Thinking twice (Please read)

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by crayzeecade, Aug 15, 2006.

  1. As my closest friends know I moved from my home in Nebraska to be with my girlfriend here in Baldwin Park, California. What no one knows is that along with my girl lives her aunt, cousin, and her cousins girlfriend. Recently I have been trying to clean up around this house because no one seems to care about living neatly. There are also 2 cats that stay inside all day everyday which makes the house smell funny. The 3 other occupants of this house do basically nothing to clean the inside. My girlfriend works night and has little time to help clean anyways which makes her exempt from quite a bit of cleaning at home. Which leaves me and my free time. I like living in a house where I can be pround of where I live. Apparently that is not the way things go here.

    This morning I found our clenaest bathroom door open which it shouldnt be because the cats liek to get in there and destroy anything that rips. Low and behold a roll of our toilet paper was gone and one single piece of it lay on the floor, but the roll was gone...... I only had to think where tha cats take everything... to their favorite spot. What do I find? YES!!.... the entire roll was obliterated into tiny pieces no larger than an inch!!.... Right then I was out for blood. I knew it was my girlfriend's cousin and or his girlfreind that left the door open. They knew for so long to never leave that door open. Hell they have lived here for years!!!, and I have only lived here for 3 months and I always shut the door. Despite the fact that they never clean, never help with chores, stay up late and smoke weed or drink all the time is something I thought I could deal with. Until today.....

    Another small fact is that her aunt smokes in her room frequently and she doesnt care that there are non-smokers that live under this roof. We could tell her and yell at her to stop, but that would never work because I think she isn'r running on all cylinders... if you know what I mean.

    With everything that goes on in this house and in their family I have begun to think twice about a life here. It doesnt help that my girlfriends mom won't let her move out of this house until she svaes up enough money to buy a place of her own, which could take a year or more. By the way, this house was her grandparents house and it was well taken care of until they all moved in.

    To simplify my rant.... I would like any and all opinions from my BOC family about this situation. I followed my heart to move back here, and now I am thinking harder about not staying. Since my move here to the BOC I hope this doesn't go too far or is asking too much of anyone.
     
  2. ka_c4_boom

    ka_c4_boom New Member

    Messages:
    2,252
    State:
    Bedford,Ky
    we have all heard the saying you made the bed lye in it , but some times we have to do whats best for ourselves , im not one to give or recieve advice from maybe i should have set back and read this thread on occasion , but my feelings would be consider your girl friend do you love her enuff to put up with whats goin on, can you and her talk some since into the others together , if not maybe the two of you could look for another place to live just an idea
     

  3. FishMan

    FishMan New Member

    Messages:
    2,293
    State:
    Tennessee
    Move out...Quick...what if they got busted, how would that look on your record. At the very least you would get investaged.

    It's not worth it.
     
  4. Ol Man

    Ol Man New Member

    Messages:
    3,170
    State:
    Illinois
    Ever heard the term "Eviction notice"? There are lovely ladies that do like clean living...:eek:oooh:
    ~~~~~~~~~~
    Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (Mark Twain)
     
  5. Mutt

    Mutt Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    18,949
    State:
    Ca
    Name:
    Mutt
    I am not going to give you advice on this you have to do what you feel is right in your heart. !. if they are smoking weed your in just as much trouble as they are if busted that alone for me would be reason to get out. 2. she cant move out till she has enough to buy a house? whats wrong with this picture. 3. I wouldnt live in a place that no one pitches in to help keep up plain and simple you live there you help out no help no live thats my way of thinking. You need to search out what is best for you look at the overall picture is being saddled down to this girl that has family that is breaking the law and wont do a thing really worth it to you? what ever you decide in your decision I wish you the best. I know what Id do.
     
  6. Dreadnaught

    Dreadnaught New Member

    Messages:
    5,444
    State:
    Henderson,Ky
    I too would have a problem with most of this and would have gone ballistic by now!!!

    But this statement bothers me somewhat!!!

    Seems to me that you are the new guy on the block and to tell someone that they can't smoke in their own home is just plain rediculous brother!!! I know it wouldn't fly with me at all!!!

    My advice to you is to find a place of your own, and move your GF in with you. If you can't live with what they do, move out. Saying something to them could cost you a relationship with your GF.
     
  7. cattinfever999

    cattinfever999 New Member

    Messages:
    426
    State:
    KY
    I would tell you to start looking for another place. Talk to your girlfriend, but if she doesn't want to move, I think you still need to. I know what it's like to live in misery. It will only bring you down. My life was so much better when I got out. This is just my opinion. I hope the best for you. Good Luck.
     
  8. TA2D

    TA2D New Member

    Messages:
    886
    State:
    Nebraska
    Come home brother, come home!!! You can even sleep on my couch if you want to! And surf on my high speed when it gets hooked up!

    Aaron

    TA2D
     
  9. Prospector

    Prospector New Member

    Messages:
    21
    State:
    Arkansas
    I read your post and up to a point it was De'ja-vue. My wife and I met online and she moved to Arkansas to be with me. This wasnt something done on a whim. We talked online about 8mths before we ever talk by phone. What I'm trying to say is, we became "Friends" first, talk about anything, say anything, DO anything FRIENDS!! "Soul-Mates" if you want to put it that way. So... my question to you is this; "Is she your Soul-Mate"?? Is she my "Best" Friend?? Does she make you complete?? IF the answers to these questions are yes, then the following is my suggestion

    Sit your girlfriend down, YOU 2 get on same page as what you would like to see happen, then you step up, and make it happen. If the others in the house arent working inside the house, then they need to be working "outside" the house. THAT way, you could have all day to clean and not have them underfoot. Also...I would find something to do with the cats. Cause if they were not mine, I wouldnt clean up after them.

    I hope this has helped. Main thing is; YOU and your girlfriend have to be on same page!! So talk to HER first and go from there
    THANKS
    Glen
     
  10. flathead willie

    flathead willie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,241
    State:
    Virginia
    You have some serious thinking to do. If you are in the service and they are into weed, it's time to go. Especially if you plan on making a career out of it. How old is your girlfriend? If she is 18 it's not up to her mother when she goes.
    If you plan on marrage, remember, you don't just marry a person, you marry two families together. Is this the family you really want?
     
  11. thomcat

    thomcat New Member

    Messages:
    375
    State:
    pennsylvania 17745
    Man, i feel for you...
     
  12. JAinSC

    JAinSC Active Member

    Messages:
    1,514
    State:
    South Carolina
    Might not be what you want to hear, but here goes. Keep your frustration to yourself and move out. Take your girlfriend with you if you want.

    I have a wife and son both of whom are bigger slobs than I am (I believe he learns form her), and I have learned to choose my battles. It's not worth the friction it will cause to bitch out the people you see as the offenders. It won't change their behavior, and it will piss off everyone.
     
  13. truckin4x4

    truckin4x4 New Member

    Messages:
    759
    State:
    columbus, Ohio
    i would give your girl the opption to move back home with you or leave her there. or just find your own appartment to live in(with her)
     
  14. beeheck

    beeheck New Member

    Messages:
    631
    State:
    Iowa / Missouri
    A few options that I can see... First, If you really love this girl and think she might be the one, move out and get a place of your own close by and just visit that house when you have to and live in your own place. Having someone :wink: for a sleep over is optional at this point. Kind of like when you were little and had a friend stay over you played under the covers with a flashlight and stayed up late, well kind of like that, sort of, never mind. Second, get rid of the cats. I don't like cats so do it any way that you can live with. OK, I don't mean KILL the cats simply take them to the pound or re-locate them to a nicer neighborhood where they would be better taken care of. Your doing it for them, after all. Third, run like Forest Gump about to get run over by a pickup. Go back to Nebraska and find yourself a farm girl that knows how to take care of ALL her property and enjoy life. 'nuff said!
     
  15. MattShannon

    MattShannon New Member

    Messages:
    829
    State:
    WV
    I have much respect for a neat freak, but it's their house not yours. Live by their rules or move out. Seems simple to me, but may not be. What's up with the money issue, if she's 18 she can make her own choices. If she's 18 and loves you enough that you are living together, then she'll go with you. If she's not 18 or older, you shouldn't be living there anyway. I be damned if someone moves in my house with my daugter before or after she is 18. If it's time for them to live together, then he needs to be able to support them. If not, it's not time yet. No offense, that's my advice. Oh yea and the weed thing, looks like you are a military man, you have a good road ahead of you already, don't screw it up with being anywhere near drugs.
     
  16. BamaCats Lady

    BamaCats Lady New Member

    Messages:
    312
    State:
    Luverne, Alabama
    Well, you never told us her age. So if she isn't 18, you shouldn't be there in the first place. If she is 18, Then her mother really doesn't have the right to tell her she can't move out til she can afford to buy a house. Which will probably take more than a year! You do look like you are in the service by your pic, but truthfully, one way or another it doesn't matter. With them smoking grass, you don't need to be exposed to the second hand smoke. If they get busted, you get busted & will test positive for THC.
    Have a sit down with your girlfriend & tell her how you feel & what is going on. See how she feels. If you are both of like mind, then both of you, get the heck out of there! If she doesn't agree, then I would have to say, If you love something set it free.... if it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't.. It never was.
    Best of luck,
    Lisa
     
  17. catcam

    catcam New Member

    Messages:
    175
    State:
    Georgia
    I would get the hell out of dodge! Nothing sounds desirable there, not even free rent if that's the case. And if that's the only reason you stay you are crazy like your name. Take the girlfriend with you if you love her, maybe move home to your folks if they have better family values. Or get a place on your own. Just a thought. Good luck. :smile2: Remember you are not going to change those people, they are who they are.
     
  18. suddawg

    suddawg New Member

    Bro as your good friend of many years, I told you before you left to do what makes you happy. But my advice would be to get her away from her family, that way you can really get to know her without them allways trying to be there controlling everything. Dude, Omaha is full of jobs; and it doesn't have to be permanent. If she can manage this midwest winter :crazy: And I'm pretty sure the cost of living here in NE is a little cheaper then Cali. Anyways, you know you're allways welcome to stay with me because you're family...allways will be. Later bro

    Shane
     
  19. loanwizard

    loanwizard Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,297
    State:
    Coshocton,
    Whose name is the deed to this house in? he who has the power makes the rules. If it is your girlfriends house, she has let these people in. Does she really want them gone and doesn't know how to be the bad guy? Did she discuss this with you prior to you moving in? You said Momma won't let her move until she can buy her own place? Who is trying to buy, momma or girlfriend... who owns the house you live in?
    Good luck with this one, we are praying for you.
     
  20. peewee williams

    peewee williams New Member

    Messages:
    3,111
    State:
    Pembroke,Georgia
    I think that you already know the right answer.I think that you need to get up the courage to do what you know is right,and then do it.If not,accept the fact that you are going to be a slave and a provider to that bunch to the day that the last one of them or you dies.A big piece of the puzzle is missing here.Why is your business.Most young people and many older people mistake lust for love.That is perfectly normal.If you are lucky,by 30 years of age your brain will have moved up on your shoulders where it belongs.I sorely suspect that you are afraid of leaving alone.I also suspect it would be the best thing that can happen to you.The question is"are you going to stay and be one of them" or are you "going on with your life and make it in this world."You are being drug down.Are you going to fight or are you going to give up?I believe that you need action,not advice.What can anyone tell you that you don;t already know.You are where all of the facts are.The very fact that you stopped to ask is bad for you.I have not said all of this as a brother.I talked as if you were my son.You just do right.If she is worth having,she will do right by you.God will see to it.peewee-williams