My area Gathering, My dad, My Mom

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by FishMan, Feb 6, 2006.

  1. FishMan

    FishMan New Member

    Messages:
    2,293
    State:
    Tennessee
    It's getting close, I hope I will make it to my gathering.

    My Stepdad has has 2 heart attacks in the last week. He is 85 and has a defibalator, he refused to go on the kidney machine several months ago and the hospital says he will not come home this time. The doctors seem to think it is time to turn off the defibalator because it is schocking him often and there is nothing they can do to help him.

    My mom is home only 2 week from total knee replacement, boy that is some deal.

    I tell you this You don't know what you are able to do until it really comes down to it. I am disabled and can only stand a few minutes at a time and am in pain at all times but here lately I have learned I can do much more when i must and that was a good thing for me to remember.

    I have known my step father all my life and he is a great man, retired school teacher and 20 year principle also a Marine from WW 2 he served in a war zone for almost 3 years straight. He has been a sunday school teacher for 15 years. When I was dischared in 1970 I was one messed up person and for many years I kept myself away from my family because I couldn't get it together. This man brought me back into the family and helped me return to life. I have never seen this man not think about how he might help someone in need. I only hope the rest of my life I can be as good a person as he has been.

    This man is
    Charles Coates and has fished the Cumberland River since it was damed by the TVA. He is from Princton Indiana but has had a place here in the Dover Tennessee area for over 40 years.

    Well I guess I just wanted someone to talk to, thanks to all who take the time to read this and excuse the grammer

    Danny
     
  2. Catbird

    Catbird New Member

    Messages:
    294
    State:
    Fayetteville, Ohio
    Fishman, your stepdad sounds like a great guy that has helped instill good values in you. It is nice to see the respect for him and your mother. I wish all of you the best in this rough time.
     

  3. jtrew

    jtrew New Member

    Messages:
    4,404
    State:
    Little Rock, AR
    Danny, sometimes we all just need a place to go where we can talk, or even cry. I hope you know that you've got thousands of brothers and sisters here who will listen, and if needed, provide a shoulder.
     
  4. TOPS

    TOPS New Member

    Messages:
    4,099
    State:
    Cabot,Arkansas
    Fishman, keep your head up,things will get better with time.I can never tell you "I know how you feel" because bad situations affect people in different ways. That what's make our personalities. I will be here for you!
     
  5. SangamonCatKiller

    SangamonCatKiller New Member

    Messages:
    488
    State:
    central illinois
    Hey, that is terrible to have thing like that happening all around you. I know... two year ago I had been a bearer for my grandmothers funeral as close as I was to her it hurt pretty bad and I decided I didn't want to be a bearer for any other funerals in my life.... three months later my Aunt Robin( a photocopy of my mother) had a stroke in her brain and died in her driveway after coming home from work.. Needless to say they wanted me to be a bearer for that funeral as well. I did so and all went well for about a year and a half. Right before I had my daughter(apr 05) my father had a stroke in his head but he lived through it. Times like that really bring family close together and it is a shame that it takes something so catastrophic to bring family close. Right now I feel for my fiance as her sister has recently overdosed on cocaine. That is a hard lesson for her to learn but, I hope it knocks some cents into her as she has a lot of children and was neglecting them for the drugs. Right now I am taking care of her sisters two daughters because she is hospitalized. They may decide to keep her for a long time meaning I will be providing for her kids for a while...... Anyways just letting you know that everyone does go through hard times(some worse than others), you just have to find some kind of light through all that darkness. I am just happy my dad is still here and plan on fishing and hanging out with him as much as possible.
     
  6. Rainman4u2

    Rainman4u2 Guest

    Fishman,

    It sounds to me like your stepfather is a better man than most people's real fathers. It's wonderful to see how much love and admiration you have for him.

    Ray
     
  7. Leakyboat

    Leakyboat New Member

    Fishman,
    Sounds like he is a good man!Take care of them,do what you can.Went through some hard times with my dad,i don't wish on anyone.Hang in there,it will all work out!
    Ernie
     
  8. Bubbakat

    Bubbakat New Member

    Messages:
    4,532
    State:
    McMinnvill
    Go to the gathering for a little while. The sight of friendly faces and a little fishing will give you new light on this.

    Your step father would tell you the same thing. He knows what he has to do and he sounds like he hhas made a name for himself in his life time.
    Got a good friend in the same shape and one of these days we will set down and fish and talk about the actions of both.
    Take care.
     
  9. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,010
    State:
    TN
    Danny,

    Like BubbaKat said, go to the gathering if just for a little while. Take a breather. Everyone needs a break, especially when taking care of a loved one.
    They were there for you and now you are there for them. They know that and I'm sure they appreciate it.

    God Bless.
     
  10. vini

    vini New Member

    Messages:
    1,389
    State:
    Fresno
    Danny if you don't go you'll wished that you had SO GO Bruther.

    You're a lucky guy to have such a man in you're life there are few to his degree and what you wrote touched me, he is an inspiration even to me without knowing him.
     
  11. Catfish_Commando

    Catfish_Commando TF Staff Member

    Messages:
    7,005
    State:
    Georgia
    Danny,

    Truly a great man! Thanks for taking the time to share this :)

    Stay strong brother, they will need your strength.

    Paul
     
  12. Fatkat

    Fatkat New Member

    Messages:
    979
    State:
    Blanchester, Ohio
    Danny, your stepdad sounds like a great man, I hope everything works out for your family.
     
  13. stickthrower

    stickthrower New Member

    Messages:
    313
    State:
    Possum Kingdom Lk, TX
    Danny, like everyone else said "He sounds like a great man". Well he is great. Just think about this. Not everyone can be a "real" father, he chose to, not just had fun and had to raise a kid. I'd say that made him the best kind of dad!

    Based on what you said about him, apparently he has made his piece with God. Just think about the good times you have enjoyed with him here and how you will have a great reunion when your day comes.

    We're here for you brother, anytime of day or night.
    God Bless,
    Frank
     
  14. FishMan

    FishMan New Member

    Messages:
    2,293
    State:
    Tennessee
    Thanks to all that posted. My mom is walking with a walker now so that is much better, she improves daily. My dad is under hospice care and we continue.

    Your encourgement means much to me, thanks again.

    Danny
     
  15. Deltalover

    Deltalover New Member

    Messages:
    1,227
    State:
    Tracy Calif
    Your stepdad is a good man! My father too, requires 24/7 care! My thoughts and prayers are with you!
     
  16. nosnag

    nosnag New Member

    Messages:
    284
    State:
    Florida
    Danny,
    Your Stepdad sounds like a man at peace with himself.You cannot judge how he decides to let himself expire.I'm sure that he has left you with a knowledge of how he has chosen to live and die.I have great respect for a man of his caliber.He does'nt want to burden anyone and does'nt want to "linger".God bless him for his honesty to himself and others.Time is now to be a rock for your Mom.Stay strong for her.Do'nt set yourself aside from the rest of the family.Go to the family gatherings.Support from ones that love you is the best strength to help with hard times.Sending prayers for you and yours.

    BILL