The Perfect Marriage

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Ace, Nov 18, 2006.

  1. Ace

    Ace New Member

    Messages:
    881
    State:
    Gastonia N
    I know some of you will say who's Red SKELETON? Right? b4 my time?
    Right? Take a look.......



    RED SKELETON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

    1.Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
    little beverage, good food and companionship.
    She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

    2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is
    in Texas.

    3.I take my wife everywhere..... but she keeps finding her way back.

    4.I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
    anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
    So I suggested the kitchen.

    5.We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

    6.She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread
    maker.
    She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" ..
    So I bought her an electric chair.


    7.My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
    there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she
    told me "In the lake."

    8.She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
    Then the mud fell off.

    9.She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
    for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"

    10.Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

    11.I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
    Always.

    12.I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to
    interrupt her.

    13.The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the
    TV?" I said "Dust!"

    Can't you just hear him say all of these?
    I love it.........this is the good old days
    when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........ just
    clean and simple fun


    :beat_brick: :beat_shot: :eek:h: :dribble: :look_down:





    :cat:
     
  2. bud1110

    bud1110 New Member

    Messages:
    1,096
    State:
    East Texas
    Ahhh yes,

    I remember Red Skeleton,

    He was a very funny man indeed, and never used cuss words, like they THINK, they need to do, today..


    Thanks for sharing Ace..
     

  3. pk_powell

    pk_powell New Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    State:
    Missouri
    oops I'm givin away my age! You are so correct! Good clean humor,I wish we still had him! Do you remember Foster Brooks? My dad laughed at them both well we all did until we cried! Oh Ace my brother! You bring back many treasured memories! You are a great Brother!:lol:
     
  4. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,010
    State:
    TN
    Ace,

    I love Red. I even have some old movies and shows of his in my video collection.
    Too bad men like him, Henry Fonda, Jimmy Stewart, and some of the other older actors are no longer living.

    Thanks for brightening my day.
    Take care.
    Cheryl
     
  5. catfishjohn

    catfishjohn New Member

    Messages:
    10,217
    State:
    Greenup Co. KY
    Those were great Ace!!! Thanks for sharing!
     
  6. DELLIS

    DELLIS New Member

    Messages:
    314
    State:
    OHIO
    thanks for sharing