Morons of 2006

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by samh, Jun 26, 2006.

  1. samh

    samh New Member

    Messages:
    807
    State:
    Damascus,Arkansas
    1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John
    > Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He
    > received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter
    > who's lacking intelligence.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > 2 WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland CA spent two
    > hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside
    > his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered
    > that the man was standing beside them in the police line shouting,
    > "Please come out and give yourself up!"
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,
    > kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different
    > automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw
    > money from his own bank accounts.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > 4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka KS Kwik Stop and asked for
    > all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently the take was too small,
    > so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three
    > hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > 5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a
    > robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup.
    > When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words:
    > "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not
    > what I said!"
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My
    > wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart."
    > "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted,
    > "This is her husband!"
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto CA, Steven Richard
    > King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch
    > without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun.
    > Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
    > (Hellooooooo!)
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > 8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer down on Lake Isabella, located in
    > the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield CA, some folks new to
    > boating were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they
    > couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish
    > in almost every maneuver no matter how much power they applied. After
    > about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby
    > marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was
    > wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working
    > condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and
    > the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So one of the marina
    > guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on
    > water, he was laughing so hard.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Under the boat, still strapped securely in place ... was the trailer!
     
  2. Lngbo

    Lngbo New Member

    Messages:
    622
    State:
    Marion Ark
    Yep, it takes all kinds, where would we be without them.
     

  3. Redd

    Redd New Member

    Messages:
    790
    State:
    Southeast Kansas
    The only purpose for those kinda people is to make people like me feel smart. lol. awesome post!

    -Red
     
  4. FS Driver

    FS Driver New Member

    Messages:
    2,323
    State:
    swansea,illinoi
    those were all funny but no.8 needs to be printed out and displayed in all places boats are sold LMAO
     
  5. blindfly69

    blindfly69 New Member

    Messages:
    774
    State:
    kentucky
    makes me feel so much better about myself and all the stuff i think is stupid that i do while trying to be a master fisherman
     
  6. laidbck111

    laidbck111 New Member

    no I don't feel so stupid:embarassed:
     
  7. Believer

    Believer New Member

    Messages:
    1,362
    State:
    Greenwood, AR.
    and that was on one of their good days! LOL
     
  8. Myname

    Myname New Member

    Messages:
    201
    State:
    Kentucky
    I seldom laugh out loud, but this was exceptionally funny! Thanks.

    Have a nice day.
     
  9. catfishjohn

    catfishjohn New Member

    Messages:
    10,217
    State:
    Greenup Co. KY
    That was great,thanks for posting it.
     
  10. Arkansascatman777

    Arkansascatman777 New Member

    Messages:
    7,782
    State:
    AR
    Good post. Thanks for sharing. I printed this off and put it on the board at work.