Ramblings - Part 2

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by postbeetle, Dec 20, 2007.

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  1. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Messages:
    6,598
    State:
    Iowa
    Just some yap for you this morning. Three o'clock here and I am waiting for Mr Sun.

    Boots, which one is me in that attachment? I don't see anybody with a hat.

    Cheryl. Yes I did get our camera. It came UPS yesterday. I saw the woman UPS driver turn around at the top of our hill, hang something on our 911 address sign and drive off. She refused to come down our long lane, worried about the snow and ice. What a union driver wuss (I think they are union) I had to fire up the Ranger fliver, load two dogs and go to the top of the hill to retrieve the package. There flapping in the wind was three hundred dollars worth of hardware about ready to get stolen. I didn't open the box. It is setting here next to me at the computer. I am afraid to open it. I'll bet it has a book of instructions a mile thick. I'll read the Mexican print first, maybe it will help me with the English translation. Technology frightens me. I don't even know how to turn on our TV set, let alone use a digital camera. Sometime this weekend, after the proper number of beers I will open it.

    Now to Nancy. Nancy loves Christmas. She hates getting ready for it, but loves it nonetheless. She has been busy working and at the same time buying presents, mailing Christmas cards and cooking. Me I just nap and drink beer. I am a good cook (no brag, just fact), scratch pies, cakes and breads and balanced meals, whatever that means. I have even quit using lard because Nancy is worried about the size of her butt. To me if it ain't fried it isn't worth eating, but I have quit doing that to keep my wonderful brides body in proper perspective for her next husband after I am dead.

    Nancy has been making cookies, time consuming and arduous. She doesn't make just a couple of kinds. Noooooooooo! She has to make 6-8 different kinds, or more. God there is cookies coming out our ears she is wrapping for friends and relatives. Here is why she is mad. I DON'T DO COOKIES! She asked me to make some. I refused. Manure hit the fan. Not speaking. Refuses to do my laundry. Normal wifey mad at ya kind of thing. She even refused to help me understand the new camera. That's why it is still in the UPS box. She knows I can't figure it out without her help.

    I don't eat cookies. I don't like cookies. They don't go good with beer. I don't drink milk. I don't drink coffee. Just beer and an occasional sip of water. If I don't like something I don't put my heart and soul into making it. Turns out a flop. She can't understand that. Ergo, fight.

    I just don't understand why women like to fight so much.

    So Cheryl. When you come down off your high horse and put your avatar back up I will too. (fingers crossed) Merry Christmas Dear. I don't know where CatscratchFever is either. Man, people come and go around here don't they? That is why it is better to be anonymous.

    Postbeetlejuice: Yes I liked that movie Cheryl. Don't know where I explained my handle. Will try and find it for ya. I am curious as to what I said myself.
     
  2. Arkansascatman777

    Arkansascatman777 New Member

    Messages:
    7,782
    State:
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    John, you know you have to be the fox in that picture. The only way that picture could be any better is if he were surrounded with hens:smile2:.

    For me the right amount of beers to start a project is usually 6. By the time I get to 12 i'm usually done, if not by the time i get to 16 i usually forget what i was doing in the first place and will have to repeat the process the following day:wink::smile2:.
     

  3. anchorpuller

    anchorpuller New Member

    Messages:
    857
    State:
    North Caro
    I like this thread. It makes me smile. The reason for my smile this morning is probably one that isn't popular among the fellas. It's all Beetlejuice's fault, though.

    I live in the South. Besides grits, collards are a religion here. I "do not do" collards. I don't like em. I don't like the smell of em. I don't cook em. That is one of very few foods that I will not eat....that and brussel sprouts <gag>

    When I was single and on occasion needed a roommate for financial survival, I had a list of requirements. One of those was that if they had to cook collards, it must be done in the yard. I would rather a bull poop in the living room than have collards cooking in the kitchen.

    Somewhere in the love cycle, I relented. He loves collards. I love him. I knew he was growing tired of my green beans. He turned his nose up at my broccoli and cauliflower. He thought artichokes were a tool to be used in the garage and refused to believe otherwise.

    I decided to tryyyyy. He didn't ask me to. He asked his sister to bring him some. That did it. I had to be capable of cooking some dam leaves. I got out the cookbooks. I watched his father do em. I thought that it couldn't be that hard to do, and of course, they had to be better than his sisters.

    I will not go into the gory details of my cooking them things. The house stunk for days. The kitchen looked like a cow blew it's cud in there. My dear husband doesn't even hint at the desire for collards anymore.

    okay... one detail. My dear friend told me that she used her washing machine to wash the things. They are a pain in the butt to wash; each leaf, rubbed down in the sink to get all the sand and bugs off of them. The washer sounded easier. This is the same friend that tried to milk a bull. Need I say more?

    They sell them in the can now. I buy a can on occasion. He never complains.

    'scuse me while I go put together some white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies.

    Beetlebaby.. quit pouting about yer camera. Go sling some flour on the kitchen walls. Mix some with a little water. Make a dough. Burn a few balls of dough. Nancy will love you.
     
  4. splitshot

    splitshot New Member

    Messages:
    2,827
    State:
    Coxsakie,N.Y.
    That was a funny post Laura. The one thing that i refuse to eat is okra. It was my fathers favorite veggie, fried or boiled we had it at least four times a week.That stuff would gag a maggot!! The day i barfed on the kitchen table was the last time my Dad insisted i eat my okra.
     
  5. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Messages:
    6,598
    State:
    Iowa
    God, I luv this place. This is better than having friends.

    Johnny. Every job I do is by the beer count. Let's see (repair door) 3 beers. OK, fix window (4 beers). Cut brush in North fence line (8 beers). Spay dog (one beer). Nancy can tell how long I will be gone by how many beers I take. It is those 30 beer jobs that give me trouble. I spread those over 2 days. Sometimes even I can't stand up.

    Laura. God you a funny woman. I liked your collard story. I can relate, like Splitshot. I have the same problem with Okra too. I am Boheme, something close to collards is cabbage. Bohemes eat cabbage more than Polacks do. You could tell a Boheme house from a Mile away.

    Splitshot. I got this special Okra recipe handed down from General Lee. Guaranteed to help you lose a war.

    Sharon. Do you know how to run a digital camera. I'll make some cookies for you.

    Cheryl. Where the Hades are ya?

    Boots. I like your picture. I can think of three words to describe it.

    Where is Reload? He must be in Rehab, reloading.

    Does anybody else read this thread? The guy who started it has dropped off the face of the earth.

    Kat steals all our lines and gives them to Jay Leno. Jay needs them because of the strike.
     
  6. SHARON FLEMING

    SHARON FLEMING New Member

    Messages:
    478
    State:
    IOWA
    I probably should not post this but every time I think about I have to laugh

    I come from a family of 9 and I only have 2 sisters left, so we try and go to lunch once a month and at Christmas time we also take in a movie.

    Yesterday was our day and we went to have a nice lunch and then to the movie. It was a 1:30 showing and we got there a few minutes early, as we entered the movie we had chosen, we noticed that there were only about 4 other couples and this really huge man (I really don't know how he fit in the seat.)
    As we sat there talking and waiting for the show to start, all of a sudden there was this smell and I told my sisters "boy they must have a sewer like somewhere in the building.

    Then we heard this rumble and my 80 yr old sister said "my gosh listen to it thunder" and then this awful smell came seeping up to where we were sitting, I noticed that the couple sitting in the asle behind and to the right of the big guy got up and moved down in front of him about 4 rows. I knew what had happened and for some unknown reason I got the giggles, I was sitting in between the two of them(thats how they controlled me when I was little) The 80 yrs old smacked me in the back of the head and the 74 yr old one jabbed me in the ribs and said "if you don't stop that we are going home" That just made me giggle all the more and then the rumbling started again and the people closet to him was eating popcorn and all of a sudden she got up ran out to the aisle with her hands over her mouth, I am sorry but I couldn't help it and I just busted out laughing, this really pissed my sisters off and they smacked me in the head again. Well by this time I could not stop laughing and every time I tried I laughed that much harder, the third time the rumblng started I was holding my scarf upto my mouth to keep the laughter in. A guy in the front turned to the big guy and said Do you need to change your shorts? that ended it for me, I told my sisters I would waite for them in the snack bar area, after about a half hour later here they come, they said "we couldn't enjoy the move so we left" as we started to leave they both smacked me on the ahead again, I just stopped and yelled "I AM GOING TO TELL MOM ON YOU" (that was what I always said when I wanted to get them in trouble with Mom ( I know she was looking down on us and shaking her head and saying "Sharon, Sharon, Sharon" Well the 2 old bats finally started to laugh and here were three old women walking across the parking lot laughing our heads off. What a family! I still don't know why that was so funny to me, my husband was even embassed when I told him what happened.

    When I dropped the first sister off at her house, she looked at me and said "We still can't take you anywhere" and of course that started it all over again

    Sorry this is so long but I thought if I wrote it down I could stop laughing
    hee hee hee it didn't work
    Naughter little sister Sharon

    :cry::big_smile_2::waaaht:
     
  7. baitchunker

    baitchunker New Member

    Messages:
    1,689
    State:
    alabama
    suuuuupeeeeeeeerrrrrr


    cookies:

    i upset Amy on the subject of cookies just 2 days ago. she made me "special" cookies with a chocolate syrup/orange marmalade sauce covered in sliced almonds. i get the sweats just thinking about them. i dont really like cookies too much either. they really dont go well with beer. occasionally i will put some oreo's in a bowl and pour milk on them, then eat it like cereal. but that really is few and far between.

    i dont get yall folks who dont like collards and okra and cabbage and whatnot. i have allways liked my veggie's... not as much as a big bleedin piece of meat. but, i do like them. i think you appreciate them more if you have ever been assigned gardening chores as a child.

    Christmas shopping. eeeeeeeewwwwwwww.... i got off of work early yesterday. got my fresh clean haircut (one of my biggest joys in life-i might not shave for a week but that haircut thing is religeous). picked up Amy for her lunch and set out to do some shopping for her presents. (everyone else can buy thier own crap) b4 i got started braving the local outdoor mall, i stopped at the bar and grill for a bottle of ice cold courage. (women shopping can be dangerous) i ran into 2 guys i served with that have moved down here from various parts of the country. (we are very close) they were with 3 females, one with a new set of... ummm... "frontal hardware". eventually, we all parted ways and off i went. 1st stop V.'s secret. because amy is growing bigger uhh... you know, thanks to the baby. i stood in line for 10 min. b4 the girl behind the counter looked at me and said "sir, we are all out of gift cards". the other 40 ppl (hot young ladies) all turned around and stared at me. i knew i was done for. so off i went to find her a rocking chair/glider (rocking baby to sleepy sleep). no luck. i actually had to put my name on a piece of paper to reserve one from the new shipment at cracker barrel... not exactly what i had in mind, but it'll do. then off to find stocking stuffers. the fishing lures didnt go over so well last year (even though she likes to fish?) so i decided to get something else.

    i got home at about 10:30 last night. all i had to show for the 10 miles of store room rioting was a 6 pack of beer and 3 movies. "bridge to tarabithia"
    "dumbo" and of course "old yeller".

    i think as they say in scottland "i'm all fooked up".
     
  8. Kat-tamer

    Kat-tamer New Member

    Messages:
    875
    State:
    Missouri
    COOKIES??? I love cookies, so does my behind. :sad2: I don't mind making them,I hate cooking them. Get tired of put a batch in, wait, take it out, wait for pan to cool, put another batch in, wait. You get the picture.

    Hate most of those vegies. I only like green beans & corn.

    Sharon,
    That is the funniest thing. I can't stop giggling now.

    Upchunker,
    learn to shop, and learn to shop early. You think it's hard to shop for your wife (she would probably take a handwritten love note over something storebought) Wait till ya gotta buy for a child. :angry: You WILL get what they want, you will drive miles if ya have to, just so you can be SANTA CLAUS!
    Hard to explain why santa didn't get what they asked for.:crazy:

    Beetlejuice,
    Leno needs to pay better, I'm broke.:smile2:
     
  9. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,010
    State:
    TN
    Beetlejuice,

    I'm baking cookies.............:tounge_out:

    Sharon,

    That story actually made me :smile2: LOL.
     
  10. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,010
    State:
    TN
    John,

    What do you mean you can't eat cookies with beer? Any real beer drinker can even eat chocolate, while drinking. :eek:oooh:

    Here is a simple cookie recipe that even you can make, and might even like with your sip of water.

    Ting-a- lings or Spider cookies

    TING-A-LINGS

    12 oz. chocolate chips
    12 oz. butterscotch chips
    2 c. Chow Mein noodles
    2 c. cashews

    Melt chocolate chips and butterscotch chips together. Stir in noodles and cashews. Drop by spoonfuls on waxed paper. Cool to harden. Remove from paper and store in covered container.

    I always made chocolate without the butterscotch. Should take you about 10 min. and you're done. Now the noodles and cashews go with beer, not sure about butterscotch, although it has part of a liquor word in it.

    Thought about making a thread called, 'Things I wouldn't eat', but never got around to it. So here's a list.

    Caviar
    Squirrel brains (or any brains, come to think of it)
    Snails
    Roaches
    Cauliflower
    Asparagus
    Possum
    Groundhog
    Rats

    Well that's enough for now.
    How about y'all?
    Anything you wouldn't eat?
     
  11. baitchunker

    baitchunker New Member

    Messages:
    1,689
    State:
    alabama
    believe it or not......................................................................


    the only thing on your list i havent eaten is possom. the squirrel brains were fried with some eggs and grits. the raches were barbequed with grasshoppers and rhino beetles.
     
  12. Kat-tamer

    Kat-tamer New Member

    Messages:
    875
    State:
    Missouri
    The list of things I WILL eat is shorter!!!:smile2:
     
  13. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,010
    State:
    TN
    Mine too, Shelia! Much like you I'm not much of a veggie eater, and for years even beef. Not sure what I ate, come to think of it.........

    J.D. I believe you. I've heard possum is greasy? Don't know and don't want to know. I'd like to taste bear...........heard it was a sweet meat from a sister over the hills in NC. She loves it.
    Didn't you crack the skull open to eat those squirrel brains? Dad used to.
     
  14. Arkansascatman777

    Arkansascatman777 New Member

    Messages:
    7,782
    State:
    AR
    Caviar - I've never tried it but probably would at least one time. The closest i have came is fried fish eggs. When they are bright yellow roll them in corn meal and deep fry them and they taste similar to corn bread.

    Squirrel brains (or any brains, come to think of it) - Squirrel brains are delicious either fried or boiled. The cheek meet and the toungue are also pretty good. Calf brains and scrambled eggs with wild onions is a pretty good breakfast.

    Snails,Roaches and Rats - Now those three are just nasty:eek:oooh::smile2:.


    Cauliflower - didn't use to like califlower but now i like it just as well as asparagus and brocali with melted cheese over the top.

    Possum - Possum is good but it and coon you need to bake and eat it when it's hot.

    Groundhog - I,ve ate ground hog when i was a kid but i can't remember what it tasted like. Now beaver is delicious, if someone didn't tell you what it was and you ate a peice you would think you were eating beef roast.

    Bear meat is also delicious if you ever get a chance to try some.

    About the only thing i won't eat is prunes, how can people stand to eat those things.

    There was 9 of us kids growing up so we ate pretty much what we grew, killed, raised or caught so i'm not a picky eater. But i still never seen hard enough times to eat Snails,Roaches or Rats :wink::eek:oooh::smile2:.
     
  15. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Messages:
    6,598
    State:
    Iowa
    Dobry den! Jmenuji se Janny. Tesi me Cheryl (French), no name in Czech for ya Cheryl. Gonna give you a Czech girls name, eh "Milena". It means "Gracious".

    dekuzi= thank you. Thank you for putting your avatar back. I, Janny, will do the same. I couldn't find many where I had clothes on, so I brought up the one you see. Ain't the best, but neither am I.

    Let's celebrate. Dam si jedno pivo prosim. (I'll have a beer) Cosi date, Milena? (What will you have?) Then, Smim prosit? (Would you like to dance? No boogie, my back can't handle it anymore.)

    Ya gotta pronounce these words like you have a mouthful of bullfrogs, Czech. is a palate language. You got to have a good tongue. Gotta take your tongue jewelery out.

    Na sheledanou, Janny!

    I'd give you a bunch of cuss words, Milena, but I am sure at least one of these moderators is Slavic, probably Mossydade. He looks like he eats Kolaches. Speaking of eating sometime I'll come back to this thread today and see what else you guys try and poison your bodies with. Used to see a lot of cockroaches in Chicago, but I never thought about eating them, just stepping on them.

    Janny.
     
  16. SHARON FLEMING

    SHARON FLEMING New Member

    Messages:
    478
    State:
    IOWA
    The only vegetables I will eat are corn,peas and carrots.
    As far as meat goes I want it to moo, oink or cackle, I also want a stamp on it.
    I won,t put any type of organs in my mouth, my Dad worked the afternoon shift and any time he could talk Mom into it, he would take a fired brain sandwich to work. Lovely smell to come home to after school.

    :bad_smelly:
    George will eat anything and he likes everything, not a hard man to cook for.
    When anyone ask what my favorite food is, I always say JUNK, I am not a very healthy eater.

    John, who's picture did you steal for your avatar? Yes I can operate a digital camera.

    Sharon
     
  17. baitchunker

    baitchunker New Member

    Messages:
    1,689
    State:
    alabama
    the only reason i ate the bugs and rats was various experiences with foriegn cultures. (thailand jungle). the rats were a product of mexico.
     
  18. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,010
    State:
    TN
    Janny,

    Thanks for the avatar. Your right hand appears to be missing the beer. Notice how it is posed? Ahh, I'll have a Mountain Dew, although I'm not suppose to have that either. Gotta have something with caffeine. Was that taken with the new digital?

    Milena

    P.S. More things I won't eat..............

    cat (once had a Chinese daughter who wanted to cook them. She's no longer allowed in my house)
    dog
    horse
    buffalo--tried a burger, didn't care for it.
    grits
    goat
    ostrich
    robins
     
  19. kat in the hat

    kat in the hat New Member

    Messages:
    4,875
    State:
    Missouri
    Cheryl, littleman will take all the robins you can kill. They are delicacy in his neighborhood. Me, I'll eat just about anything that doesn't eat me first. I have never intentionally eaten an insect or arachnid. Rabbits and squirrels are rodents. One rodent is as good as another, so if I HAD to, I would eat a rat. Possum ain't bad if it's cooked right. I don't know how well rodents and marsupials would go over with Sheila and Coltan, so I don't hunt them anymore. Probably the grossest thing that I've eaten was baked squid. YUK!!! I think that even if I was starving to death, I would eat insects, worms, grasses, bark, or even soil before I would eat baked squid again. It would probably be better eaten raw, and alive.
     
  20. catfish kenny

    catfish kenny New Member

    Messages:
    6,064
    State:
    Iowa
    One thing my mom use to make was fried hog brains and it smelled like what comes up after a night on the town having to much fun but it was delicious,When we lived on a farm when I was way little my two broters would go hunting and tommorow thats what youd...have....turtle ,squirrel..coon possom or deer they bring it home we ate it....I have tried alot of critters and love em if there prepared right
     
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