Work excuses from employees

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by cook, Sep 29, 2005.

  1. cook

    cook New Member

    Messages:
    1,494
    State:
    Plattsburg,Mo.(near K.C.)
    Well,I thought I heard them all,even used a few of the same ones when I was younger.Here is a new one from Tue.

    I hired a new cook last sat.We are closed on mon. so I had him start at 10 a.m. tue.
    10.....10:30....11...no show....getting busy with lunch crowd...........call house at 3...

    Me: "Is XXXXX there"
    His wife:"he's in jail"
    Me;"what happened"
    Her:"He broke his glasses,when he came home last night he accidently walked in the wrong house and got arrested for trespassing"
    me:"........uh.....O.K."click!!

    Later got the whole story-was drunk as a skunk at midnight,10 hours before starting a new job!!!Actually did go in another house and got his azz kicked good by the homeowner.2 black eyes,concussion and broken jaw...was arrested at the hospital.(insert little smiliethings of shaking my head in disgust)

    Guess you can't fix stupid.

    Anyone else heard(or used :) ) some creative excuses,either true or made up?
     
  2. Mark J

    Mark J New Member

    Messages:
    9,407
    State:
    Four Oaks, NC
    I called into one boss and left a message on his answering machine.
    I wont be in tomorrow, The shellcracker are bedding so I'm going to the lake tomorrow to do some fishing.

    When I came back to work with a sunburned face he started laughing and said, I thought you were kidding. I figured you had some business to take care of and didnt want to say what it was.
     

  3. JERMSQUIRM

    JERMSQUIRM New Member

    Messages:
    13,145
    State:
    il-waynesv
    lmao. a buddie on mine took a sick day on sat once. when he returned to work monday he too was burt to a crisp. we went to bristol spring race. ;)
     
  4. cook

    cook New Member

    Messages:
    1,494
    State:
    Plattsburg,Mo.(near K.C.)
    I've called before and asked how busy we were.Boss said are you sick?I said no,was just too nice of a day and wanted to go fishing.Worked a couple of times.

    Now they call them "personal days"
     
  5. fwmud

    fwmud New Member

    Messages:
    693
    State:
    Wilson's Mills,nc
    I've heard so many over the years but here goes;
    "I can't make it in today,my dog is stuck in the disposal."

    "I won't be in today,my grand mother died" (me) Wait a minute, your grandmother died?"Yes she died" (me) This is the 4th grandmother you've had to die this year.(I personally thought that was a sick way to lay outa work.)

    My favorite one,
    Me,"Why is it Bill that every week, you only work 4 days?"
    (Bill) "Thats because I can't make it working only three".
     
  6. BIG GEORGE

    BIG GEORGE New Member

    Messages:
    10,362
    State:
    JOISY
    I'm havein trouble with my eyes. Can't see myself comein in today!
     
  7. JERMSQUIRM

    JERMSQUIRM New Member

    Messages:
    13,145
    State:
    il-waynesv
    remember. if your alternater goes out at least get the windex out and shine it up before ya got to work the next day. the boss may ask to look, lol.

    i work construction. ive used and heard a lot.

    one fella had to go get a restraining order on his mom cause she beat up his girlfriend. :eek:
     
  8. nuthinlikeacat

    nuthinlikeacat New Member

    Messages:
    517
    State:
    Eden Prairie, Minnesota
    I've heard a lot in my time also, but the best I've heard was a guy calling in saying he couldn't come to work because he caught crabs from the strip club the prior night. :eek:
     
  9. three_rivers

    three_rivers New Member

    Messages:
    688
    State:
    Tupelo Ar
    Heres the most recent call in we had. My wife won't let me come to work.........First time i've ever heard of a woman "not" wantin her husband to work. :confused:
     
  10. Chris

    Chris New Member

    Messages:
    489
    State:
    Spring Hill, Kansas
    Thats because you wife was going to put you to work at the house.

    chris
     
  11. TOPS

    TOPS New Member

    Messages:
    4,099
    State:
    Cabot,Arkansas
    I heard this from one of my soldiers many years ago. My wife would like to try to get pregnant and would like me to be there!! This really happen. :eek:
     
  12. tank3544

    tank3544 New Member

    Messages:
    201
    State:
    Fredericksburg, VA
    yeah nothing like the old cough into the phone, weakly say your sick .. then show up the next day with a sunburn with the outline of sunglasses on your face .. i pulled that off about 5 times at my last job

    don't have to do that now .. as a real estate agent i can wake up, decide to go fishing and do so with no one to report to :D
     
  13. JERMSQUIRM

    JERMSQUIRM New Member

    Messages:
    13,145
    State:
    il-waynesv
    excuse me fellas and ladies. i am going to do a search on how to become a real estate agent. :p
     
  14. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Messages:
    7,680
    State:
    Shawnee OK
    not an excuse for missing work, but this reminds me of a cartoon strip "Shoe"

    shoe had his laying on his desk asleep, and his boss comes and asks him: what's the matter not getting enough sleep at hom?
    Shoes reply: no. and now i'm not getting enough at work either :D
     
  15. Marshallmth

    Marshallmth New Member

    Messages:
    61
    State:
    Dayton Ohio Area
    I like the post about the broken glasses and walking into someone elses house. I am a Corrections Officer and I know from exp. that he may not of been telling a lie. Believe it or not. Of course the people I seen that got caught doing that were people I wouldnt want cooking my food.
     
  16. BKS72

    BKS72 New Member

    Messages:
    3,361
    State:
    East of KC
    Most of my guys have always used the explosive diarhea excuse. I don't want to hear a lot about it if they are making it up or pay them to spend the day in the john if they do have it, so it's usually a pretty safe story. Myself, I've always stuck to pretty simple stories. I don't want to have to remember what it was I told my boss 2 days later when he gets around to asking. :)
     
  17. river scum

    river scum New Member

    Messages:
    3,474
    State:
    hooterville indiana
    cant come in today because i went fishing last night and fell asleep. now im 50 miles down river and have to row home. thank god for cell phones ;)
     
  18. Big Nick

    Big Nick New Member

    Messages:
    477
    State:
    McKinney TX
    The best I've used is: My brother was flying in from Denver last night and had a connecting flight from Houston. When he got to Houston the airport closed down due to bad weather. I have to drive to Houston to get him.
    That one actually happened!

    Another: I have a client who wanted to go to the baseball game together and he's a very important client. (he was actually my friend who has insurance with me, and isn't a very big cleint in the first place.)
     
  19. safetybass

    safetybass New Member

    Messages:
    299
    State:
    Missouri
    One of my favorite lines I've heard is, "I came it late, so is it OK if I leave early to make up for it?"


    I had to call my boss one time and tell him the truth about why I wouldn't be back to work the next day(Tuesday) when I was supposed to be back: the guy I was fishing with had his car break down Monday evening when we were at Table Rock Lake, and the only mechanic in the little town always took Tuesday(?) off to fish, so we couldn't get the car fixed til Wednesday, so I probably wouldn't get back to work until Thursday.

    What I didn't tell my boss was I think my partner backed the vehicle into the water too far when loading the boat and got water into his electrical system. We had to leave the boat in the water until the guy could fix the car on Wednesday. When the guy checked the car out on Wednesday, he had it running by noon. Most everything had dried out sitting there in the parking lot.
     
  20. cook

    cook New Member

    Messages:
    1,494
    State:
    Plattsburg,Mo.(near K.C.)
    I once thought I had a case of the crabs-the Dr. checked and said no-he could only find 8.
    Bwhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!:):)