MENFOLK!! here are some Pointers

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by CuzICan, Jul 24, 2008.

  1. CuzICan

    CuzICan New Member

    Messages:
    1,751
    State:
    Fayetteville, A
    and no this is NOT a joke. So don't move it.

    Please do not spit in the trash can with the Walmart bag liner that happens to have had a hole in it.
    Your spouse hates to look at that WalMart bag, but refuses to spend YOUR money ( cuz she is not working for 2 months) to replace it with the cute little colored waste can liners that you can even buy SCENTED. This is not well perceived by those that take out the trash on Thursdays while ONE of us is working, hardly working, or at least drawing a check for sweatin.


    Please do not put your wife off for 4 days when YOU pull the cabinent door off the frame by saying I have some longer screws, I'll do that in a just a minute. I am beginning to wonder just where those damn screws are. If you choose to do this for several days running-- do NOT be surprised when you come home and the door has been removed from the hinges because some women DO know how to use a screwdriver and HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL. Or I have decided for the sake of the looks of the kitchen, to use 16 penny nails in place of those screws. I know where they are :angry:

    MEN!!! Please do not claim a room for your own, allow someone else to clean it when it gets so shabbily kept that no one can get in it (because it just keeps getting worse and you WON'T), then say "Oh I am gonna take that to the outbuilding" I am on my second round of this room cleaning business. You have to start at the door and work your way in... you don't dare beat a path through cuz You are afraid you will be lost--never to be found again.... This may be a ploy by the man to get rid of the woman....I am starting to suspect this. If I don't post again for several days??? One of you come looking for me.

    I also refuse to open the vent in there and it's hot and I"M MAD. Don't complain if you do this that you "can't find your stuff" You are lucky she didn't burn it. I am packing boxes for removal at the current time.

    GIRLS-- Do not ever put a cardboard box in the corner by your husband's computer because that is the first place he goes when he comes home from work... This tactic does NOT work. I tried it to keep the JUNK that accumlates from every task imaginable off my tables and desks. I put a small box in the corner and started throwing stuff in there, thinking he'd get sick of his stuff being in the box. I found some more stuff on my tables and said HEY put this stuff UP!!! Your legal spouse will reply with "oh Honey just put it in the BOX. :confused2:

    And please remember that if your spouse is a teacher that she/he has done 12 months + of work in less than 9, and deserves the summer break. Don't keep asking me what I did today, or what I am gonna do tomorrow... I may sleep for the next week since I only have till the 10th to get YOUR mess cleaned up. and I don't think I'll make it!!! :crazy::crazy::crazy:

    HELPPPPPPPPP-- either that just send me to the asylum, cuz I think I would like it there BETTER! they probably don't have chores. they just get some nice relaxing meds and that may be a blessing in disguise. Ya'll come see me now, ya hear? Said to the tune of the Clampett theme song.

     
  2. bluejay

    bluejay Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    8,502
    State:
    Napoleon, Mo.
    And thats the rest of the story!!
     

  3. Wabash River Bear

    Wabash River Bear New Member

    Messages:
    3,019
    State:
    Indiana
    Cher, you sound a bit frazzled girl. Hope you get some relief soon.
     
  4. BKS72

    BKS72 New Member

    Messages:
    3,361
    State:
    East of KC
    John, I think your wife and mine would get along well - strange reading those kinds of comments instead of hearing then hollered at me:smile2:
     
  5. CountryHart

    CountryHart New Member

    Messages:
    10,914
    State:
    missouri
    Every plank has 2 sides fellows. If i only had the time to write my side of the story. For the time being i'm admitting nothing, denying everything, and trying to think up counter accusations. Lettme think:confused2:
     
  6. boswifedeb

    boswifedeb USCA Jailhouse Lawyer

    Messages:
    13,831
    State:
    Tennessee
    Name:
    Debbie
    Cher, Like I said the other day, I've never been to Missouri. Do you need me to come up there and give you some backup? In case y'all haven't looked at my avatar, I A'INT some little something. I'm a BIG ole girl and I know how to use my weight to my advantage. Just let me know!:wink:
     
  7. CuzICan

    CuzICan New Member

    Messages:
    1,751
    State:
    Fayetteville, A
    Thanks Deb but I've lost it! The cat and the bird have stayed far far away from me all afternoon. I caught myself babbling to myself incoherently. I think I took a whole bottle of my anti- depressants, yet I 'm not sure.

    The door is now equipped with an automated response that says "NO ONE IS AVAILABLE TO ANSWER YOUR KNOCK, WE'VE ALL GONE NUTS HERE" recording.

    But come on down honey :smile2::smile2: I could USE some back up and maybe even some supervision!

    Enter at your own risk though....coming here is like a trip into the twilight zone, and comparable to going through a black hole, into a time warp, and arriving at the Beverly Hillbilly's house.

    and ya'll did notice I said PLEASE everytime...wasn't I nice?
     
  8. boswifedeb

    boswifedeb USCA Jailhouse Lawyer

    Messages:
    13,831
    State:
    Tennessee
    Name:
    Debbie
    My husband was just sitting here, reading through this with me. He knows now why I keep coming on here ---- can't get a bigger laugh anywhere else!!:smile2:
     
  9. Mac-b

    Mac-b Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    19,536
    State:
    North Caro
    Miz Cher, it is not John's fault that he does what he does, it is his mother's fault. Same thing happen to me. My mother picked up after all three of us boys and that was the way it was.

    When I first got married, my better 3/4's shined my shoes, picked up my clothes and had din din ready for me when I got home from work. That lasted maybe six weeks (honeymoon period), then I noticed that my shoes were getting a little dull and that my clothes were stacking up on the chair next to the bed. Oh, forgot to mention that she got a job and went to work as a nurse at the health dept. My life as I knew it was turned upside down and has been that way for 38 years.

    Now I have a corner of the closet where I stack my clothes that I want to wear another time, such as when I go fishing or mowing the yard. I finally know now to put the dirty ones in the laundry basket, which is only three feet away from my stack. As for the puter table, I make some very important notes off of the BOC and every now and then, they disappear,where too, only heaven knows. I suspect the trash can, but I'm not going to bend over and see if they are there.

    Don't be too hard on your other 1/4, he can't help it, it is you know who's fault. Fellows do I hear an amen to that!
     
  10. Kat-tamer

    Kat-tamer New Member

    Messages:
    875
    State:
    Missouri
    You know she is a mother too! Now the boys are in trouble and they haven't even been home to make a mess!:wink:

    I'm with ya Cher. Men don't throw nothin away and it all stacks up in every corner. If Matt knew about all the stuff I throw away.......:eek:oooh:.
    His own fault, he shouldda found a place for it!

    However, my 2 boys are worse. I wish they were a little like their sister. She throws everything away. (sometimes even the important stuff) But if it aint important to her...it's trash.

    Maybe I should get her and come down to help ya clean!:smile2:
     
  11. Mike81

    Mike81 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,231
    State:
    Alabama
    Uh oh John, might be time for an emergency fishin trip this weekend. :eek:oooh: :smile2:
     
  12. bwhupp

    bwhupp New Member

    Messages:
    1,680
    State:
    Belleville
    Oh man... I quit listening after the first three words. :wink:


    Please do not....
     
  13. CuzICan

    CuzICan New Member

    Messages:
    1,751
    State:
    Fayetteville, A
    Too late Mike he's outside working on his boat as I TYPE... He knows when the getting is good...and this will be cause "we don't have ANY fish in the freezer" I bet!

    My boys is FAR better cleaners than John and one of them is a slob too...then all the sudden John will get on a cleaning spree wanting to throw everyone elses stuff away...:smile2::smile2: go figure...

    Bring that gal and get over Kat while I'm coming out of this stupor I been in since I got to the back of that dern room. :tounge_out::tounge_out:

    Now he's in here kicking the cat, cuz he can't kick me HEHEHHEHEHE, the cat just screamed in pain and john just HOLLERED get out from under my FEET!!! LOLOL that's no way to make friends now is it??? LOLOL


    and that my friends is why they call it the BROTHERHOOD of Catfishermen! LOL

    Ya'll make me smile!:smile2::eek:oooh::wink:
     
  14. anchorpuller

    anchorpuller New Member

    Messages:
    857
    State:
    North Caro
    Poor man. Can't get a break! Now you KNOW that he has shown you how MUCH he loves you. Ain't THAT enough?

    By the way.. did you get something out of the freezer to fix his dinner tomarrow night?

    Oh and... Since you are in the mood, wanna make a few extra bucks? My husband is looking for someone to do his laundry. Seems he went way past turn out day and it's still sitting there in the corner. Besides, if he does put it out for turnout day the wood goats (deer) will probably eat them too.

    In ALL seriousness. Let him finish fixing that boat. Hook it up and come one down. WE can go fishing and have a big time while he figures out how to get TO the computer. :smile2:
     
  15. CuzICan

    CuzICan New Member

    Messages:
    1,751
    State:
    Fayetteville, A
    I know that's right...the last present I got was a size 9 1/2 pair of waders. Guess who don't wear a size 9 1/2...yeah that would be me sweety!

    I am NOT bothering him while he fix his boat...he's come in and out a couple of times and I said hey you oughta read this, and "he don't have TIME for the computer right now" hmphhhh!!

    I am not cooking tomorrow... I hate to cook on friday's and that' PAYDAY WHOOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!:wink::wink:

    LOL I am just talking bout him like he can't read LOLOLOL!!!:tounge_out:
    that would have been Please don't spit...figures! :wink: You quit listenin' but ya JUSTTTTTTT couldn't quit reading could ya darlin! You are NOT alone...but ya'll might be iffen you keep on! I know I know -- fishing trip!
     
  16. Katmandeux

    Katmandeux New Member

    Messages:
    1,618
    State:
    Checotah, Oklahoma
    Guys keep stuff, 'cause we know that we might be called upon to build sumpin big an important out of spare parts, with no time to go to the hardware store. Stuff like super colliders and bait tanks, ya know?

    Live ain't all huntin', gatherin', and and... um...you know:wink:Sometimes a man's just gotta build stuff.
     
  17. CuzICan

    CuzICan New Member

    Messages:
    1,751
    State:
    Fayetteville, A
    and I reserve the right to have a breakdown...:roll_eyes: I am due one, I deserve to have one, and I promise I will make the most of it! :wink:
     
  18. Mickey

    Mickey New Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    14,592
    State:
    Illinois
    John it sounds like you have been a bad boy. Time to buy flowers are whatever you do to get back into graces.
     
  19. Mike81

    Mike81 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,231
    State:
    Alabama
     
  20. seacatfish

    seacatfish New Member

    Messages:
    319
    State:
    Florida
    I`m stayin OUT of this. Hey, what am I doing here? :eek:oooh: