Why, Why, Why?

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by RamRod, May 19, 2008.

  1. RamRod

    RamRod New Member

    Messages:
    2,047
    State:
    Ohio
    :0a21:​

    Why, Why, Why?

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose idea was it to put an "s" in the word "Lisp"?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the ta ble you always manage to knock something else over?

    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    And my FAVORITE......

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you!
     
  2. JERMSQUIRM

    JERMSQUIRM New Member

    Messages:
    13,145
    State:
    il-waynesv
    lets examine this.

    1. yep. then i beat it on my arm too.

    2 just closed one account of my two because of the you have no money so we need $27 because of it fees.

    3 yep. i work construstion. always checking the drywall mud paint ect.... always checking.

    4 well because its wet. no brainer.

    5 not sure. a bullet would suffice to me. or a knife. knifes are reusable. and dont cost money each time. just get a good knife and re use it.

    6 because jane of the jungle dont want no scruffy dude. and he may grab it instead of the vine.

    7 hollywood screw up.

    8 because there nuts

    9 i think you made that word up,lmao

    10 because not all apes wanted to be stupid and get jobs like us. yet some wanted to be stupid yet like like apes.

    11 so thin there transparent.

    12 nope.

    13 yep. well after time things get more tender.

    14 sometimes the little train that could needs help. most of the time after i pick it up the darn thing will finally suck it in.

    15 they do that on pourpose. ive had some with dissapearing ends.

    16 i think they invented lights that grow dead bugs. i have several.

    17 sorry. im the @$$ that calls them an idiot.

    18 i usually knock the table over.

    19 we have a wood stove. in the winter the living room is about 80. yet in summer when its 74 i turn on ac.:confused2: not sure of that answer.

    20 stumped. guess ill have to think of a few.

    21 yep. its you:smile2:
     

  3. RamRod

    RamRod New Member

    Messages:
    2,047
    State:
    Ohio
    Nice knowing I'm one of your 4 best friends!:crazy::tounge_out::wink:
     
  4. baitchunker

    baitchunker New Member

    Messages:
    1,689
    State:
    alabama
    me and a good friend were discussing evoltion vs. creation the other day when he hit me with the whole "if we evolved from apes then how come the other apes didnt evolve with us?" thing. he had me dead to rights.


    the only answer i have for you is that my 3 best friends are all institution worthy, and they all think im crazy too. maybe alabama just has a higher concentration of mental disorders?
     
  5. JERMSQUIRM

    JERMSQUIRM New Member

    Messages:
    13,145
    State:
    il-waynesv
    lizard, alligators, crocs.

    gorrilla, monkey chimp, man.

    different species.:cool2:
     
  6. Dano

    Dano New Member

    Messages:
    13,712
    State:
    Texas
    I dont have any friends. I did ask my other personalities and all three said it was me. :tounge_out:



    Why do we fix what aint broke and end up breaking it.
     
  7. catfishjohn

    catfishjohn New Member

    Messages:
    10,217
    State:
    Greenup Co. KY
    Great post Johnny!!! I needed a laugh and smile and that did it. Reps sent to ya for cheering me up a little bit.:wink::big_smile:
     
  8. ozzy

    ozzy New Member

    Messages:
    3,936
    State:
    Lost Wages
    What Jeremy said.
     
  9. Mickey

    Mickey New Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    14,592
    State:
    Illinois
    Some good questions Johnnie. I haave no answers. Thanks.
     
  10. JERMSQUIRM

    JERMSQUIRM New Member

    Messages:
    13,145
    State:
    il-waynesv
    nadg it. #10 should have read at the end "live like apes." not like like apes.:angry: