The dumbest/funny thing you ever said to a cop.

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by cheapNdisgusting, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. cheapNdisgusting

    cheapNdisgusting Well-Known Member Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    17,517
    State:
    Zalma Mo.
    Name:
    Russ
    I've said a few but my personal favorite was (and still is) I got pulled over, the cop walked up to the car, looked at me with his flashlight and said "Are your eyes all red from drinking"? My reply was "No, are your eyes glazed over from eating doughnuts?".

    Just one of those things that happen before you realise that it may not be funny to him. I thought it was funny and so did the other guys I spent the night with in the tank.

    Not exactly my most brilliant moment.
     
  2. JEFFRODAMIS

    JEFFRODAMIS New Member

    Messages:
    2,537
    State:
    TEXAS
    I have a book published on this subject :sad2:


    i got accused of racing one night in my dually...i was surrounded by cars and in the slow lane going 25 mph...cop heard a fart can on a honda..pulled me over...i revved the truck up and said "IS THAT WHAT YOU HEARD?!?"

    his response with gun drawn "GET OUT OF THE TRUCK NOW!!! "


    took 5 loads of cops to give me my ticket for no proof of liability insurance even though i gave it to the officer.... went to court over it 3 times..got a formal appology from the police dept and the District Attourney.
     

  3. ryang

    ryang Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,290
    State:
    Blacklick, Ohio
    Name:
    Gary
    Worst I ever said was your wife says hi:crazy::smile2:

    Im here till Thursday :smile2:
     
  4. restorerancientiron

    restorerancientiron New Member

    Messages:
    1,061
    State:
    Cadiz, KY
    working third shift sometimes it is hard to get enough sleep.I was speeding home got pulled over I guess the officer though I was drunk.It made me mad when he told me to do a field sobriety test.I got out of the truck , he told me to balance myself on one foot.I replied I couldn't do that even if I was sober.:smile2:He kept me until the state boy showed up to give me a breathlizer.Almost an hour yeah that was stupid.
     
  5. Mickey

    Mickey New Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    14,592
    State:
    Illinois
    Once when I was a Deputy Sheriff on patrol, I noted an extended cab truck flying through town. I stopped the truck and began to question the need for his speed. When his 7yr.old daughter raised up out or the rear seat and said to me. "Mr. Policeman if I told you I was sick and wanted to go home, would you not give my daddy and mom a ticket?" Old soft heart let them go and told her I hope she got well by the time she got home.:big_smile:
     
  6. bedbug jr

    bedbug jr New Member

    Messages:
    1,084
    State:
    Missouri
    "Who me?" and "My truck won't even go that fast", but the one that landed me at the booking desk is, "I'll bet your Mom wishes birth control was retroactive". Now I just say "Yes sir and thank you". Stay safe and TRY to think first:wink:
     
  7. slikk03

    slikk03 New Member

    Messages:
    2,507
    State:
    illinois
    one time we were young and realy dumb had the van full of smoke, cop pulled us over and said whats that smell,lost for words we said we had a tobaco smoke out and he let us go,lol this is a real story but after thinking about them days that was the dumbest thing i ever said,this happend again wen i was drunk,im not a drinker so 1 beer im buzzing,i almost hit the local child molester , the cop pulls me over and said you almost hit that car, i says that child molester,,, cop looks at me knowing im drunk and says go home and starts cracking up:smile2::smile2:
     
  8. JEFFRODAMIS

    JEFFRODAMIS New Member

    Messages:
    2,537
    State:
    TEXAS
    lmmfao!!
     
  9. catfishrollo

    catfishrollo New Member

    Messages:
    6,894
    State:
    Ohio
    We got pulled over one night on the way home from fishing about 3 am. We had been bankfishing that night in the fall, and had a small campfire. When the officer walked up to the pickup with 3 of us packed in a single cab. He asked," who had been smoking". None of us had been, so the driver replied, "no one". All was well until my other buddy opened the glove box to get the registration out, and a handfull of Swisher Sweet Cigars came rolling out that my buddy had stashed and forgot about. Needless to say, we all 3 were out of the truck and questioned after that! He was not happy! rollo
     
  10. Welder

    Welder New Member

    Messages:
    4,834
    State:
    Missouri
    I have had my runins with em just get my ticket and go on. One night I was goen into work, a lil cranky had one follow me for 15 miles tail gaten and bright lighten me. I had enough slowed down to 15 mpr and was pullen over before he even hit the lights. First thing he asked me ya know how fast ya was goen. Yep 15 mp. Then asked sir ya benn drinken. Yep lotsa water. He looked @ me weird. I smiled said next time ya brite light and tail gate someone for 15 miles ya might cause a wreck. He told me to go on about my biz in a not so nice tone. Musta been short on the ticket qouta. I am shure he could have detained me ect but all my papers were in order. Only rude Hwy Patrol officer I ever met.
     
  11. katmax

    katmax New Member

    Messages:
    1,070
    State:
    griffin ga
    had a cop pull me over one night ask me if i was drinking told him yes sir ...he ddnt think it was funny when i told him it was coke....:big_smile:
     
  12. slikk03

    slikk03 New Member

    Messages:
    2,507
    State:
    illinois
    wen we were 15 16, we had nothing to do but party like mad hippie punks,living in a small town theres not much to do at that age but have fun ,the local child abuser was our target:smile2: we paintballed his house threw fish in his yard ,one time we were drunk ect , i gave my freind a ring and about 15 of them were drunk,i says call that petafile up and give him hell,so he called steak in shake and orderd 30 hamburgers under the petafiles name ,wen it came time for him to pick them up the cops were called they come to my door asking about it and i fell to the ground in tears:smile2: neddless to say i never got arrested just yelled at for cracking up,the other boys and girls had to make a written apolagie to him:smile2: i never had to:smile2: true storey ask my brother mrflathead
     
  13. CBurns87

    CBurns87 New Member

    Messages:
    363
    State:
    Topeka Kansas
    Well it wasnt said to a cop, but it was said to a 911 operator.....


    ME: drinving down the road, end up wrecking my car....called 911

    OPERATOR: What is your emergency?

    ME: *crying* i just ran into a bridge

    OPERATOR: You just ran into a bridge?

    ME: yes, i ran into a bridge

    OPERATOR: Ok, well what bridge did you run into?

    and so on and so on....and yes everyone i did run into a bridge, true story, you can even ask my hubby (who still to this day laughs at me about it):big_smile::embarassed::big_smile:

    But when i first called just by the way the lady was talking she didnt believe me that i really ran into a bridge..lol
     
  14. whisker maniac

    whisker maniac New Member

    Messages:
    2,712
    State:
    arkansas
    I quoted the law one time to a cop when I was just a kid and hadn't been driving long... turned out he hadn't been a cop all that long and I was right and he was wrong lol... but I still got the ticket and paid it but it was sweet when he finally had to go to the police academy and he got scared when he found out that my dad was the instructor lol
     
  15. 223reload

    223reload New Member

    Messages:
    10,798
    State:
    Oklahoma
    Funniest thing I remember was at 15 Just had my lisc. for a few months,I drove across the highway in the dark without my lights on,well the local A$$hole waits till 3 hrs later to pull me over. I am polite. He looks at my lisc and says where 'd ya get this ,out of a box of crackerjacks?? ,I just smiled and said ,Yup its a new fad . You oughtta try em.:wink: I didnt get no ticket,But the butt chewin of my life,And after telling my dad,he raised enough hell about this city cop detaining me and yelling at me that his days as our CHIEF OF POLICE were done.
     
  16. DANZIG

    DANZIG New Member

    Messages:
    6,672
    State:
    West Virginia
    "had one follow me for 15 miles tail gaten and bright lighten me. "

    They do that to "nervous you" into committing a traffic violation,,, then they can "fish" for a DUI or find "probable cause" to do a search.

    If you are "clean" it is fun to dynamite the brakes. Blame it on the deer or a stray cat that ran across the road.:wink:


    Best one I ever heard (from the back seat) was our designated drunk hopping out of the car and saying,,
    "I know I'm drunk, but why did you pull me over??"

    And then the simultaneous, "oh sh&*" from the other five of us! :smile2:

    To our DDs defense, he was driving perfectly fine.
     
  17. bootshowl

    bootshowl New Member

    Messages:
    2,288
    State:
    Indiana, J
    "Nope, only thing I'm bringing back is Jose."....(with a brother corpsman from Arizona stationed at the Naval Hospital with me) when asked if I had anything to declare bringing back from Mexico. He was over my shoulder from too much party.....
    :smile2:
     
  18. Bill in SC

    Bill in SC New Member

    Messages:
    4,451
    State:
    South Caro
    Had a cop pull me over in the '70s. I was on my Harley chopper with a girl. He asked me did I know how fast I was going. I said yes, 55 mph. He said how do you know, you don't have a speedometer. I told him I could tell by the speed that the white lines were going by. (which I can pretty close) This wise ass drew his pistol like Matt Dillon and asked me if I would bet my life on it. I said sure. He holstered his pistol and let us go, without even a warning. I think he was just trying to show off in front of the hot chick I had on my scooter. This is a 100% accurate, true story.

    Bill in SC
     
  19. steveturner024

    steveturner024 Active Member

    Messages:
    825
    State:
    Illinois
    Name:
    Steve Turner
    When I was in the army the dumbest thing I ever done was give up on a field sobriety test. They said we never had someone give up before. I told them it was easier to give up and just go to jail instead of suffering through the field sobriety test then going to jail. I don't even remember driving that night.
     
  20. slikk03

    slikk03 New Member

    Messages:
    2,507
    State:
    illinois
    reps to this thread good stories, i love them storey kids nowdays dont know how to have fun, i guess thats not a bad thing i recken i dont want to bail my boy out for the same bs i did:smile2: