One scared BOC member

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by silverbell, Apr 4, 2006.

  1. silverbell

    silverbell New Member

    Messages:
    74
    State:
    AZ
    Several months ago I moved out of my Juliet's house. Again. This was not the first or second time. Not even the third or fourth time I had moved out. I think it would have been the 6th time.

    The reason for leaving was not because she cheated on me, or restricted my movements, or I fell out of love. It was because she would bug me to death to do things. Or tell me when I needed to get up.

    Even though I still love her and would die to protect her I just did not want to deal with what she wanted me to do.

    What in Gods green earth was she asking me to do you might ask?

    It was things like pick up the dog poop, help me with the dishes, help get the kids ready for school, help empty the trash, pick up after yourself and don't sleep in till noon and so on.

    What! You might say.

    I was more into playing on the computer, sleeping in, or just being stubborn.

    You see I don't have a regular job I go to. I own my own business dealing with Internet sales. To be honest I could complete all of my work in 1/2 hour a day and bring in good money.

    So what did I do with the other 12-15 hours of my day? I wish I could answer that.

    It was not until recently I woke up to see what I was doing to her and our children.

    The wake up call was created by a very special kiss she gave me. It was as if our souls were one. Well into the evening I was still shaking.

    For some reason within days several barriers I had put up fell down and I was able to see more clearly. I began to plan out how I would win her trust back. I began to set up a plan to improve myself.


    I have not seen her in several weeks. She is on vacation with our children and her parents. I sent off a couple emails to her to explain that I love her and want to win her back.

    Well here is why I am scared. I will see her tomorrow when I pick her up from the airport. I will be able to look into her eyes and will be able to tell if she is thinking about what I have offered. Or I might see that it is to late and I have hurt her to much for her to ever trust me again.

    I am not expecting her to say everything is just peachy king between us. I would not want that. I just hope that when I see her tomorrow her eyes tell me that she is still in love with me and is willing to let me show her my new ways.
     
  2. redneckdrum

    redneckdrum New Member

    Messages:
    623
    State:
    kansas
    A lot of prayer's goin' to ya from Kansas.Keep us posted.
     

  3. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Messages:
    7,680
    State:
    Shawnee OK
    get off of the damn computer and take care of the only thing that you will ever have that is important in life
     
  4. Cyclops01

    Cyclops01 New Member

    Messages:
    578
    State:
    Eden, NC.
    Sean,

    What more can ya do brother? Just keep the faith and show her some good faith. Take it a day at a time.

    Mike
     
  5. explayer

    explayer New Member

    Messages:
    372
    State:
    Tucson AZ
    Sean

    I know we have kind talk about when we have fish togther but I know that you can do this and I think you can win her back but it is going tobe tuff just don't give up buddy if you need any thing just call me
     
  6. slabmaster

    slabmaster New Member

    Messages:
    719
    State:
    missouri
    if you can do the job you have know in a half hour you might need another one. as much as we gripe about work it really is good for us.if she is going to a day job and your messing around on the computer you will continue to have problems.i use to think helping around the house wasnt an option. now i help as much as i can and home is much more peaceful.thru many years of trial and error i have found that if she is happy , i am happy. it sucks but thats the way it is.
     
  7. Bubbakat

    Bubbakat New Member

    Messages:
    4,532
    State:
    McMinnvill
    Well I try to stay out of posts like this because I even though been married to the same woman for 37 years could not with all honesty say the right thing to help.
    I can see where you come to your senses and saw your self for what it was and hope that she still loves you. You keep on with that computer or being the ,well you fill in the blank, That you were. Then she is going to make 2 moves on you.
    She will hit your key and it will be ALT-DELETE.
     
  8. Dreadnaught

    Dreadnaught New Member

    Messages:
    5,444
    State:
    Henderson,Ky
    I have been married to my wife for 22yrs and I still get those demands from her, LOL!!! These are part of life man. She shouldn't have to do all of that herself, you should be helping out some yourself!!! I am not trying to come down heavy on you, but it seems like you don't help out much around the house, and that just aint right. I hope you can realize what you are doing and straighten it out before it is too late. Best of luck to you brother.
     
  9. Catbird

    Catbird New Member

    Messages:
    294
    State:
    Fayetteville, Ohio
    When she gets back, be sure the following is done:

    It was things like pick up the dog poop, help me with the dishes, help get the kids ready for school, help empty the trash, pick up after yourself and don't sleep in till noon and so on.

    Good luck! Sometimes a good second impression will go a long way.
     
  10. T-Bone

    T-Bone New Member

    Messages:
    1,125
    State:
    South of Dallas
    Hope it all works out for both of y'all dude. It sucks to wake up and know it was you and nothing else. Shake it off and show her you mean what ya say. Don't try to prove to her, just show her. Y'all have kids together and she knows and you know ya will be seeing each other from time to time so make the best out of these times and let her come to you.
    Better yet. Disregaurd this post cause I ain't no match maker.....

    Good luck and may the love birds be on your side.
     
  11. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,010
    State:
    TN
    Marriage is a LOT like a job or better yet a flower. Both require work, work, work, with nurturing, giving, taking, LOTS OF LISTENING, bending, understanding, cherishing and did I mention lots of listening? Don't forget forgiveness. First to forgive, you must forgive yourself. The list goes on but it is work. Nothing comes easy in life and love and marriage falls in that category too. Compared to a flower, then a woman needs sunshine and water, perhaps a little fertilizer every once in a while. If any of this makes sense and you want more advice, then PM me.

    P.S. I have to ask, are you just tired of cleaning up after yourself and doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry? If that is ANY part of the reason, it's not enough...........take care and best of luck to you and her. Keep us posted.
     
  12. FS Driver

    FS Driver New Member

    Messages:
    2,323
    State:
    swansea,illinoi
    although i envy your job ( i would love that job )

    i work 6 days a week no paid vacation etc.
    and i wash dirty dishes ive picked up the dog crap a few times

    i have kids that do that thats what they are for LOl dog crap picker-uppers:p

    i will run a vaccum now and then and fold and hang clothes
    even wash my own clothes its easy all the clothes go in and put some white detergent powder in turn on extra soak and go .

    im secure in wearing pink underwear and socks :rolleyes:

    i am on here way to much but i put 48 hrs in too so i got a little more
    reason to be screwin off in the evening . i could be blowin money in a bar.

    my point is i think you oughta make an effort to help her out more alot more. sorry if that aint what you wanted to hear,
    you posted it ,not me
     
  13. safetybass

    safetybass New Member

    Messages:
    299
    State:
    Missouri
    My wife and I have been through the "You don't help out around here enough" phase, and we have moved on. I know I don't help out as much as I should, but I do help out and she appreciates it. Effort counts. Effort is appreciated. Just don't brag to her about what you've done to help her.

    The most important thing is to demonstrate you do love her by understanding her concern and accomodating her. It sounds like you have the time. Invest a chunk of time in your relationship by doing the things she has asked. That action will demonstrate your commitment to her.
     
  14. Itch2Scratch

    Itch2Scratch New Member

    Messages:
    1,662
    State:
    Ivy Bend on LOZ, Missouri
    Life is full of responsibilities...one of the biggest and sometimes the hardest is to work hard at your relationship...I wish you well in that.;)
     
  15. JimF

    JimF New Member

    Messages:
    151
    State:
    IL
    Other than the moving out and the good payin' 1/2 hr a day job. I could have started this tread. I didn't do shi) around the house. I figured whats the worst that could happen...Well lets see.. lots of fighting, divorce, living by myself, some other guy sleeping with the woman I love, him raising my kids!!! Thats the part that got me, I know that SOB would raise my son to be a BASS fisherman. I don't know about you, but I can't let that happen. My father would roll over in his grave if his grandson was a BASS fisherman. So I do some dishes, sweep the floor, take the trash out to the curb and sometimes after the kids go to bed, we turn the lights out and remind each other that we are still in love. Its a beautiful thing. Atleast to me... she may not think so cause I'm kind of a fat basturd. Its a wonder I haven't broke one of her ribs or something. LOL
     
  16. FishMan

    FishMan New Member

    Messages:
    2,293
    State:
    Tennessee
    She will say, Well it's about time. I've been waiting on you to catch up.

    Good luck

    Danny
     
  17. Deltalover

    Deltalover New Member

    Messages:
    1,227
    State:
    Tracy Calif
    It's give and take! Commuinication is the key and without it you have nothing!
    As for picking up the dog crap, I do it and think nothing of it, but if you detest it that much, give these guys a call. DoodyCalls:)
     
  18. NCCatter

    NCCatter Member

    Messages:
    462
    State:
    North Carolina
    I'm glad you started this thread because I am getting married on June 24th and looking forward to it. I needed to read that because she has been on my case about not doin anything to help her plan the wedding(well not much, but some). It helps reassure me that marriage is a two way street in that you have to give more than you take. Sometimes it takes things like this to make us see what we are doing wrong. Think about it-it could be worse. She could have just said forget it and gone on without you, but she didn't. Be thankful for that. Good Luck!!
     
  19. gargoil77

    gargoil77 New Member

    Messages:
    859
    State:
    Clarksville, Indiana
    Sean,
    Good luck too you. I was in a similar position 3 1/2 yrs ago. My wife kicked me out and when that happened I realized where I went wrong. I was a lazy bum. Plus a few other little things. No affairs. Once I realized what I was doing wrong, I fixed them. We got back together after about 7 months of seperation. I was a campletely changed person. I cooked every meal, did the dishes, laundry, stayed home, quit going to Hooters, etc.
    But she never fell back in love w/ me. It wasn't good enough.
    Well anyway I'm not going to ramble. Alls I can say is good luck and do your best (like I did) to make her happy. Hopefully your marriage will work out.
     
  20. SilverCross

    SilverCross New Member

    Messages:
    1,562
    State:
    Fairbury, Illin
    I hope all works out for you. I have a saying that tells a good story. "If mama isn't happy, then nobody is happy." I've been married for 25 yrs now to the one and only wife I will ever have, wouldn't do it again for a million bucks, but love the one I have. I let the dogs in and out, feed them, feed the dumb cats, keep the litter clean, wash dishes, mow the yard, pick up the sticks, run the vacuum, do laundry, all the grocery shopping, pay all the bills, etc, etc. EASY LIFE IS BEING SINGLE. There are two women living here, wife and daughter, seems like I do to much, but then again I pretty much do what I want also, within reason, no fraternizing, but then I would never go out on my wife. But if it wasn't for the wife, I would have been dead a long time ago. Partied way to hard, and rode the skooters and not remembering when or how I got home. I got up in the morning had a big slug of whiskey and then off to work for ten hours, then drunk as a skunk again. I miss the Harley, but can't ride one any more anyways so I fish for kitty's now and have a lot better time, I think, at least I can remember what I do and how I get home. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm just blowing my horn, but it tells a little something about being married. Oh yeah, I pick dog poop up. YUK...lol