Lets have fun with words...

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by sal_jr, Nov 14, 2006.

  1. sal_jr

    sal_jr New Member

    Ithaca, MI
    Ok, lets have some fun with words...

    As the saying goes, "A good pun is its own reword", so why not have a thread devoted to rewiring the written language a bit to make it all the more funny.

    Here is what I'd like to see here:

    Post a single phrase, sentence, or short paragraph that with a few changes creates a pun or other worplay to make the post funny, interesting, a total groaner, or just plain wierd.

    Ill start:

    My cousin sent off money via the internet to eastern europe for a bride last month, but since then all contact had disappeared. Finally he called them and they assured him that the Czech is in the mail.
  2. sal_jr

    sal_jr New Member

    Ithaca, MI
    Try and put down original work... or mention a copy of one you didnt write if that is the case:

    This is a copy:
    “I bought a computer from The Nero Company. It comes with a CD/Rome burner.”

    So is this one:
    The recent windstorm through the trees was an absolute debarkle.

  3. sal_jr

    sal_jr New Member

    Ithaca, MI
    A Spoonerism is a sentence, phrase, orstory where the first letter of various words are switched to enhance the story, make it funnier, or totally change the meaning. This is one of my favorite Spoonerisms. HINT: theyre much funnier read aloud to someone else... trust me.

    Prinderella and the Cince
    by Colonel Stoopnagle

    Here, indeed, is a story that'll make your cresh fleep. It will give you poose gimples. Think of a poor little glip of a surl, prairie vitty, who, just because she had two sisty uglers, had to flop the more, clinkle the shuvvers out of the stitchen cove and do all the other chasty nores, while her soamly histers went to a drancy bess fall. Wasn't that a shirty dame?

    Well, to make a long shorry stort, this youngless hapster was chewing her doors one day, when who should suddenly appear but a garry fawdmother. Beeling very fadly for this witty prafe, she happed her clands, said a couple of waggic merds, and in the ash of a flybrow, Cinderella* was transformed into a bavaging reauty.

    And out at the sturbcone stood a nagmificent coalden goach, made of a pipe rellow yumpkin. The gaudy fairmother told her to hop in and dive to the drance, but added that she must positively be mid by homelight. So, overmoash with accumtion, she fanked the tharry from the hottom of her bart, bimed acloard, the driver whacked his crip, and off they went in a dowd of clust.

    Soon they came to a casterful wundel, where a pransome hince was possing a tarty for the teeple of the pown. Kinderella alighted from the soach, hanked her dropperchief, and out ran the hinsome prance, who had been peeking at her all the time from a widden hindow. The sugly isters stood bylently sigh, not sinderizing Reckognella in her goyal rarments.

    Well, to make a long shorty still storer, the nince went absolutely pruts over the pruvvly lincess. After several dowers of antsing, he was ayzier than crevver. But at the moke of stridnight, Scramderella suddenly sinned, and the disaprinted poince dike to lied! He had forgotten to ask the nincess her prame! But as she went stunning down the long reps, she slicked off one of the glass kippers she was wearing, and the pounce princed upon it with eeming glize.

    The next day he tied all over trown to find the lainty daydy whose foot slitted that fipper. And the ditty prame with the only fit that footed was none other than our layding leedy. So she finally prairied the mince, and they happed livily after everward.
  4. sal_jr

    sal_jr New Member

    Ithaca, MI
    Lirty Dies: Falicornia
    LET ME STELL YOU the tory of the ho proopster.
    That kig bahuna of the casketball bort: Bobie Kryant.

    Bobie is quo sick, he can grab an ass with his pies closed.
    You tirst-fimers, just whip your flurds, and you'll figure it out.
    Bobie makes billions and billions of mucks.
    He is getting laid a pot.

    Bobie says he's a sponogamous mouse.
    If he's a sponagamous mouse, then I'm a nudist bun.
    Lemme be his cort-spaster.
    Bobie swoots! Shish! It's a pee-throinter!
    Bobie finds a sweet hot, and takes it to the spouse!
    And gets a fecknical towel!
    Bobie libbles down the drain for a damn slunk.
    And nacks his wee.

    See head, "I need a sary good virgin."
    He found one, in the Rolorado Cockies.
    In a boo-tit hun-worse thistle-wop. The ittle town of Legal.
    Nate one light, Bobie called a clotel herk.
    You know, the beanie-topper you've seen all over the neb and the interwet.
    See head, "Hey, bunny-honey, cheese bring me a pleaseburger."

    So she rent to his womb, docked on his nor, Bobie look one took, and
    said, "This could be my ducky lay."
    His dipper went zoun. and she servicely nervoused him.
    Hut wappened? Noo hose?!
    See shed, "Bobie is gotally tilty, a falicious melon, a lelonious faker."
    See head he's blot to name, he didn't lake any bra.

    Now, every eagle beagle is in Legal.
    Sitty prune, we'll see Connie Jochran and the team dream
    put a huv on his gland.
    "If it doesn't quit, you must a-fit."
    All the quakers are laking.
    Tragic thinks it's magic.
    Tack is having a heart-a-shack.
    And Nack Jicholson is having a fissy hit in the runt frow.
    So set get for the sile of the trentury. Legal vs. Ah-Ah-Land.
    The sale of two titties.

    AND WHERE DOES BOBIE spay his plorts?
    The state great of Falicornia.
    What a plupid stucocracy.
    Fallicornia. From the Bolden Gate to the Gay Bridge.
    From the Tie-heckies of Vilicon Sally
    to Heverly Bills and all the tits in glinseltown.
    What a nunch of butts.

    It all began when Day Gravis farted stumbling.
    All those Falicornians wanted to sing him out of Flacramento.
    And who gan for rovernor?
    Everybody from Flarry Lint to Meetwood Flack and the Boobie Drothers.
    Who was the wig binner? Schwarnold Ortzenegger. Bonan the Carbarian.
    When Schwarnold was yister mooniverse, he was yandsome and hung.
    He was a pisky little fruppy.
    Whenever he saw a lung yovely with a barge lust, he would beeze her
    What a pale mauvinist chig.

    I wonder how he'll tend his sperm.
    Schwarnold needs a new gootenant lovenor.
    Another fich and ramous stuvie mar.
    Someone with my horals.

    Jikal thinks he's the ping of cop.
    If he's the ping of cop, then I'm the yuke of dork.
    Jikal is a dancy fancer, a woon malker, and a jacked out wackass.
    Wacko is Jacko!

    Once, Jikal Maxon was a Saxon, but now he's an Anglo-Jackson.
    He's neither blight nor wack.

    One day, when Jikal was being a dad bad, somebody fook a toto.
    They fook a toto of Jikal bangling a daby.
    What a thupid sting to do.
    What a wit-nit.
    That sleep has been having creepovers.
    Now he's in trig bubble.
    The long arm of the straw put him in the senal pystem.
    His hutt could be in the boozegow.
    But Jikal doesn't need a perm in the tokey.
    Jikal needs Borena Lobbitt.
    She'd thack off his wingie, and whoa it in the throods.
    That'd be the end of his bingamathob.

    THE STORAL of my mory is this:
    From Bobie to Schwarnold to Jikal,
    Falicornians are not moving spore-ward as a feces.
  5. wolfman

    wolfman Well-Known Member

    Triadelphia, WV
    Walter Flack
    Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
  6. keithcatfish

    keithcatfish New Member

    Maryville, TN
    I just used this one in class: "Thermodynamics is pretty cool stuff".

    When I was in high school, I knew a guy named John Oster who could hold a conversation speaking in puns only. If he found this thread he would go berserk.
  7. metalman

    metalman Well-Known Member

    What boad of lollocks...W
  8. laidbck111

    laidbck111 New Member

    I entered a contest for the same thing and entered 10 entries I did not win are even place but the last pun was

    No pun in ten did.......win
  9. peewee williams

    peewee williams New Member

    Don't know what these boys is a smoken,but it ain;t rabbit bacca.peewee
  10. cook

    cook New Member

    Plattsburg,Mo.(near K.C.)
    I hope she didn't pass away,that would make her a.......I just can't type it....groan.....:tounge_out: