John Madden says...

Discussion in 'LOCAL KENTUCKY TALK' started by Brando, Nov 5, 2007.

  1. Brando

    Brando New Member

    Louisville, Kentucky
    If my life came with NFL style commentary, Madden would be saying...

    "Now here's a guy that when he baits his hook, he has more success. *draws a circle around my head with the tele-strator* When he casts his line, he's trying to land it IN the water. You see, you... you... you... you see... you..., the object of fishing is to try to hook a fish by getting it to bite on your bait. If the fish bites your bait, you can reel him in. That's why it works. You reel in the fish, and BOOM you're fishing."

    Apparently, according to JimmyJonny, it is time for me to dress up like a giant minnow, because this weekend I was demoralized.

    Saturday I ended up staying up all night. I went to the Waffle House at 6:00 and had my usual gut-buster breakfast spectacular. With my belly now filled with grease, I was ready to take on the lake. I arrived just as park hours officially opened. While I unpacked and readied my gear, there was still a TON of fog on the lake just rolling off. It was gorgeous. I tried to get a picture of it to post up here, but my camera wouldn't work for some reason. I should've taken that as a sign.

    Right away, BANG! I catch a small bluegill on my UL line that I keep myself entertained with while waiting for the catfish. I'm thinking that it is going to be a good day and that my luck has turned around. I figured that the bite was on!

    WRONG. Later in the day I caught a 1/2 lb. channel. That was it. No trout. No other catfish. No remarkable bream. Nada. I was fishing for over tweleve hours.

    Sunday I decided to sleep in. Saturday morning had proven that it is entirely too difficult to effectively tie knots when you can't feel your fingers. I rounded up Nathan and Senol (Trey was sick all weekend) again and we headed out at 11:30. We tried fishing the other end of the pond, working this small cove, hoping the fish went into the cover to avoid all the heavy fishing. All that happened was that my 8 year-old cousin snagged more lines than I ever thought possible. Three hours of that, and I was ready to boogie.

    We.... I mean I pack up allllllll the gear and make the trek back up to the suv and drive around to the other side. I unload alllllll the gear and trudge it down to the usual fishing spot. I unpack alllllllll the gear and we start fishing.

    Hooray! Another 1/2 lb. channel. That was it. I personally had 4 lines rigged and out in the water. My friend Tyler that we met out there had his 2 lines in the water, I had another pole just for trying to catch these friggin' trout, and Senol and Nathan each had out a line.

    There were hotdog bits flying all over, my pants smelled like dip bait (which by the way is what I caught both of the channels on, even though normally they won't bite it at all), there were nightcrawlers being sawed in half and mutilated left and right, it was right out of a horror film.

    I know this post isn't as funny or entertaining as the last one. I just get soooo frustrated when I relieve it. I don't know what happened. It is as if all of the sudden the fish just decided that they would rather starve to death than to take my bait.

    I think it's a conspiracy. I don't know how, but I think the trout have gotten to the catfish. They know too much. They must be eliminated. If it weren't for the trout, I wouldn't have been so embarrassed when Brooke called.

    "Have you caught us dinner, yet?"

    ".....*long pause*........ No." I didn't know whether to scream or cry.

    It was flat-out humiliating. The insande part is that I'm already thinking about next weekend. "Now, if I can just get a BIGGER reel to cast out into the deepest, deep, deepity, deep water I can find, maybe they have moved down there."

    It's official. I'm completely obsessed. No one in their right mind would have that kind of weekend and immediately try and plan for their next dose of punishment.

    I might as well have dropped a bowling ball in my lap. At least that way, I'd have a reason for hurting this much. :embarassed:

    Until next time... Here's a pic of my cousin Nathan hanging out in the pantry. Strange kid, that one.

    P.S. - Thanks to all who responded so positively to my last thread! I really appreciate it! And yes, I have thought about writing as a career before, and studied journalism and writing for college for some time. I had never considered writing for a fishing magazine until now, though. Sounds like a great idea!

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  2. baitchunker

    baitchunker New Member

    i honestly cant relate to the whole "not catching fish" thing. sorry, it has just never happened to me.

    john madden, however... i cant stand that guy. i cant believe he has his own freakin video game. it used to be funny when he would say things like "the team that scores the most touchdowns, usually wins the game". no $h0

    better luck next time bro.

  3. Brando

    Brando New Member

    Louisville, Kentucky
    "Now here's a guy that could use some help finding a spot for bank fishing on the Ohio."

    Any help is greatly appreciated. I always fished on my grandpa's houseboat. Now that I'm grown up and he has no boat and neither do I, I'm kind of at a loss.

    BTW, I Louisvillerider, I watched the video of you and your son and tried to give you rep points, but it was too soon since my last add. It was awesome to see you out there with your boy, it really made me happy to watch.