Pssst, Hey Newbie Pledge (Avatars Cont.)

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by postbeetle, Sep 9, 2009.

  1. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Messages:
    6,598
    State:
    Iowa
    Hello Newbies, welcome to day two's lesson. Avatar necessities. Please review yesterdays tome @. http://www.catfish1.com/forums/showthread.php?t=124055. Let's get out from behind this outhouse, the winds changed.

    we visited about....

    Waders
    Rods
    Reels
    Tackle
    Guns
    Knives

    Today we will talk about.....

    Thumpers (aka The Executioner): Gotta have one of these handy, if not in your avatar then some place in a convenient location. The one I carry in my avatar is a pick axe handle. Hefty solid white oak. Has some length to it because I am a little guy and I need the reach. These dispatch everything from gar to catfish to coons if ya run a trap line, efficiently and humanely. Keeps PETA off your rear. They can also be used to break the windows out some guys car that parked in your favorite place at the fishing hole you inhabit.

    Bale Hook (aka Longshoresmans Middle Finger). This is a specialty item often not considered. If you are a meat fisherman and not into Catch And Release or Leave 'Em Alive For The Next Guy to Kill they are handy dandy tools. With practice you can gaff, swing and stack catfish quicker than than you can stack cord-wood. They will land about anything you can catch, including that tree limb you are wrapped around. Save all those tree limbs for your shore lunch.

    Secret Duffels: A must. This is a bag you pack before leaving the house at 9:30 PM. Put the stinkiest, rottenest clothes in it you can find. If you don't catch fish or don't get dirty you can put these on before you get home and your wife won't think you have been sitting in the bar all night with your girlfriend. You guys can figure out what other stuff you want to put in there that might come in handy. Kinda like a woman's purse.

    Cooler: These are kinda like the tackle boxes we talked about in the other thread. This is really the reason to go fishing. Gotta have at least two. One that will hold a 30 pack of your favorite malt beverage and one that will hold at least thirty lbs of chicken livers.

    Avatar faces: This is the nitty-gritty of your staying a member and not getting thrown off or laughed at. You got's to have a full face picture. If you only got half a face you are in trouble. This can be tricky but if you are good at photo shopping you can insert a truly handsome face like my avatar. Makes what few girls that are on here swoon and nobody will know you are really as ugly as a pigs rear-end.

    Good, lesson two in the tank. take a break and wipe the sweat off your brow. Tomorrow we will talk about Catfish or something that looks like a fish in the avatars. We probably will throw in a short discussion of women members. We will mention some things about the training manual you were issued and should have by now memorized. Maybe we will talk a little about how to dyn-no-mite a good hole.

    Later.
     
  2. Dirtdobber

    Dirtdobber Guest Staff Member

    Messages:
    3,584
    State:
    Vian Okla
    Dang PB I was just gettin over yesterdays lesson, now I have to start over with photo shop and a trip the the hardware store.:eek:oooh:
     

  3. Mickey

    Mickey New Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    14,592
    State:
    Illinois
     
  4. bluejay

    bluejay Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    8,502
    State:
    Napoleon, Mo.
    I feel like i'm getting schooled. Keep it up!!
     
  5. jdstraka

    jdstraka Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    4,720
    State:
    Council Bluffs, Iowa
    Name:
    John
    Way to go Posterbeetle for teachin all our Newbie Brothers and Sisters the fine art of being a died in the wool real catfisher person.But a word of caution, don't go telling them the way us Iowa boys clean out the neighbors ponds of catfish with our Gernades OK,cause some things is Sacred.And remember Newbies You will be expected to pass a test at the end of your schooling.And for an added incentive to do good the Top 5% of the class will get to hang around with Postbeetle and Myself and fetch us Beers and bait our hooks,load and unload all our gear and stuff like that OK. :wink: Later J.D.
     
  6. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Messages:
    7,680
    State:
    Shawnee OK
    never thought John would become a company man.............assimilation is a wonderful thing, ain't it?:0a10:
     
  7. 223reload

    223reload New Member

    Messages:
    10,798
    State:
    Oklahoma
    Once again the wiz has spoken,:wink: and that aint short fer wizard:crazy:
     
  8. medic

    medic New Member

    Messages:
    11
    State:
    Georgia
    Thank you Sir for the education...
     
  9. boswifedeb

    boswifedeb USCA Jailhouse Lawyer

    Messages:
    13,829
    State:
    Tennessee
    Name:
    Debbie
    PB, don't forget to tell them that the newbies are responsible for filling the coolers!:wink:
     
  10. Ol Man

    Ol Man New Member

    Messages:
    3,170
    State:
    Illinois
    I don't know... I used to go behind the barn to wiz...:smile2:
     
  11. Catgirl

    Catgirl New Member

    Messages:
    13,546
    Really? I thought that's where they took ya to give you a whuppin' Jeb. OH WAIT, maybe that was the wood shed. :confused2:
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2009
  12. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Messages:
    7,680
    State:
    Shawnee OK
    me too.....but now i go in front of it...getting old has its benefits:wink:

    saves some walking:smile2: