The 2006 Darwin Awards

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Ace, Jan 18, 2007.

  1. Ace

    Ace New Member

    Gastonia N
    In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin
    > Awards,
    >>here they are.. The awards this year are, once again, truly classic.
    >> These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains or
    > estate
    >>of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done
    > the
    >>most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
    >> Just think... until these events, these same people were walking the
    >>streets like normal people.
    >> 5th RUNNER-UP: Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he
    > hit
    >>a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the
    > slope
    >>on a foam pad. 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central
    >>Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3:00 a.m., the Mono
    > County
    >>Sheriff's Department said.
    >>Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump
    > Alley
    >>and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike
    >>Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to
    >>protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads
    > to
    >>slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since
    > been
    >>investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with its pad
    >> ----------------------------------------------------
    >> 4th RUNNER-UP: Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being
    > disorderly
    >>in a St. Louis market.
    >> When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot
    > dog,
    >>shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying.
    >> Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics
    > removed
    >>the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.
    >> 3rd RUNNER-UP: Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain , who shot a
    > stag
    >>standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when
    > it
    >>fell on him.
    >> 2nd RUNNER-UP: "Man loses face at party."
    >> A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the winner last
    > year,
    >>a man in Arkansas who used the.22 bullet to replace the fuse in his
    > pickup
    >>truck) popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an
    >>explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue.
    >> Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank
    > during
    >>the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it
    > in
    >>an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it. It
    > wouldn't
    >>go off and this guy said "I'll show you how to set it off."
    >> He put it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and
    > his
    >>lips and tongue off Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded
    > condition
    >>Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson
    > at
    >>Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing
    >>something like that," Payne said.
    >> 1st RUNNER-UP: Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon
    > man
    >>shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will
    > be
    >>released soon from the hospital.
    >> Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an
    > initiation
    >>into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now
    > as
    >>Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grants Pass, Oregon. A friend tried
    > to
    >>shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right
    > eye.
    >>Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major
    >>blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly.
    >> Neurosurgeon, Doctor Johnny Delashaw, at the University Hospital in
    >>Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the
    > tip
    >>protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all
    > major
    >>blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the
    > arrow
    >>out on his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted
    >>afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon.
    > Said
    >>Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No charges have been filed, but
    > the
    >>Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt
    > is
    >>under investigation.
    >> The late, John Pernicky and his friend, the late Sal Hawkins, of the
    >>great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert
    > at
    >>the George Washington amphitheater.
    >> Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they
    > thought it
    >>would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the
    > show.
    >>They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for
    > Mr.
    >>Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence
    > and
    >>then assist his friend over.
    >> Unfortunately for the late Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on
    > the
    >>other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself
    >>crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken,
    > along
    >>with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts.
    >> Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some
    >>bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall,
    > he
    >>removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free
    >>himself from the tree.
    >> Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp
    > leaves
    >>scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his
    > shorts, a
    >>holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, upon landing
    > his
    >>pocket knife penetrated his thigh.
    >> Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him
    > a
    >>rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup
    > truck
    >>and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste, he put the
    > truck
    >>into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and
    >>killing him.
    >> Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100
    > feet
    >>from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries.
    > Upon
    >>moving the truck, they found John under it half-naked, scratches on his
    >>body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts
    >>dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.
    >> Congratulations gentlemen! You win! And some more idiots have been
    >>removed from the gene pool.

  2. 223reload

    223reload New Member

    As allways 'nother GOODUN ! thanks for the info and the laugh glad those idjets cant carry on thier genes

  3. splitshot

    splitshot New Member

    Those were some incredibly stupid People!!!!
  4. Wooly

    Wooly New Member

    Really makes me wonder why god hasn't replaced us! Always like reading the "Darwin Awards" ,it makes me feel less stupid.