Things About Chevys

Discussion in '4X4 Truck Talk and Repairs' started by oh no, Oct 18, 2007.

  1. oh no

    oh no New Member

    Messages:
    11,108
    State:
    Indiana
    Q: How do you double the value of a Chevy?
    A: Put gas in it.

    Q: How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
    A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

    Q: Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
    A: So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.

    Q: How much wood could a GM truck haul if a GM truck could haul wood?
    A: As much as the Ford towing it.

    Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a Tampon?
    A. A tampon comes with its own tow rope

    Q. Why do Chevys have magnetized bumpers
    A. To pick up the parts that fall off other Chevys

    Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
    A. Push it off a cliff.

    Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?
    A. The bus schedule.

    Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Chevy"?
    A. Sounds like a fair trade.

    Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
    A. A miracle?

    Q. What do you call two Chevy's at the top of a hill?
    A. A mirage.

    Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes?
    A. Customized.

    Q. How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill?
    A. Turn the engine off.

    Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?
    A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.

    Q. What do you call Chevy passengers?
    A. Shock absorbers.

    Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
    A. Park it between two Fords

    Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
    A. A shopping cart is easier to push.

    Q. Why did GM put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?
    A. To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop

    Q. Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
    A. So they will save the Fords gas when the Ford tows them away.

    Q. What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
    A. Would you like a tow home?

    Q. How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
    A. Put a Ford engine in it.

    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. To push his Chevy into the shop

    Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
    A. Because his Silverado got stuck.

    Q. Why are the Chevy dealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
    A. So the owners have someone to walk home with.

    CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

    CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.

    CHEVROLET= Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.

    CHEVROLET= Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.

    CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.

    CHEVROLET= Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually Towed

    CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet

    GMC= Garage Man's Companion

    GMC= Garbage Manufacturing Company

    GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming

    GMC= Gay Mans Chariot

    GM= General Mistake

    GM= Glued Metal

    GM - Mark of Ignorance

    A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Chevy, YOU ride in it!!!"

    Ashes to ashes,
    dust to dust.
    If it wasn't for our Chevy's,
    our tools would rust.

    From the past 10 years, about 95% of Chevy trucks are still on the road. The rest made it home.

    Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say "Speed limit 65, Chevys-do the best you can"

    Thats not a leak, my Chevy's just marking its territory.

    Buy a Chevy and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.

    I could never keep a Chevy under me, I was always under the Chevy.

    Speed Kills, Drive a Chevy and live forever.

    You can Ford a stream, you can Dodge a stream, but a Chevy will sit and rust in a stream.

    A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he had, how many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man, growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat and said to the young man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch and still not get to the other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Chevy truck too"!

    Here I sit brokenhearted
    Wishing that my Chevy started
    But it didn't so thats a wrap
    I think I'll shoot this piece of cr@p

    "Chevy, built like a rock and runs like one too."

    :smile2::smile2::big_smile::big_smile::wink::wink:
     
  2. brad kilpatrick

    brad kilpatrick New Member

    Messages:
    2,666
    State:
    Kansas City
    good timing seeing how GM just got blated By consumer reports they rated only 49% of GM's vehicles as reliable!

    Of domestic models rated, 93 percent of Ford, 49 percent of GM and 67 percent of Chrysler models had average or better predicted reliability
     

  3. TDawgNOk

    TDawgNOk Gathering Monitor (Instigator)

    Messages:
    3,365
    State:
    Tulsa, Oklahoma
    something tells me ya don't like Chevy's.

    Too bad, they are great trucks!
     
  4. oh no

    oh no New Member

    Messages:
    11,108
    State:
    Indiana
    Hey Tdaug,

    I just seen this and had to share a laugh with everyone. I have owned Chevy trucks, then I saved enough money to buy a Ford. Plain Jane Chevys used to be a few thousand less than Fords, on new ones.
     
  5. River_monster91

    River_monster91 New Member

    Messages:
    2,233
    State:
    central kansas
    thats some of the funniest stuff i ever read! i used to own a chevy but guess what...it broke so i bought a ford...it to broke (old age) lol and so i got a mighty ford ranger!
     
  6. GMC FishHauler

    GMC FishHauler New Member

    Messages:
    1,335
    State:
    Waco, Texas, Un
    keep talking guys, You must be online lookin for parts and can't find them (SINCE YOU DRIVE A FORD AND THEY CHANGE THE PARTS AROUND MONTHLY)
     
  7. River_monster91

    River_monster91 New Member

    Messages:
    2,233
    State:
    central kansas
    haha...your just mad that my little ranger would run over any full sized GMC pickup that got in its way lol
     
  8. GMC FishHauler

    GMC FishHauler New Member

    Messages:
    1,335
    State:
    Waco, Texas, Un
    LOL, ur right. I am just mad.
     
  9. SSgt Fishslayer

    SSgt Fishslayer New Member

    Messages:
    1,241
    State:
    south carolina
    i'm not mad at you. i have 2 chevy trucks and you couldnt get me to trade them for 10 fords. and if your little ranger is bad enough to drive over either one of them, then you can have them both. but i dont think you are going to be able to do it. the suburban has 10 inches of lift and is sitting on 37's and the silverado has 8 inches of lift and on 35's. but you are more than welcome to try. if you would rather we can hook up and see who can pull the other.
     
  10. Creteus

    Creteus New Member

    Messages:
    1,030
    State:
    Loganville, GA
    I have to hand it to my GM 5500. After buying it, spending about 4K to replace everything that has a wire hooked to it, I've been able to put 10k miles on it without stopping in for a weekend at the stealership. Now my Ford is sittin on the driveway with a kayak on top ,4 fishing poles in the bed, tackle box in the cab, threads showing on all 4 tires in the back, a wore out rearend and a cracked turbo and still have more faith in her than that duratrash sittin next to it:smile2::smile2::smile2::smile2:
     
  11. SSgt Fishslayer

    SSgt Fishslayer New Member

    Messages:
    1,241
    State:
    south carolina
    hey creatus, thats exactly where a Ford belongs, sitting in the driveway. :wink:
    i have a 78 bronco sitting at home that i wouldnt drive to the corner and back, cause i dont trust it. on the other hand my suburban has a busted steering column, 4wd is broke, and i drive it all over town, knowing that i will make it back home just fine. i guess there are just those diffrences between people. just like brunette vs blonde vs redhead.
     
  12. Creteus

    Creteus New Member

    Messages:
    1,030
    State:
    Loganville, GA

    No differance there. They all work for me:wink:
     
  13. slimdaddy

    slimdaddy Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,603
    State:
    Nelsonville, Oh
    Name:
    Keith
    pretty funny but id still rather push my chevy than drive a FoundOnRoadDEAD FORD LOL
     
  14. south_va_fisherman

    south_va_fisherman New Member

    Messages:
    534
    State:
    Muddy Cross, Virginia
    now thats funny right there...even funnier cause its true!:wink:
    get a ford
     
  15. badkarma

    badkarma New Member

    Messages:
    772
    State:
    Oxford,Miss
    I loved Chevy trucks till I bought an S10,that was the biggest pile of trash I've ever owed.I traded it for a Ford Ranger and my daughter's Chevy quit on her so I had to take a trailer and haul my girls Chevy 700 miles to get it home.I towed the trailer with my Ranger and it took 13 hours on the road and that little Ford got us home with no problems.I will never own another Chevy unless someone gives it to me but I would trade it for a Ford as soon as I could.
     
  16. Kyle

    Kyle New Member

    Messages:
    347
    State:
    Kansas City - Olathe
    I used to drive a ford, but then I got a job...
    hah, I'm with you Fishslayer, I wouldn't take 5 brand new fords for my 97 Chevy Suburban. I love it! I like to think theres no ford ranger I can't roll over with my 39s...:wink:

    Took a pic at the lake the other night...
     

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  17. Mac-b

    Mac-b Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    19,516
    State:
    North Caro
    In Oct. 1984 I bought a new Chev. Sub. with a 454 engine. Pulled a 32' Coachman trailer with it for several years (8-9 MPG) and then a double motorcyle trailer to Speed Week at Daytona for several years and then some heavy equipment the rest of the time. In 2005 I sold it and bought me a Ford F150 and the first week I had it the clamp that holds the fuel line leading to the carp. came loose and I had a dangerous situation. Ford fixed it and everything has been fine since. Now the only thing I pull is my boat trailer. I now get 18 MPH on the Ford. It appears to me that both are good if you service them.
     
  18. River_monster91

    River_monster91 New Member

    Messages:
    2,233
    State:
    central kansas
    wish i was rich:embarassed:
     
  19. River_monster91

    River_monster91 New Member

    Messages:
    2,233
    State:
    central kansas
    wait a minute...how are you turning that size of tire? must of put a ford engine in it right?
     
  20. Mark J

    Mark J New Member

    Messages:
    9,407
    State:
    Four Oaks, NC
    I tell ya, I drive 140 miles of interstate 5-6 days a week.
    One thing I see alot of on the road with high mileage and some years under its belt is those S-10's whether its a truck or Blazer.

    Any vehicle is subject to break down and leave you beside the road if its brand new or old.

    Pay attention to the older vehicles you see plying the highways.
    There is alot of them S-10's.

    I currently commute that 140 miles a day on a 4 door 4 wheel drive S-10 Blazer that has 170,000 miles on it and its a 97 model. Its only had 3 sets of tires put on it including the ones put on at the factory.
    Its been well maintained as any vehicle should be.
    My last Blazer had almost 500,000 on it before it was wrecked. When I got it, it had been halfway maintained if that. Although it was wore slam out, and rode like a 3 legged mule it still got you there and back without any smoke.

    The key to any vehicle lasting a long time is first leaving the thing alone.
    I learned this the hard way but as I got older I started listening to the wisdom of dad. Son, leave that crap in the parts house and in the magazines.
    You can undo in 10 minutes what 15 auto engineers took 18 months to do.
    Change the oil religiously and if something breaks, fix it right now, not after the next 3 things break.