Update.

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Angelkitty, Jul 17, 2007.

  1. Angelkitty

    Angelkitty New Member

    Messages:
    1,670
    State:
    Sheridan, Ar
    I thought i would let you all know how I am doing. i am going to the Doctors on my disiability. Saterday I went for a physical and the Doctor agreed with mine, that at this time I do not need to work until my neck and back gets better. He also did a mental exam and I have been mis diagnosed with the depression and he (Doc) had said that I am Bi-Polar. He said that if I were 60 he would say that I had Altimers disease. The stress/ stroke i had back in May had caused some memory problems. Today I got one more Doc appointment. Then they will deside weather i get SSI or not.
    Over the child support thing, I went to court and now me and the ex has to pay each other $103.00. Weird huh? Just cause he refuses to work and he is behind on his child support. He took me to court this time and I had a order since Sep. 05. :crazy::angry:
    Over my daughter, we are talking just a little but i fear that she will go down the wrong road being with her dad. But she will be 18 soon. :sad2:
    Well i thought I would update you all. I know I have not been on latly. But I have been so stressed and angry that I have been very tired and drained. well I hope you all have a good day.
     
  2. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,010
    State:
    TN
    Patricia,

    From what people tell me you may get more $ on the bi-polar, not sure. Do you take meds for it? Years ago, it was called something different, but today it's bi-polar. My Dr. gave me something called a mood stabilizer for it, some time back, but I have controlled it for 28 years on my own. Mood swings, are part of it. And sometimes it's hard to get out of those moods, but if I took every pill she prescribes for me, it would be about 20 a day and I would never be anything but a zombie. I can't file for that because I won't take the meds, but that's ok, I'd rather be awake, than the way I was all those years ago.

    We only have one life to live, and taking the meds and being a zombie, is NOT what I want. Some people don't understand me, and that's ok too, because I don't understand them. My Dr. asked me HOW I had managed all the things I had in 28 years, and I told her because I've been hurt so much in my life, I really try not to do that to other people. Sometimes I stick the people I think closest to me with a huge stick, and even they don't understand me. Sure I get upset, depressed, and angry, but I have to work it out on my own and I try not to let it show, as much as it is with me. I know sometimes it comes out and I hate myself for it, but NO ONE has walked in OUR shoes and NO ONE ever will, so we have to attempt to do the best we can in life.

    Often times I wonder if the crazy people aren't more sane than the definition our society has for sane. Look at the mess the world is in today. Look at all the crooked politicians, we let rule the country. Sometimes I think TOO MUCH news and information is exactly why people like us, get in the shape we do at times. I stopped reading the paper last April, and watching the news even before that. Personally I can't control the wars, deaths, evil people in the world, so WHY expose myself to it? The only way I know of a death in this area now, is if someone calls to tell me. They know I don't read the paper, or the obits anymore.

    When my closest brother died last August, I closed myself off and went into a deep depression until the end of May of this year. I think it was because of the only argument we ever had was in May of last year, and we never spoke again. I will have to take that to my grave with me, but I know he knew I loved him, because he left me a voice message about a month prior to his death, and talked as though nothing had ever happened. (in the end, he couldn't remember anything) The last thing he said to me was about my Mother, and I couldn't believe he said it, but now I know, he was a sick man, and didn't tell anyone, not even his wife and sons. He and I had always talked about how if we ever had an incurable medical issue, we would never tell anyone, and he didn't. But the Lord knows, I wish I could have really known what all was going on with him, when we got into that argument.

    I was the only one that he told he was on Oxycotin, so I should have realized, more than I did, but all the analyzing in the world, will never bring him back and the closeness we had during our life together. He always told me I saved his life, by telling him about a free prostate test, but sometimes I wonder if the surgery didn't help contribute to his death. I may never know, as they did not do an autopsy. I've tried unsuccessfully to get his wife to get his medical records from the VA, but she has never done it. Even for her 2 son's sake, she just can't seem to go and ask for them.

    What keeps me here on this earth, I do not know, unless it is caring for my Mother. The week before he died, to the day, I would have been struck by lightning except it hit my neighbor's tree, and lit up my chandelier in the kitchen like a red Christmas tree bulb. I figure the good Lord, knew my brother was going to pass, and someone had to take care of Mom, but that's just my analysis of it.

    When I'm feeling depressed, as I have been over the past couple of weeks, I just think, this too shall pass, but I know not when, and there are more people out there that have it a lot worse than me. Sorry for rambling, just put it in God's hands, and he will take care of it.

    Love, hugs and prayers,
    Cheryl

    P.S. I come here to visit with everyone and see if they can make me smile for a short while, and I try not to post depressing stuff, but sometimes I do, after all I am only human, and often wear my heart on my sleeve. But this place takes me away from the everyday BS of life, too. Thank you brothers and sisters, for helping me thru life, right now.
     

  3. peewee williams

    peewee williams New Member

    Messages:
    3,111
    State:
    Pembroke,Georgia
    I love you both.I really do.I love you the way God meant for us to love each other.He takes care of everything for me.None of us can handle anything alone.We do often think we can.I love you both.I wish I could hug you both right now!I love You all Brothers and Sisters.peewee
     
  4. Mickey

    Mickey New Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    14,592
    State:
    Illinois
    Patricia Prayers sent your way to help you with your needs.
     
  5. catfisherman60

    catfisherman60 New Member

    Messages:
    1,348
    State:
    Greenwood AR.
    I will keep you and newton in my prayers.Just hang in there you know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.just some tunnels are longer than others.
     
  6. pk_powell

    pk_powell New Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    State:
    Missouri
    I know all about BiPolar, my husband and my oldest daughter are both Bipolar.I have to say Thank God for the Meds,because it's just impossible to live with someone who is bipolar and not medicated.JMHO. I have been through so much it finally gave me major Depression so I have my handy Dandy pill to take. But I love all of you guys and I personally don't care what your medical or emotional difficulties are. They don't make you bad or shameful people. They make you human.And I Thank God he directed us to love each other no matter what kinda boat we are in.So I reach out my arms to any and all of ya. I wish like Pee Wee I could Hug you all!! You are so special to me I can't begin to put in to words.~~~~~~Sister Pat:big_smile:
     
  7. Angelkitty

    Angelkitty New Member

    Messages:
    1,670
    State:
    Sheridan, Ar
    I went to the last Doc for the SSI. And now I wait and see what happens. Thanks for the encouragement, to help me get through all that I am going through. Please say a prayer for Newton. He is having a rough time due to being the only one working and trying to take care of us all. He tries to hide it But I know different. Thanks in advance.
     
  8. pk_powell

    pk_powell New Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    State:
    Missouri
    You are a Real Man!! And I say BlessYour Heart. There are a lot of guys out there who would say " I didn't buy into this,and I'm having nothing to do with it" Bless Your Heart.You hang in there. I know it's very hard,striving to support everyone but God never promised we would not have some rainy days. I wish I could hug you too,cause I know what kind of boat you're in also. If you need to talk to someone PM me. I may be a woman,but Honey with my husband and Oldest daughter both being Bipolar,I know what it's like.I'm sure there is also a few MenFolk on here you can talk with also.Just hang in there and keep your chin up.There will be a better day.Once AngelKitty finds the right Doctors and she gets on the Right Meds you will see a major difference in her. I kniow I did with my family. Before I was tippy toein around trying very hard not to upset the apple cart,I failed miserably.The meds helped tremendously,which in turn helped me.My life didn't feel so frazzeled anymore.If you were where I could hug you,trust me you'd get one. You're a true champion in my book! Have a great day and know the BOC Family value's you and loves you very much!~~~~~~Sister Pat:smile2::smile2:
     
  9. countrygirl0569

    countrygirl0569 New Member

    Messages:
    229
    State:
    Kentucky
    Sister I know what it's like to go through troubles,and I hope everything works out, and I'll pray for you
     
  10. splitshot

    splitshot New Member

    Messages:
    2,827
    State:
    Coxsakie,N.Y.
    Patricia i will certainly keep you and Newton in my prayers. I encourage you to keep a positive attitude, sometimes we have to walk through the bottom of the valley before we can get to the top of the mountain. Hugs to you and Newton!!!
     
  11. catstalker459

    catstalker459 New Member

    Messages:
    343
    State:
    state line city, indiana
    we are all here for ya patricia. hang in there and as my mom would often say "this too shall pass"
     
  12. teaysvalleyguy

    teaysvalleyguy New Member

    Messages:
    9,751
    State:
    GC, OHIO
    Prayers will continue to be sent your way.
     
  13. punkin570

    punkin570 New Member

    Messages:
    2,015
    State:
    MS
    Trisha...I luv ya sis...You hang tough, I know you can, Ive spent time around you and I know you are one tough lady. Keep the faith that it will all work out and it will. We are all here for you, cheering you on.

    Newton....Bless you for hanging in there supporting your family. There are some who would run when the going got tough, it takes someone special like you to stay and stick it out. I know its bound to be hard row to hoe, but it will pay off in the end.

    Good luck to you both. Prayers and hugs are sent from our family to you and your family. Just remember....God does answer prayers.
     
  14. jholl949

    jholl949 New Member

    Messages:
    836
    State:
    Mannford. Oklah
    Sis,
    You hang in there!!! You need to talk, give me a call.
    Love Ya both and remember, we're going to Colorado at the same time!!
    Praying for ya!!!
     
  15. Angelkitty

    Angelkitty New Member

    Messages:
    1,670
    State:
    Sheridan, Ar
    Sorry Mike we will not be going to CO. David and Jessica will have their wedding at 3:00 Saturday. Then they will start there honeymoon coming home to Arkansas, Sunday. I can't wait to see him and meet my daughter-in-law. Shannon will be coming back home in August to start school. :big_smile: Just thought I would let you all know.
     
  16. poisonpits

    poisonpits Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    9,758
    State:
    arkansas
    Name:
    johnnie
    angel you know what i think of you and newton so hang in there girl and tel newton im ready for another fishing trip.love you kids.
     
  17. trippyclwn

    trippyclwn Member

    Messages:
    603
    State:
    Chattanooga, Tn
    Name:
    Tracey
    kitty i hope everything works out for you, you seem like a very sweet lady and i will keep you in my prayers! i know we dont always know why we go through things but he gives us the power to overcome them if we look for it!
    have a great day ! :big_smile:
     
  18. Angelkitty

    Angelkitty New Member

    Messages:
    1,670
    State:
    Sheridan, Ar
    Johnnie, I will let him know. And yes I know. :wink: I have felt pretty good today. Laughing and giggling just about at anything and I don't know why? But I am not asking questions either... :crazy::big_smile: Just going with the flow is all i know to do.:smile2:
     
  19. jholl949

    jholl949 New Member

    Messages:
    836
    State:
    Mannford. Oklah
    Trisha,
    that's OK. You're getting to see David and that's the important part.
    Remember that GOD won't lay more on us than He'll give us the strength and resources to bear. I'm still praying for you and Newton and Shannon, too. Have her email me and let me know how she is.
    Love to you all.
     
  20. TDawgNOk

    TDawgNOk Gathering Monitor (Instigator)

    Messages:
    3,365
    State:
    Tulsa, Oklahoma
    Trish, in the words of Bobby McFerrin: