Making Women Happy

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by gcarlin, Aug 31, 2006.

  1. gcarlin

    gcarlin New Member

    Messages:
    1,353
    State:
    Richmond ,Indiana
    Make women happy - Demerit Point System explained [​IMG]In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.

    Do something she likes, and you get points.

    Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

    You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

    Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

    Here is a guide to the points system:

    SIMPLE DUTIES

    * You make the bed ....................+1

    * You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0

    * You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1

    * You leave the toilet seat up.............-5

    * You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0

    * When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1

    * When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2

    * You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5

    * in the snow...............+8

    * but return with beer..........-5

    * and no liners....................-25

    * You check out a suspicious noise at night....... 0

    * You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0

    * You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5

    * You pummel it with a six iron...........+10

    * It's her cat.........................-40

    HER BIRTHDAY

    * You take her out to dinner................ 0

    * You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1

    * Okay, it is a sports bar..........-2

    * And it's all-you-can-eat night....-3

    * It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team......-10

    A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

    * Go with a pal.........................+5

    * The pal is happily married............+4

    * Or frighteningly single...............-7

    * And he drives a Ferrari...............-10

    * With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15

    A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

    * You take her to a movie...............+2

    * You take her to a movie she likes.....+4

    * You take her to a movie you hate......+6

    * You take her to a movie you like......-2

    * It's called Death Cop 3...............-3

    * Which features Cyborgs that eat humans....-9

    * You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15

    YOUR PHYSIQUE

    * You develop a noticeable pot belly.............-15

    * You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...............................+10

    * You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.......-30

    * You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."......-800

    THE BIG QUESTION (a no win question)

    * She asks, "Do I look fat?"

    * You hesitate in responding.....-10

    * You reply, "Where?"............-35

    * Any other response.............-20

    COMMUNICATION

    When she wants to talk about a problem:

    * You listen, displaying a concerned _expression...... 0

    * You listen, for over 30 minutes....................+5

    * You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV..................................+100

    * She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep....-200
     
  2. kycatman01

    kycatman01 New Member

    Messages:
    856
    State:
    kentucky
    Great post, Greg!! How true it is!!!
     

  3. katcatchingfool

    katcatchingfool New Member

    Messages:
    2,032
    State:
    illinois
    that is a great post and oh so true lol
     
  4. rebelzgrl76

    rebelzgrl76 New Member

    Messages:
    1,359
    State:
    CO
    That was too funny thanks for posting that.
     
  5. Scott Daw

    Scott Daw New Member

    Messages:
    2,002
    State:
    Allentown, Pennsylvania
    How true....how true
     
  6. mlohre

    mlohre New Member

    Messages:
    90
    State:
    Walton, Kentucky
    how true, but i think the larger point mean sex and no sex, Not Points
     
  7. teaysvalleyguy

    teaysvalleyguy New Member

    Messages:
    9,751
    State:
    GC, OHIO
    LMAO, this should be in the Joke section.
     
  8. thomcat

    thomcat New Member

    Messages:
    375
    State:
    pennsylvania 17745
    true true, its a winning battle,,,,





    for them... and its better for us cause there happy.
     
  9. catfisher43

    catfisher43 New Member

    Messages:
    910
    State:
    missouri
    lol.how true it is.thanks for the post.
     
  10. Dmitri

    Dmitri New Member

    Messages:
    577
    State:
    Illinois
    lmao! that's great, haha!
     
  11. gater460

    gater460 New Member

    Messages:
    75
    State:
    eldon,mo
    long and short of it there is no making a women happy