Noah in 2006

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Phil Washburn, Jul 18, 2006.

  1. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Messages:
    7,680
    State:
    Shawnee OK
    In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United
    States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
    over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

    Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good
    humans."
    He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark
    before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

    Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -
    but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

    "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
    building permit and I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a
    sprinkler system.

    My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by
    building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

    Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
    future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be
    coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

    Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees
    in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists
    that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

    When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They
    insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued
    the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

    Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an
    environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

    I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on
    how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.
    The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only
    Union workers with Ark-building experience.

    To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to
    leave the country illegally with endangered species.

    So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish
    this Ark."

    Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
    across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not
    going to destroy the world?"
    "No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it ."
     
  2. PeZ

    PeZ New Member

    Messages:
    757
    State:
    Oklahoma
    lol so true sad but true
     

  3. blindfly69

    blindfly69 New Member

    Messages:
    774
    State:
    kentucky
    brother that is the truth and a half right there