The 2006 Darwin Awards

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Ace, Jan 18, 2007.

  1. Ace

    Ace New Member

    Messages:
    881
    State:
    Gastonia N
    In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin
    > Awards,
    >>here they are.. The awards this year are, once again, truly classic.
    >>
    >> These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains or
    > estate
    >>of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done
    > the
    >>most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
    >>
    >> Just think... until these events, these same people were walking the
    >>streets like normal people.
    >>
    >>------------------------------------------------------
    >>
    >> 5th RUNNER-UP: Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he
    > hit
    >>a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the
    > slope
    >>on a foam pad. 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central
    >>Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3:00 a.m., the Mono
    > County
    >>Sheriff's Department said.
    >>
    >>Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump
    > Alley
    >>and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike
    >>Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to
    >>protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads
    > to
    >>slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since
    > been
    >>investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with its pad
    >>removed.
    >>
    >> ----------------------------------------------------
    >>
    >> 4th RUNNER-UP: Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being
    > disorderly
    >>in a St. Louis market.
    >> When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot
    > dog,
    >>shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying.
    >>
    >> Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics
    > removed
    >>the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.
    >>
    >>-----------------------------------------------------
    >>
    >> 3rd RUNNER-UP: Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain , who shot a
    > stag
    >>standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when
    > it
    >>fell on him.
    >>
    >>-----------------------------------------------------
    >>
    >> 2nd RUNNER-UP: "Man loses face at party."
    >> A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the winner last
    > year,
    >>a man in Arkansas who used the.22 bullet to replace the fuse in his
    > pickup
    >>truck) popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an
    >>explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue.
    >>
    >> Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank
    > during
    >>the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it
    > in
    >>an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it. It
    > wouldn't
    >>go off and this guy said "I'll show you how to set it off."
    >>
    >> He put it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and
    > his
    >>lips and tongue off Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded
    > condition
    >>Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson
    > at
    >>Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing
    >>something like that," Payne said.
    >>
    >>----------------------------------------------------
    >>
    >> 1st RUNNER-UP: Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon
    > man
    >>shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will
    > be
    >>released soon from the hospital.
    >>
    >> Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an
    > initiation
    >>into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now
    > as
    >>Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grants Pass, Oregon. A friend tried
    > to
    >>shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right
    > eye.
    >>Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major
    >>blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly.
    >>
    >> Neurosurgeon, Doctor Johnny Delashaw, at the University Hospital in
    >>Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the
    > tip
    >>protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all
    > major
    >>blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the
    > arrow
    >>out on his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted
    >>afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon.
    > Said
    >>Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No charges have been filed, but
    > the
    >>Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt
    > is
    >>under investigation.
    >>
    >>------------------------------------------------------
    >>
    >> Now, THIS YEAR'S WINNER:
    >>
    >> The late, John Pernicky and his friend, the late Sal Hawkins, of the
    >>great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert
    > at
    >>the George Washington amphitheater.
    >>
    >> Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they
    > thought it
    >>would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the
    > show.
    >>They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for
    > Mr.
    >>Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence
    > and
    >>then assist his friend over.
    >>
    >> Unfortunately for the late Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on
    > the
    >>other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself
    >>crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken,
    > along
    >>with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts.
    >>
    >> Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some
    >>bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall,
    > he
    >>removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free
    >>himself from the tree.
    >>
    >> Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp
    > leaves
    >>scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his
    > shorts, a
    >>holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, upon landing
    > his
    >>pocket knife penetrated his thigh.
    >>
    >> Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him
    > a
    >>rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup
    > truck
    >>and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste, he put the
    > truck
    >>into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and
    >>killing him.
    >>
    >> Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100
    > feet
    >>from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries.
    > Upon
    >>moving the truck, they found John under it half-naked, scratches on his
    >>body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts
    >>dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.
    >>
    >> Congratulations gentlemen! You win! And some more idiots have been
    >>removed from the gene pool.

    :cat:
     
  2. 223reload

    223reload New Member

    Messages:
    10,798
    State:
    Oklahoma
    As allways 'nother GOODUN ! thanks for the info and the laugh glad those idjets cant carry on thier genes
     

  3. splitshot

    splitshot New Member

    Messages:
    2,827
    State:
    Coxsakie,N.Y.
    Those were some incredibly stupid People!!!!
     
  4. Wooly

    Wooly New Member

    Messages:
    134
    State:
    Illinois
    Really makes me wonder why god hasn't replaced us! Always like reading the "Darwin Awards" ,it makes me feel less stupid.