Sibling Seperation

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Night Owl, Jun 17, 2007.

  1. Night Owl

    Night Owl New Member

    Messages:
    22
    State:
    Montana, (Billings)
    My two oldest children have gone off to Minnesota and Wisconsin for 2 months, leaving my youngest son of 2 1/2 at home with me since i don't work days. He doesnt speak very clearly yet but i know he has to be wondering why they disappeared all of a sudden. They Have been gone just a few days and he keeps looking in their rooms and they are gone. He seems happy spending one on one time with me during the day and i make sure to actively play with him like going to the park and playing tag with this huge fitness ball and bike riding and various other activities. My concern isnt that he'll forget them, but rather the concern he may have as time lapses about their mysterious disappearance and how he will cope without them in his life. Every year the kids go off to Other states to visit with relatives but this year we decided it would be best to keep him with us since his age would make him more of a burden on his aging grandparents. What should i do to ensure he rides through this rough time as far as his growing sadness is concerned.. Talking with them on the phone is tough cuz he doesnt speak clearly. I've considered playing some family videos to keep him pacified but theres gotta be more sound advice with all the cool members we have, many of which are parents. Thanks for any advice, Geoff (Night Owl) Cloutier
     
  2. Hope

    Hope New Member

    Messages:
    1,177
    State:
    Oklahoma
    Geoff,

    This is only my amateur opinion along with practical experience with 4 children, but... I don't think that kids at age 2 1/2 have too strong a conception of time. I mean, 5 minutes - 2 weeks - 3 months... it's all relative when you live in the moment, as kids do.
    Just think back to the last time you told him he needed to be ready to go in 10 minutes. That simply doesn't compute to him yet. (Doesn't compute to my 16 yo daughter either, but that's another story :roll_eyes: :big_smile:)

    About the phone calls... havin photos of his siblings around should help some... and remember, his ability to understand what he hears is likely far greater than his ability to express himself. "Talkin" on the phone is definitely no waste. (I dunno whether you and his grandparents have those picture phones, but that'd be one thought.) Or emailing photos back and forth... even snail mail - so he can see his siblings with the grandparents (and vice versa - the older kids are likely missin their baby brother, too!) Seeing photos of the people they're with may make more of an impression on him than where they are - geographically speaking... but I'd even show him on a map... cuz little kids are usually alot smarter than we give them credit for, I think. Great early geography lesson there :smile2:

    But mostly, I wouldn't worry about it too much! Kids are amazing about takin stuff in stride. Where the difficulties come in is that anxiety is contagious...
    they'll pick up on their parents' anxiety about the circumstances and then possibly act that out. He'll follow the lead of Dad and Mom and as long as his immediate needs are bein met, he'll be a happy camper.

    Oh, wait... just thought of something else. If he enjoys coloring or playing with modeling clay, he could make his sibs some artwork to mail to them. Then have the grandparents take a photo of them with his project/gifts. Seems like that'd draw them all closer together in his mind. Hope this helps! Happy Father's Day :lol:
     

  3. Tala

    Tala Guest

    Bring out the photo albums. Let your son look at pictures of his older siblings. Maybe you can help him make his own scrapbook, with a few of their pictures. This can be something that he carries around with him. And in the end You and your son can both cherish the quality one on one time.
     
  4. cook

    cook New Member

    Messages:
    1,494
    State:
    Plattsburg,Mo.(near K.C.)
    :0a24:

    Yep,what they said!!:big_smile:
     
  5. JenJen

    JenJen New Member

    Messages:
    59
    State:
    South Carolina
    After reading your post, I was all geared up to start dishing out some advice. And then I read your replies, and Hope pretty much covered it! I have a son who's almost two, and he is devoted to his two older brothers. But they've gone off for a while, and my toddler does the same thing you mentioned - keeps checking their room.

    Everything Hope said is true - especially about the phone being a good idea. He'll understand a lot of what they're saying, and even more, he'll understand that they're still in his life, still in the picture. And talk to him a lot about when they're comming home. It's not the day count down so much as him hearing you say a lot that they are, indeed, comming home.

    The idea Hope had of sending his siblings some drawings is really great. I'd do that one if I were you. And her other points, about how little kids take things more in stride than you'd think and about how they feed on your worry are words taken out of my mouth. It's hard to see a little fella obviously bothered by something, when you're not sure if he can understand your explainations. But his little mental wheels will be running on it, trying to figure it out, just like everything else in his world. And if you seem fine with it, he'll asume it must be fine.

    Good luck. Keep us posted.
     
  6. Night Owl

    Night Owl New Member

    Messages:
    22
    State:
    Montana, (Billings)
    thanks for the sound advice from everyone, that was good stuff. I have some play dough we could use perhaps and then use the oven as a kiln to keep the figures in place. that was a good idea and i shall put those into action. My camera phone should be arriving in the mail tomorrow or the next day, so i will utilize that option along with the other helpful suggestions as well....thanks all, Geoff (Night Owl) Cloutier
     
  7. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Messages:
    7,680
    State:
    Shawnee OK

    sounds to me like you're doing it, Geoff..he's in good hands buddy:smile2:
     
  8. Dano

    Dano New Member

    Messages:
    13,712
    State:
    Texas
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Night Owl [​IMG]
    .................What should i do to ensure he rides through this rough time as far as his growing sadness is concerned.. ...................................(Night Owl) Cloutier



    Thats it. You are doing a good job by your post.