Some fishing terms!

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Katmaster Jr., Nov 24, 2005.

  1. Katmaster Jr.

    Katmaster Jr. New Member

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    Catch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.

    Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by sad fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).

    Line - Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.

    Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

    Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

    Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

    School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.

    Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

    Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.

    Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming "that darn line" for once again losing the fish. :D :D :D
     
  2. BIG GEORGE

    BIG GEORGE New Member

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    Good work Zakk! LOL!
     

  3. Katmaster Jr.

    Katmaster Jr. New Member

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    Thanks......personal experience's :eek: LOL....... :glare: :D :D :D
     
  4. davesoutfishing

    davesoutfishing New Member

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    Menominee Michigan
    A woman goes into Wal-mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-mart associate standing there with dark glasses on. She asks, "Excuse me sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind, but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it all on the counter anyway. He said "That's a 6' graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all around rod and reel, and it's $20." She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register. And in the meantime, the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed, but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was she. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She asks, "But didn't you say it was $20?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20, the duck call is $3, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!"
     
  5. davesoutfishing

    davesoutfishing New Member

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    479
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    Menominee Michigan
    Fishing For a Sale A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up." The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?" "One," said the young salesman. "Only one?" blurted the boss, "most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?" "Three hundred thousand dollars," said the young man. "How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss. "Well," said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser." The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?" "No," answered the salesman "He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, 'Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing.'"
     
  6. davesoutfishing

    davesoutfishing New Member

    Messages:
    479
    State:
    Menominee Michigan
    Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses.
    We don't have any, replied the first blonde.

    Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses. said the Game Warden.

    But officer, replied the second blonde, we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river.

    The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. Well, I know of no law against it, said the Game Warden, take all the debris you want. And with that, the Game Warden left.

    As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. What a dumb Fish Cop, the second blonde said to the other two, doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?!
     
  7. Katmaster Jr.

    Katmaster Jr. New Member

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    Ha, Ha....I like that last one alot. :p :D
     
  8. Katmaster Jr.

    Katmaster Jr. New Member

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    State:
    Wilmington, NC
    Some more fishing terms

    ---- Fly-fishing is the most fun you can have standing up.

    ----Anglers...exaggerate grossly and make gentle and inoffensive creatures sound like wounded buffalo and man-eating tigers.

    ----It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming.

    ---Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

    ----There he stands, draped in more equipment than a telephone lineman, trying to outwit an organism with a brain no bigger than a breadcrumb, and getting licked in the process.

    -----Some go to church and think about fishing, others go fishing and think about God.

    -----Scholars have long known that fishing eventually turns men into philosophers. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to buy decent tackle on a philosopher's salary.

    ----There is certainly something in angling that tends to produce a serenity of the mind.

    ----Three-fourths of the Earth's surface is water, and one-fourth is land. It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time fishing as taking care of the lawn.

    ----When a man picks up a fishing rod for the first time, he may not know, he has been born again.

    ----Fishermen don't yield to the weather.

    ----I always give myself three days to catch a fish: one for weather, one to get to know the water, and one for luck

    ----The awkward fisherman does nothing but disturb the water.

    ----There are two types of fisherman - those who fish for sport and those who fish for fish.

    ----Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.

    ----All fishermen are liars except you and me and to tell you the truth, I'm not so sure about you!

    ----The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of that which is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope

    ----A River Runs Through It: He told us about Christ's disciples being fisherman, and we were left to assume...that all great fishermen on the Sea of Galilee were fly fisherman and that John, the favorite, was a dry-fly fisherman.

    ----If you want to fish, fish.

    ----Everyone ought to believe in something; I believe I'll go fishing.

    ----Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.

    ----Calling fly-fishing a hobby is like calling brain surgery a job.

    ----Men and fish are alike. They both get into trouble when they open their mouths.

    ----The gods do not deduct from man's allotted span the hours spent in fishing.

    ----I differentiate between fishermen and anglers. All anglers are fishermen, but not all fishermen are anglers. The fisherman hopes to lure fish, while the angler seeks an intangible catch

    ----The Fishing was good, it was the catching that was bad.

    ----Catch and Release fishing is a lot like golf. You don't have to eat the ball to have a good time.

    ----Rivers and the inhabitants of the watery elements are made for wise men to contemplate and for fools to pass by without consideration.

    ----A good gamefish is too valuable to be caught only once.

    ----Blessings upon all that hate contention, and love quietness, and virtue, and Angling.

    ----Fishing is much more than fish. It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers.

    Hope you enjoy these! :) :cool:
     
  9. gcarlin

    gcarlin New Member

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    Very Good Stuff Zakk
     
  10. buddah

    buddah New Member

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    hahaha, I like it all! Thanks for the grin Zakk!
     
  11. Katmaster Jr.

    Katmaster Jr. New Member

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    lol, Glad you guys like it.
     
  12. catfishjohn

    catfishjohn New Member

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    Those were great.Thanks for sharing!!!
     
  13. Coyote1

    Coyote1 New Member

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    Missouri
    Good Ones Bro's! :smile2: :lol:
    "Thanks" for sharing.
    Cordially,
    Coyote1
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