The future has arrived. Tomorrow, is now today!

Discussion in 'Gateway Catfishing Club' started by FREESPOOL, Dec 17, 2008.


    FREESPOOL New Member

    Edwardsville, Illinois
    It's in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign
    your unemployment check. You're a man who likes to do things your own
    way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is
    permitted, you want it in your car. It's that special feeling of a
    zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with
    possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the
    Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors.

    All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory
    American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress
    to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-
    biodeisel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the
    base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy
    styling pizazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again --
    with a vengeance.

    We've subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With
    its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5
    thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you'll never be
    late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or
    strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport
    Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated
    268 MPG, that's a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over
    the 2011 Pelosi.

    Even with increased performance we didn't skimp on safety. With 11-
    point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey
    helmet, you'll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45
    MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of
    illegal speed.

    But the changes don't stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-
    new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM's Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy
    slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even
    features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat
    up to 15 minutes -- even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet.
    Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from
    Harvest Avocado to French Mustard.

    Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank
    features thoughtful appointments like in-dash condom dispenser and
    detachable vibrating shift knob. A special high capacity hatchback
    holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption
    center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band
    sound system means you'll never miss a segment of NPR again.

    Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by
    fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit's famous visionary
    jet-set managers. Even if you don't own one, you can enjoy the
    patriotic satisfaction that you're supporting the high wages, good
    benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making
    the American car industry the envy of the world.

    But why not buy one anyway? With an MSRP starting at only $629,999.99,
    it's affordable too. Don't forget to ask about dealer incentives,
    rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers
    from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay
    financing programs from Fannie Mae.
    So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the
    Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President
    Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you'd choose it
    over the import brands. Even if they were still legal.


    FREESPOOL New Member

    Edwardsville, Illinois
  3. Dredge

    Dredge Member

    ROFLMAO!that's good.