Police Humor

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Angelkitty, Feb 22, 2008.

  1. Angelkitty

    Angelkitty New Member

    Messages:
    1,670
    State:
    Sheridan, Ar
    These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

    #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."

    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

    # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because t hat's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

    #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we' re allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

    #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

    AND THE WINNER IS....


    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
     
  2. bluejay

    bluejay Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    8,493
    State:
    Napoleon, Mo.
    Some good ones in there. Thanks.
     

  3. plainsman

    plainsman New Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    7,187
    State:
    minnesota
    Even in a bad mood, they still got a sense of humor
     
  4. big-muddy

    big-muddy New Member

    Messages:
    1,834
    State:
    norfolk, va
    ha ha! thats some good stuff
     
  5. Mickey

    Mickey New Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    14,592
    State:
    Illinois
    Thanks Patricia for some good ones. I liked #5.:smile2:
     
  6. john catfish young

    john catfish young New Member

    Messages:
    3,070
    State:
    Kentucky
    yep...those are some good ones..thanks
     
  7. yadkinrivercats

    yadkinrivercats Member

    Messages:
    330
    State:
    mocksville,n.c.
    Those are some good ones Thanks
     
  8. catfishcrazy256

    catfishcrazy256 New Member

    Messages:
    2,648
    State:
    Indiana
    some good stuff there Patrica :smile2:
     
  9. fmac

    fmac New Member

    Messages:
    8
    State:
    Indiana
    nice fish carfishcrazy.
     
  10. krowbar

    krowbar New Member

    Messages:
    664
    State:
    South Caro
    hahahaha i have heard a couple of those myself
     
  11. Angelkitty

    Angelkitty New Member

    Messages:
    1,670
    State:
    Sheridan, Ar
    welcome to the BOC from Arkansas.
     
  12. ozzy

    ozzy New Member

    Messages:
    3,936
    State:
    Lost Wages
    And my favorite.

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"