We are planning a trip to Iowa. You are probably thinking - why would anybody plan a trip to Iowa? Well, the wife says it's time to visit her in-laws. Key words here are "WIFE SAYS". I have been there before and always felt like an outsider so this time I want to be prepared and have a few questions about "fitting in". Do I have to drive a truck or is a car acceptable? Is it neccessary for one headlight to not work? Do I have to grow a mullet to fit in? Is camoflage clothing required during the day? How about at night? Is it neccessary to wear mismatched shoes or work boots? Must I bring my own toilet paper? Is there anything to eat except corn and pork? Do I have to carry a can of "Skoal" in my back pocket? I have many more questions but right now I am a little overwhelmed and it is time for my medication.