My ex-father-in-law

Discussion in 'Prayer Request' started by gargoil77, Mar 4, 2008.

  1. gargoil77

    gargoil77 New Member

    Messages:
    859
    State:
    Clarksville, Indiana
    My father-in-law is dying and has hrs if not a day or two left to live. He's in a St. Louis hospital. Please pray for him.
    I need prayers also cause my ex called me tonight. It is the first time I talked to her in months. She called me to tell me about him. I already knew because I talk to my step-mother-in-law. My ex and I don't talk because I HATE her sooooo much. Long story that I wish not to get into. i know hate is a really bad word but I really do HATE her. I feel I have to make amends with her just for my health and sanity. She has screwed up my relationship with my son and I feel my daughter is not far behind. It's all about the mighty $$$!
    I miss and love my father-in-law so much. He never thought of me as his ex son-in-law. (she divorced me is what he told ex).
    I need advice from someone that has maybe been through this before. I know that I'm going to have to see her again during the memorial service but I don't know if I can handle it. I can't even stand to hear her name. Is there someone out there that can give me some advice?
    I really want to see him before his passing but she is there. How can I go to the memorial service with out dealing with her? Is it possible? I'm really hurting here.
     
  2. janzaldo

    janzaldo New Member

    Messages:
    4,173
    State:
    South Gate, Cal
    HI Mark, very sorry to hear about your ex father in law's condition. Hope his last days are peaceful and with no pain.

    Jaime
     

  3. ozzy

    ozzy New Member

    Messages:
    3,936
    State:
    Lost Wages
    Prayers sent from Nevada Brother.
     
  4. Arkansascatman777

    Arkansascatman777 New Member

    Messages:
    7,782
    State:
    AR
    All family members will be in our thoughts and prayers.
     
  5. Shadow Hunter

    Shadow Hunter New Member

    Messages:
    109
    State:
    Indiana
    Prayers coming from Indianapolis Mark For your Father-In-Law, You, And your Son and Daughter. May GOD COME and bring PEACE to this situtation. :worship::worship:
     
  6. Catgirl

    Catgirl New Member

    Messages:
    13,546
    Mark, you have my thoughts and prayers being sent up for your ex father-in-law as well as yourself and the family. None of what you have described sounds easy to deal with.

    I have never been in a situation exactly like that, but I will give you my opinion on how I think you should handle things. If you want to see him before he dies, GO. Yes, she may be there; but as you've said, you love and miss him very much. This is about your relationship with HIM, not with HER - MAKE it about that, don't let your hatred for her keep you from doing what you feel is right. I also think that your children would respect you for it. Show them that you have the strength to ignore the ill feelings you have towards their mother, no matter what she has said or done. After all, that is their grandfather.

    At the memorial service you can go and pay your respects, doesn't mean you have to hang around her. It will probably be necessary to speak to her yes, but once again, proving you are the bigger "man" might be a good thing. If you let the hate you have for her prevent you from seeing him/attending his service, she has taken one more thing away from you.

    Lastly, in your original post you gave several reasons (imo) to at least try to get over the bad feelings you are harboring in your heart......your own health, and sanity, and also your relationships with your son and daughter. Even when someone has done things you feel don't deserve forgiveness, it ends up being more for your OWN benefit to just go ahead and forgive. Then you can get on with your life, making room for happiness and joy to replace the anger.

    Just my two cents. Hang in there buddy. Hugs.
     
  7. 223reload

    223reload New Member

    Messages:
    10,798
    State:
    Oklahoma
    Mark ,Just go see him and suck it up for the time you have to be with the EX,be civil. and nice You will be a better man because of it and all those involved will see that. Praying for ya bro.
     
  8. Ulikedew

    Ulikedew New Member

    Messages:
    1,821
    State:
    Georgetown IN
    Prayers to you bro.I would go you don't have be buddies just be civil.Who knows this might be a start of healing for both of you.Hang in there.

    Brian
     
  9. muzkrat

    muzkrat New Member

    Messages:
    399
    State:
    va.
    prayers going out for your father-in-law from va. i will pray for you and your ex too. you need to pray for your ex also. the bible tells us to pray for our enemies and God will reward you and hold your enemies accountable. you need to somehow come to terms with the hate and somehow forgive her( i know this is not an easy task) think of Jesus and the forgiveness he gave on the cross. use this problem with your ex to really feel what this act meant. from the cross Jesus said Forgive them Father for they know not what they do. He forgave the very ones that nailed Him to the tree. the One that was without sin.pray to God to help you overcome this hatred and He will help you find a way. It may even help heal the relationship with you and your kids. let them see you in a neautral state and let them see your ex as she is. this man is not only your ex father-in-law but he is your childrens grandfather and i am sure they will appreciate you coming in their time of distress. let them see you supporting them anyway you can because if they are close to grandpa they are the ones suffering and the real ones in need. remember in the end you are accountable for yourself and not your ex. let her carry her own cross. God bless you and i will pray that somehow you find a way to get past this.
     
  10. MattShannon

    MattShannon New Member

    Messages:
    829
    State:
    WV
    Prayers from WV.
     
  11. gargoil77

    gargoil77 New Member

    Messages:
    859
    State:
    Clarksville, Indiana
    Thank you all. I really do mean that. All of your comments mean so much to me. Again Thank you.
    My father-in-law died two days ago. My daughter and son both called me to tell me but I was in bed and didn't hear the phone ring.
    I have not spoken to my son but I did talk to my daughter and despite the bad news she gave me good news. Her husband will not be going to Korea in June like his orders said. He gets to be home with her when she gives birth to my grand daughter in May. I'm happy for them.
    I was going to go to the memorial Monday and sit in the back row and then leave. But after looking at the posts presented here I'm going to try to stay longer and be CIVIL AND PUT UP WITH HER. I just need to stay away from her. Again I thank you all.
    Thank God for this website.
     
  12. Ulikedew

    Ulikedew New Member

    Messages:
    1,821
    State:
    Georgetown IN
    Will keep the prayers coming for the strength to go and be there.Sorry for the loss.
     
  13. curdog

    curdog New Member

    Messages:
    896
    State:
    Sheridan, Arkansas
    Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your children. I haven't been in a situwaytion like that. I believe if I wanted go to his memorial I would go And say my good byes. If it starts to get bad bite your tounge and leave.
     
  14. Flatheadhunter33

    Flatheadhunter33 New Member

    Messages:
    3,764
    State:
    Yuma, Arizona
    Mark,
    I am truely sorry that I did not see this post sooner. I am sorry for your loss. I will pray that the Lord will give you and the family the strength to make it through this time with as little pain as possible. I would also like to commend you on your efforts to be civil with your ex on this occasion. Take care and God bless.
     
  15. cathooked

    cathooked New Member

    Messages:
    437
    State:
    north carolina
    prayers to ya from north carolina brother..
     
  16. muzkrat

    muzkrat New Member

    Messages:
    399
    State:
    va.
    sorry for your loss mark but i can already see you are in a better frame of thinking. God bless you and prayers still coming from va for you and your kids and even for your ex.
     
  17. catfishcrazy256

    catfishcrazy256 New Member

    Messages:
    2,648
    State:
    Indiana
    prayers sent from In.
     
  18. catfishjohn

    catfishjohn New Member

    Messages:
    10,217
    State:
    Greenup Co. KY
    Prayers sent from KY!!!
     
  19. yadkinrivercats

    yadkinrivercats Member

    Messages:
    330
    State:
    mocksville,n.c.
    Prayers sent from N.C.
     
  20. mandingo

    mandingo Member

    Messages:
    802
    State:
    kansas
    Mark,i am sorry to hear about your loss,sometime the lord works in mysterious ways.as for getting over the x wife,go out and look around for another partner so it will take your mind off of her.it worked for me...........about 6 times