My worst experience from the military.

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by peewee williams, Sep 23, 2007.

  1. peewee williams

    peewee williams New Member

    Messages:
    3,111
    State:
    Pembroke,Georgia
    My worst experience or feeling as a vet is that I survived when so many better and more deserving people did not.I feel guilty.Many that did survive may have faired far better had they not survived.I have felt this way for over 40 years now.It is always worst when I have been around folks who I know lost a loved one in the service.I do wonder how many feel as I do.Never thought to ask before.Am I normal,or do I just have another screw loose somewhere?I really can't believe that I wrote this,but I did and this is how I feel.I love you Brothers and Sisters.peewee
     
  2. AwShucks

    AwShucks New Member

    Messages:
    4,532
    State:
    Guthrie, Oklaho
    Although I am not overly religious, I do believe in the Supreme Being. I kind of think it was his choice as to who to take and who to leave. We question him quite a bit in our lives, and never really understand all he is doing. So, I've came to grip with his choice and, selfishly, I must say I am happy with the choice he made in regards to my life.
     

  3. Scott Daw

    Scott Daw New Member

    Messages:
    2,002
    State:
    Allentown, Pennsylvania
    Survivors guilt is normal. Anyone who's experienced the true meaning of life or death can attest to that. Theres nothing bad about questioning it provided your not dwelling on it. If your here, there is a devine reason for it. You shouldnt feel guilty about it, unless you've squandered your 2nd chance in life. If you've made a positive influence on someones life then your serving your purpose and shouldnt feel guilty. You've made a huge contribution to your boc family. You've helped us grow as catters and made us laugh when we need it. If you do this for us on the net, for an electronic family, then Im sure theres lots of folks back home that would truely be saddened by the loss of you in their lives. Stay strong, keep your chin up and your lines tight!
     
  4. poisonpits

    poisonpits Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    9,757
    State:
    arkansas
    Name:
    johnnie
    peewee most if not all survivers feel this way.ive never had the nerve to ask one of my friends that lost a son or husband but ill bet they hold no hard feelings toward you.as for me im glad you are a surviver and look forward to meeting you and shaking your hand and saying thank you from the bottom of my heart.
     
  5. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Messages:
    6,598
    State:
    Iowa
    Peewee, you have framed a feeling I have known for a long time. My Dad served in Two. He was in support, a Cook and Baker in Iceland. He didn't face combat or draw down on anybody. He did see and visit with many who did.

    I asked him one night sitting on the back porch with him why he and many of his friends never talked about the war. He said almost exactly the same as you said. "I am embarrassed to have survived, when so many died. Why talk about something those fallen cannot talk about like you and I are now. I was lucky and they were not. It would be disrespectful to their sacrifice to brag or relive what I did. If I talk about the war you will hear me talk about them and not me." And he left it at that.

    Thank you for stating your feelings. John.
     
  6. richard dunbar

    richard dunbar New Member

    Messages:
    550
    State:
    Washington
    You definently have a screw loose......Just kidding bro. You know me as a modern soldier of todays Army. My great grand father did WWII and Korea, My Uncle did NAM and both at one point during each of those wars each one telling similar stories of situations in wich they found themselves among a low number of survivors in they're Company or Platoon. Each having a guilt upon them for yrs. I too last deployment had a similar situation happen to me where one soldier took my spot on a mission and did'nt come home. This is called survivors guilt its normal to have these feelings. I found out about it because my wife forced me to seek help when I was having bad dreams. What I found out was Its not our fault that by chance or shere intestinal fortitude that we made it past these trying times, it was for the love of our families and wanting more time with them to teach and mentor. To show them the world and the many things we've learned along the way. And its not a concience effort we make to teach its in the stories we tell about the simplest things. Thats why we made it, thats why were here, and thats why we're staying.
     
  7. chambers bd

    chambers bd New Member

    Messages:
    1,134
    State:
    Sautee,Geo
    The Good Lord takes who he chooses.
    The guilt can be over wilming at times.
    To know you worked on someone who was alive when they left your hands only to learn later they died on the flight to the Evac Hospital.
    Pee wee you did nothing wrong, we are glad your with us. It is his will.
    Thank You for your service.
     
  8. SSgt Fishslayer

    SSgt Fishslayer New Member

    Messages:
    1,241
    State:
    south carolina
    i feel the same way you do peewee. its not uncommon, and no there is nothing wrong with you. i know i dont really have as many years under my belt as some of the guys on here, and i dont blame any of you for not really listening to me. but i do know what it is like to have lost friends and fellow Marines in combat. the worst part is coming back and having to look at their family members and know that there is nothing you could have done or nothing you can do to take away thier pain. most dont blame us, we mostly blame ourselves for it, and that is probably harder than someone else doing it for us. you are not alone peewee. i am 26 years old, but i have been completely around the wourld 2 times and i have spent more time overseas in a combat zone then i have in CONUS in my short 8 year career.
     
  9. baitchunker

    baitchunker New Member

    Messages:
    1,689
    State:
    alabama
    you should make an emergency trip to the hardware store to replace your lost screws. but, not on this subject. some ppl call it survicors guilt, i call it a night of no sleep and prolly a 12 pack. best i can tell that feeling never really goes away. its always in the back of your mind waiting for a smell, sound, or song to bring it all back.
    the only peace i feel is knowing that it is all random. you either get shot up/blown up, or you dont. i spent 1 day scared out of my mind. i spent the next 7 months not really givin a shhh. id like to tell ya not to stress on the fact that you are still breathin', war aint that simple. we love you too peewee.