Tips on the tax relief money

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Mi11er, Feb 4, 2009.

  1. Mi11er

    Mi11er New Member

    Messages:
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    State:
    Independence, M
    This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This
    is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A
    format:

    "Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
    "A. It is money that the federal government will send to
    taxpayers.

    "Q. Where will the government get this money?
    "A. From taxpayers.

    "Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
    "A. Only a smidgen.

    "Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
    "A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
    high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

    "Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
    "A. Shut up."


    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy
    by spending your stimulus check wisely:

    If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to
    China.

    If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.

    If you purchase a computer it will go to India.

    If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico ,
    Honduras , andGuatemala
    (unless you buy organic).

    If you buy a car it will go to Japan .

    If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .

    And none of it will help the American economy.

    We need to keep that money here in America.
    You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going
    to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY)
    , or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.