The Resume of Jesus Christ

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Ace, Jul 23, 2006.

  1. Ace

    Ace New Member

    Messages:
    881
    State:
    Gastonia N
    Address: Ephesians 1:20
    Phone: Romans 10:13
    Hello. My name is Jesus -The Christ. Many call me Lord! I've
    sent you my resume because I'm seeking the top management position in
    your heart. Please consider my accomplishments
    as set forth in my resume.

    Qualifications:
    *I founded the earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs
    3:19) * I formed man from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7) *
    I breathed into man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7) * I redeemed
    man from the curse of the law, (See Galatians 3:13) * The blessings of
    the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life
    through me, (See Galatians 3:14)
    Occupational Background: * I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49).
    *I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
    *My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me,{See Matthew 3:15- 17}.
    Skills Work Experiences:
    *Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering
    the poor to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the
    captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting
    at liberty them that are bruised, (See Luke 4:18).
    *I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me
    shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33).
    *Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse
    you of your sins, (See I John 1:7-9)
    Educational Background:
    *I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom
    and understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6).
    *In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See
    Colossians 2:3). * My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being
    a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105). *
    I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms 44:21).
    Major Accomplishments:
    *I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all
    times, (See Genesis 1:26). * I laid down my life so that you may live,
    (See II Corinthians 5:15). * I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind
    and made a show of them openly, (See Colossians 2:15). * I've
    miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead! * There
    are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here. You can
    read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the BIBLE. You
    don't need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.
    References:
    *Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings,
    salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance
    In Summation:
    Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only
    candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In
    summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Prov 3:5-6), and lead
    you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47). When can I start? Time is of
    the essence, (See Hebrews 3:15).

    NOW MAY OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF, AND OUR
    GOD AND FATHER, WHO HAS LOVED US AND GIVEN US
    EVERLASTING CONSOLATION AND GOOD HOPE BY GRACE,
    COMFORT YOUR HEART AND ESTABLISH YOU IN EVERY
    GOOD WORD AND WORK. Amen. ( 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 ) :worship:

    :0a28: :0a28:




    :cat: :cat:
     
  2. kbgrillin

    kbgrillin New Member

    Messages:
    862
    State:
    Tennessee
    My resume don't look quite as good as that one. Thanks for sharing that. But HIS resume is all true.
     

  3. thegavel

    thegavel New Member

    Messages:
    1,317
    State:
    West Des Moines, Iowa
    Good thing this isn't a competition... My resume is no where close to his... I give him the open spot in my heart... hoping to rekindle some of the waning flames in my heart...
     
  4. janton311

    janton311 New Member

    Messages:
    654
    State:
    Wichita Kansas
    Thanks for sharing that..good thread...:smile2:
     
  5. Kittycatcher

    Kittycatcher New Member

    Messages:
    260
    State:
    Clarksville, Te
    The one and only that can fill your heart, it is up to you. Have a blessed day!
     
  6. teaysvalleyguy

    teaysvalleyguy New Member

    Messages:
    9,751
    State:
    GC, OHIO
    Another great post Ace, thanks brother. That is awesome.
     
  7. fishinpals

    fishinpals New Member

    Messages:
    547
    State:
    Virginia, Illinois
    Great post and His resume isn’t exaggerated one bit!
     
  8. MRR

    MRR New Member

    Messages:
    4,947
    State:
    Louisiana,Mo.
    A better resume was never posted. Thanks for sharing and hopefully open a few EYES. GOD BLESS !!
     
  9. BamaCats Lady

    BamaCats Lady New Member

    Messages:
    312
    State:
    Luverne, Alabama
    All I can say is WOW! Great Post definitely a cut & paste & forward!

    Lisa
     
  10. catfishjohn

    catfishjohn New Member

    Messages:
    10,217
    State:
    Greenup Co. KY
    Thanks for sharing Ace!!!
     
  11. wylie catter

    wylie catter New Member

    Messages:
    675
    State:
    South Carolina
    Great post Ace. It's all true.
     
  12. countrygirl0569

    countrygirl0569 New Member

    Messages:
    229
    State:
    Kentucky
    Thanks for that Ace, it's a good one
     
  13. peewee williams

    peewee williams New Member

    Messages:
    3,111
    State:
    Pembroke,Georgia
    I am sure glad that I believe all of it.It sure does give me a wonderful feeling.I would surly hate to just feel part of what I feel.I guess that having it all sort of ruins trying to live on bits and pieces.Gosh I feel so good to feel so bad!peewee-williams