Southerners

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by ldw45, Apr 19, 2008.

  1. ldw45

    ldw45 Member

    Messages:
    487
    State:
    Illinois
    Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
    Clean skin.
    A winning smile.
    That unforgettable Southern drawl.

    Southern women know their manners:
    "Yes, ma'am."
    "Yes, sir."
    "Why, NO, Billy!"

    Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :

    "Y'all come back!"
    "Well, bless your heart."
    "Drop by when you can."
    "How's your Momma?"

    Southern women know their summer weather report:
    Humidity
    Humidity
    Humidity

    Southern women know their vacation spots:
    The beach
    The rivuh
    The crick

    Southern w omen know the joys of June, July, and August:
    Colorful hi-heel sandals
    Strapless sun dresses
    Iced sweet tea with mint

    Southern women know everybody's first name:
    Honey
    Darlin'
    Shugah

    Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
    Fried Green Tomatoes
    Driving Miss Daisy
    Steel Magnolias
    Gone With The Wind

    Southern women know their religions:
    Baptist
    Methodist
    Football

    Southern women know their country breakfasts:
    Red-eye gravy
    Grits
    Eggs
    Country ham
    Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

    Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
    Chawl'stn
    Meem fis
    S'vanah
    Foat Wuth
    N'awlins
    Addlanna

    Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
    Men in uniform.
    Men in tuxedos
    Rhett Butler


    Southern girls know their prime real estate :
    The Mall
    The Country Club
    The Beauty Salon

    Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:

    [FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif][FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif][FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif]having bad hair and nailsHaving bad manners
    Cooking bad food

    More Suthen-ism's :

    Only a Southerner knows the difference between a
    hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
    _____

    Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
    _____

    Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

    _____

    Only a Southerner knows exactly how long"directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
    (correctly pronounced “drectly”)
    _____

    Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
    _____

    All Southerners know exactly when"by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
    _____

    Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
    _____

    Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between"right near" and
    "a right far piece." They also know that"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
    _____

    No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
    _____

    A Southerner knows that "fixin"
    can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
    _____

    Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, . .. and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!
    _____

    Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
    _____

    In the South, y'all is singular,

    all y'all is plural.
    _____

    Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
    _____

    Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
    _____

    When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
    _____

    Only true Southerners say"sweet tea"
    and
    "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
    _____

    And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say," Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
    _____

    To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
    _____
    And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
    _____

    And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

    Southern girls know men may come and go,
    but friends are fahevah!

    Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!

    If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
    We know you got here as fast as you could






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  2. r ward

    r ward New Member

    Messages:
    2,954
    State:
    Kathleen G
    Well Dean thaa was right nice ya hear but I se where you from Illinois so why you know so much bout southern folk
     

  3. dinger66

    dinger66 New Member

    Messages:
    899
    State:
    north alabama
    i guess some people are just jealous of the south .they always wanna her .yall come back now lol
     
  4. jtrew

    jtrew New Member

    Messages:
    4,404
    State:
    Little Rock, AR
    "Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food."

    Now I have no problem with the first part of this, but anybody who thinks fried green tomatoes aren't a great breakfast food would ask for a second slice of cow pie. You always fry up about twice an many green tomatoes as folks can possibly eat (which is about twice an many as a normal person would think they could eat) just so you'll have a mess for breakfast the next morning.
     
  5. ldw45

    ldw45 Member

    Messages:
    487
    State:
    Illinois
    Well Dean thaa was right nice ya hear but I se where you from Illinois so why you know so much bout southern folk


    Well.....shucks.... don't Southern Illinois count......lol.
     
  6. Pirate Jerry

    Pirate Jerry New Member

    Messages:
    613
    State:
    Yulee Florida
    Jtrew, how right you are. Fried green tomatos and mayo (in the South thats Miracle whip) make a great samwitch for anytime day or night.!!!
     
  7. firechief4201

    firechief4201 New Member

    Messages:
    1,055
    State:
    Catlettsburg, Kentucky
    Kentucky dish a hot brown.
     
  8. PeeDee Cat

    PeeDee Cat Member

    Messages:
    351
    State:
    SC
    Dean,
    I am like r ward how do U know so much about the people in the south? Maybe U have spent some time down in Dixie? But as far as my southerness there is no way that I am embarrassed. Maybe U need to come down to Dixie and spend some time and find out what it is really about and maybe U will stay. Maybe so or maybe not. The old saying goes U can take the manout of the country but U can't take the country out of the man. Have a good day.

    PEEDEE CAT
    :smile2: