First let me thank all who questioned my absence. Lot of good people here, and i missed you all. there have been several posts by me that haven't been understood the way i meant, and that is the nature of the beast when you are dealing with words and not voice inflection and facial expressions. i regret that some have been put off by said posts. taking time to reflect on those posts and the resultant misunderstandings hasn't been all that helpful as yet. the nature of this type of public forum, seems to me, is always going to foster that type of mis-communication between people that haven't met or become personally acquainted in some way. most times, mis-understandings can be overcome with effort and time, but sometimes it doesn't get done. that is not good, but it is reality. there are personalities that seem to be at odds and it seems like sometimes that difference can't be overcome. the injury i suffered 4 months ago has affected me more than i realized or wanted to admit. it is almost healed physically now, but the nerve damage results in almost constant pain or discomfort. i am not going to stay on painkillers, so i just have to get used to it. in reflection there is no doubt in my mind that that situation has affected my attitude. i apology deeply for any offence i have caused in the last 4 months. i am ultimately responsible for my attitude and demeanor, and blaming it on my inability to deal with a little discomfort is lame. difficult to express what i want to without speaking, but i feel that i owe a debt of explanation to BOC members. i am trying to be careful in what i say because i don't want this moved to HI. i believe that all members are owed an explanation and i know that many of you don't go to HI. perhaps i will opt out also. might solve some things. causing a rift or ruckus on the BOC is not what i want to do, nor be involved in. thanks to Paul, Mike, and Eric for their patience and effort. and Vic, i don't think you're going to find "greener pastures".