Sage advice/ home remedies

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by flathead willie, Oct 30, 2009.

  1. flathead willie

    flathead willie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,241
    State:
    Virginia
    SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES AND CURES:

    1.AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

    2.AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

    3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS, SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

    4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

    5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES.THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

    6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

    7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

    DAILY THOUGHT:

    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
     
  2. beespringer

    beespringer New Member

    Messages:
    2,206
    State:
    sunfish, k
    I agree but on line 6 I feel you need to add tie wire also:smile2:
     

  3. Salthart

    Salthart New Member

    Messages:
    1,264
    State:
    North Carolina
    Get with the times people.. JB Weld ROCKS ! heheheh
     
  4. Mickey

    Mickey New Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    14,592
    State:
    Illinois
    Thanks Billie. I like #2 and as a Hillbilly I should have learned that a long time ago.:wink:
     
  5. Boomer

    Boomer New Member

    Messages:
    1,037
    State:
    Oklahoma
    I totally agree with the cough and laxatives, probably one of the best remedies...
     
  6. bw69r

    bw69r Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,816
    State:
    West Newton, PA
    Amen on the daily thought.
     
  7. whiteriver

    whiteriver New Member

    Messages:
    617
    State:
    in
    This is common sense in action, I am over whelmed with awh, under whelmed with appreciation and just whelmed with the knowledge that Willie is on my friends list. HOW lucky is that? :tounge_out: