Opening an industrial sized can of whoop butt

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Salthart, Nov 23, 2009.

  1. Salthart

    Salthart New Member

    North Carolina
    This is not a joke. I changed things like the automobiles involved but the main theme of the story is pretty much just the way it happened.

    One day a friend of mine was sitting on his front porch when he heard engines racing, metal screaming and horns blowing. His interest on full alert, he turns and looks up the long straight away with a sweeping uphill grade and a long sweeping curve that took the road around the bend and down the hill out of sight.

    Being well back off the beaten path, there was no doubt where the noise was coming from and sure enough, An old dump truck came in sight and then a small rice burner pick-up truck running along side the dump truck.

    The two trucks would swap paint and the two drivers would yell and shake fists etc. A fight was coming and about the time my friend understood this, the dump truck had hit the end of the curve and pulled off the side of the road. This put him something close to 100 yards away from my friend..

    The small truck stopped and a small man jumped out. The wind was right and the pavement etc was such that every word said was carried to my friend quite clearly. Another thing was clear to see. The man behind the wheel of the dump truck was a big bear of a man. But that didn't slow the little man down in the least.

    He bounced up on the running board of that dump truck and stuck his finger in the face of the truck driver and the reason became clear to my friend who was picking up his phone to call the sheriff. This "Big man" had made advances on the little man's wife and when she refused him he tried hitting her. Her screams had been heard by people next door who came running and the "Big man" left the scene. ( all this put together by my friend from what was actually said ) my friend put down the phone.

    About this time "Big man" decided he had had enough and was going to clean the clock of this little guy. He leans back and a big ham fist come through the window and catches the little guy full in the face and knocks him off the truck where he back peddles and falls till he is half across the yellow line in the road. But as soon as he lands, he is trying to get up.

    Before he can get up the "Big man" is out of the truck and on him. And as this guy is beating the snot out of the small guy, My friend is again reaching for the phone and wondering if he is gonna have to get his gun and stop this bear from killing the little guy because the cops aren't going to get here in time to save him.

    But he could see that even as he was getting the crap beat out of him, the little guy wasn't done yet. He was reaching into his pocket and the big guy was so busy beating that he had not noticed. My friend said he could just see the little guy coming out with a knife and spilling guts all over the road and was about to dial 911 for an ambulance when the little guy comes out of his pocket with not a knife, but a can of whoop-a$$ !

    Now my friend did not know that whoop-a$$ was what he was seeing at first. He thought it was just a bottle of pepper spray. But the little guy got his arm up through all those fists somehow and one little squirt was all it took to stop the fists..

    While the big man screamed and cried like a baby, the little guy didn't even whimper. He walked over and sat down on the running board of the dump truck and went to work on getting all the blood to stop running from his nose and mouth etc..

    When the big guy gets quiet and starts to act like he is getting over the pepper spray, THe little guy stands up, Shakes up the bottle and walks over, grabs the bear by the hair of his head and yanks his head back, takes the spray bottle, points it up the bear's nose and sprays !

    The screaming and crying starts up again but this time, while he is screaming, he is getting what he gave.. In SPADES ! The little guy beats him until he is exhausted and sits on the running board trying hard to catch his breath as the "Big man" wallows in the road crying.

    When he catches his breath, the little guy repetes the process. But he looks at his knuckles with the hide beat off em and gives a shrug and starts kicking the fool out of the bear.

    My friend calls the 911 and starts heading up the hill to stop things before the little guy kills the bear. But as he is walking the little guy is starting to deliver the next load of butt stomping. He grabs "Big man's" hair and sprays up the nose again but gets a funny look on his face and shakes the bottle and throws it down. Empty.. Save for the first spray, every drop of that bottle went up the nose of the big guy.

    Leaving the big man in the road, the little guy gets in his truck and makes a 3 point turn and drives away. My friend gets about 100 feet from the big guy and finds his bottom dentures in the road. The top ones are about 20 feet up the road.

    He helps the big guy to his feet. All 6 foot 5 or six and maybe 325 pounds of him and gets him over to the truck where he sits till the ambulance gets there and take "Big man" away.

    He never heard if the guy lived or not. But said if he didn't have his guts all busted up he didn't know how. And thats not even counting all the pepper in his lungs.
    I just figured some of you might enjoy hearing about some big bully getting his just rewards at least once in this life..
  2. kenlaw76

    kenlaw76 Well-Known Member

    S.E. Pa.
    That's crazy! LOL Good thing he didn't live in my area or that pepper spray would have been a gun. Taht's one thing about Philly, if you get into a confertation like that you better be prepared to kill the dude or you could get shot real quick. Thanks for the story. It is always funny to hear about a little guy whipping the snot out of a big guy.

  3. SouthGADan

    SouthGADan New Member

    Lyons, GA
    I reckon that little feller found his equalizer. :smile2:
  4. GrandpaGoneFishing

    GrandpaGoneFishing Well-Known Member

    Linn Valley, Ks
    Great post, gotto watch them little guys. Some of them will go were they need to, to take care that kinda crap. Great Post . Thanks
  5. 223reload

    223reload New Member

    Yuppers,My liscence plate on the front of my truck says...."I dont get mad,I get EVEN":wink:
  6. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Excellent and a nice post to boot. Thanks SaltyDog.
  7. restorerancientiron

    restorerancientiron New Member

    Cadiz, KY
    I got to watch a big ole can of whoop butt opened up one time in Dover , Tn.Me and a friend was down there sitting across from the dairy bar watching the ladies drive by.All of a sudden you see a small ford ranger slide to a stop as a big 4X4 chevy blocks his path.Two guys jump out of the big truck and start beating the crap out of the guy in the ranger.About the time me and a buddy decide we better go and try and stop the beat down , the guy makes it to his truck and locks the doors.About the time he gets the ranger started one of the guys breaks the window and starts pulling the guy back out.It was dark but when they pulled him out we could see he had a peice of rope or something in his hand.The guy would swing wildly and you could tell that the rope would sometimes get caught on the guys clothes and he would have to jerk to get it free.It didn't take long to tell by the screams that it wasn't a rope in his hands.When they pulled the guy out of his truck he had a chainsaw blade in his hand.I still don't know what the fight was about but I have never seen that much blood from a fight to this day and that was over 20 years ago.
  8. Boomer

    Boomer New Member

    One of my friends got jumped by 2 guys, he still to this day does not know for what. I think they thought he was someone else since we live about 30 miles away from the town. Bust up a couple of ribs and knocked a couple of teeth loose, black eye, he was a mess for about a month. I asked him if he want some help, he said no he would handle it, this guy weighed about 130 lbs wet.

    Every weekend he went back on Saturday night. He found one of the guys, and followed him home. The guy was pretty drunk, my buddy had one of those small Louisville Slugger, it was about 1 1/2 feet long, and he had leaded the end of it, and put a leather thong around the handle. He let the guy get good and asleep and then threw a rock through the picture window on beside the door, the guy stepped out and justice was served. :smile2:, he never did find the other guy, guess after what happened to his compadre, he figured that town wasnt a good place after all.
  9. Kutter

    Kutter New Member

    Arnold, MO
    There is only one rule in any fight. Somebody wins, somebody loses. Don't be confused thinking "round one" is the whole fight. (As Boomers friend understood)

    Only getting "even" is, well, rather boring. Never, ever, tell what you did.
  10. Welder

    Welder New Member

    I learned along time ago it ant the size of the dog its the size of the fight in the dog.