Satire on fishing rules, plus some truths

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Mac-b, Sep 23, 2008.

  1. Mac-b

    Mac-b Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    19,543
    State:
    North Caro
    Catfisherperson Rules:

    Do not talk about another fisherperson behind their back, tell them what you have to say in front of them. Stand back four feet in case he/she swings at you.

    Do not steal from another fisherperson. If they left it out for the world to see, it probably ain't worth stealing. You might spend more getting it fixed than what it was worth new. Remember, 'tho shall not steal'.

    Do not lie about how big your cat was that you caught yesterday. It is accepted to round it up or down to the nearest pound. Not the nearest ten or twenty pounds.

    Do not go fishing without your fishing gear. Wives and girlfriends pick up on this real quick. Quick way out of this situation is to tell them that you used a buddies equipment. Make sure he does not have a cell or home telephone.

    Do not lie to your fishing buddies about what kind of bait you caught the trophy cat with. If you caught it on a piece of burnt hot dog, tell them, eventho they will not believe you. When they say you are lying, then tell them you caught it on a nice skipjack.

    Do not litter. No joke on this one.

    Do not leave the rear tie down straps on the boat when you are trying to back it off the trailer. Been there, done that.

    Do not use any other site for your fishing educational needs or visiting other fisherpersons than the BOC, it just ain't worth it! No futher comments needed.

    Do not forget your life jacket when you are on the waterways.

    Do not pass by a boater in need of assistance. Next time it might be you.

    Do not criticize me for this thread. If you have some "do not's", share them with us.
     
  2. kennylee

    kennylee New Member

    Messages:
    271
    State:
    Missouri -
    Do not forget to raise your motor when trailering, when the skag drags the concrete you won't be able to pull up or back up, and your going to be wincing when your try to raise the motor off the concrete. Don't ask me how I know, I just know.
     

  3. poisonpits

    poisonpits Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    9,757
    State:
    arkansas
    Name:
    johnnie
    do not forget to renew your fishing lic.game wardens dont have a funny bone.
     
  4. jolie

    jolie New Member

    Messages:
    828
    State:
    PA
    OBSESSION
    Do not obsess about fishing...well. STOP obsessing about fishing tomarrow. Next week? Next month?

    Do not write dozens of posting each day in multiple forums. people will wonder what the heck you do, that you can post, and post :crazy:... been there Doing that. who knows perhaps they will tire of you and hope you shut up!

    WIFE
    Do not forget to tell the wife you love her and to kindly ignore that kind'of half upset look she gives you when you go out

    When you ignore that kind'of half upset look she gives you, do not let guilt ruin the fishing trip

    Don't lie about how late you stayed out to fish, my wife always knows!! EVEN when she is snoring-sure Asleep SHE KNOWS!

    Do not put smelly, half spilled container of liver or worms in the fridge. of course WHAT to do with smelly, half spilled containers bait I have NO idea!:sad2:

    MONEY
    Do not spend lots of money for fishing AND do not use low-cost poor quality stuff:tounge_out:

    SPOTS and LUCK
    Do not stay too long on one spot AND do not leave the optimal fishing spot. do not leave at a spot at all, in busy crowded waters!!

    Do not be discouraged when you fish 8 hours without a bite, cuz perhaps you will fish another 29 hours without a bite

    Do not be dissapointed by the catch; he's there and has kindly obliged you by fighting as hard as he can

    SUMMARY
    Do not make it TOO complicated (this is supposed to be recreation)

    Do not fail to stop and watch the sunsets and see the ducks!
     
  5. takeaction

    takeaction New Member

    Messages:
    427
    State:
    Ware Shoals, SC
    just adding mine.

    Do not lose patience when teaching small children to fish. Do not get angry or yell at them. Yes, they're gonna mess up. Yes, they're probably gonna hook YOU a couple times. Yes, they might even throw their pole in the water while trying to cast it, and YOU gotta go get it, even though that river water is SO cold. :smile2:
     
  6. BigBird

    BigBird New Member

    Messages:
    2,104
    State:
    Charlotte, NC
    Dont bring back flounder if you told your wife you went to Santee!
    Wife's friend told us about that one-Lol!
     
  7. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Messages:
    7,680
    State:
    Shawnee OK
    do not forget to put the drain plug in the boat BEFORE you back it in the water.

    do not forget to open the gas tank vent before you go full throttle across the lake.............as was stated, don't ask me how i know, i just know:embarassed:
     
  8. thecatman

    thecatman New Member

    Messages:
    1,763
    State:
    Graham, Texas,
    do not forget to make sure you have enough gas in both your boat and truck to get to and from your fishing spot been there done that not good lol
     
  9. BIG GEORGE

    BIG GEORGE New Member

    Messages:
    10,362
    State:
    JOISY
    Do not ignore that urge to take a crap before ya head out. Buckets leave marks. LOL! :crazy:
     
  10. dreamer34

    dreamer34 New Member

    Messages:
    849
    State:
    danville virginia
    do not forget there is a reason for a boatplug......guilty as charged
     
  11. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Messages:
    6,598
    State:
    Iowa
    Let's go. You bring the bait, the boat, the truck, the rods and tools, get me a license, and bring the sandwiches.

    I'll bring the beer. But I get to keep the cans for the deposit.

    Maybe you could clean what we might catch while we are at it.

    Ain't we gonna have fun?
     
  12. raybait1

    raybait1 New Member

    Messages:
    210
    State:
    SE Texas
    Dont forget the TP! just in case :)
     
  13. Sunbird

    Sunbird New Member

    Messages:
    781
    State:
    Sandy Run,
    Don't assume the flip open tab is your gas cap. "57 gallons? I thought the tank only held 35!" "OOOPS!!!"

    I heard tale of a guy gassing up his NEW boat but instead of the gas cap he put the gas into the rod holder. It ate all the foam out of the boat! TOTAL LOSS! "Do we have insurance?"
     
  14. kennylee

    kennylee New Member

    Messages:
    271
    State:
    Missouri -
    Many years ago, when I was 18, I bought my first boat, 14 foot v-bottom with and 18 horse. Couldn't wait to get it on the water and start stetching lips. My buddy and I drove to the lake and got stopped by the water patrol at the ramp, and started my new boating experience with 3 tickets before I even got the boat wet.

    No horn or whisle
    No fire extinguisher
    No floating throw device (seat cushion)

    Do not forget your safety equipment!