"Johathan, we hardly knew yee"

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by postbeetle, Oct 25, 2007.

  1. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Messages:
    6,598
    State:
    Iowa
    Jonathan, remember those puke drill sargents who made a man out of you in boot camp? Those old gamers got ya sized up when you got off the bus. They knew who were and how they were going to turn you into a Marine and everyone around you in the flash of an eye. They knew who was going to wash out and who was gonna be good cannon fodder. After some time and sweat you became a grunt and never knew how it happened. When you were eating those termites out of that muddy waterhole, consider that easy compared to being a father. A serious father, a real father. There are a lot of fathers nowadays who are in the play but they never read the script.

    Get out the needle and thread, lad you just got promoted. Those funny looking things your going to sew on better have good thread because you won't be taking them off. Actually Amy will have you ranked, and that is the way it should be. Your job is to turn that young pup or pupess into some quality human being. This one and the ones to follow will be your squad. You will go into battle with them and wipe their noses and dry their tears. You will even stand in harms way for them like all good Sgts.

    And you will love it. Unlike being turned into a Marine, with its rule book, turning into a father has no rule book. You learn as you go. You won't even know your doing it. Jonathan I've only known you a short time on an impersonal keyboard and I like what I see. Perhaps if we were nose to nose we would hate each others guts, but I think not. You will do fine, Amy will do fine. Frankly I would, from what I have interpreted about you, would like to be raised by you. But I would have three problems to be solved.

    One, we would have to get out of Alabama and head North.
    Two, my name would have to be John. If a girl my name would have to be John. If twins, both of our names would be John.
    Three, don't feed me okra in my highchair, those are worse than prunes.

    Congratulations JD. I ain't gonna wish ya luck, because you will make your own SGT.!

    John.
     
  2. BIG GEORGE

    BIG GEORGE New Member

    Messages:
    10,362
    State:
    JOISY
    Did I miss somethin? Someone is with child? Let the festivities begin. The fifth "BEETLE" has struck again. Pearls of wisdom flowin at this early stage of the day. If what I am assumein is correct I have only this to say. Don't write a check with your mouth that your butt can't cash. If ya say somethin like, "Don't do that or I will bust your little butt" Be prepared to start bustin. If I have been slack in my duties I apologize. Apparently "CONGRATS" are in order. By the way. There is no pay hike with the promotion. LOL!
     

  3. anchorpuller

    anchorpuller New Member

    Messages:
    857
    State:
    North Caro

    Does this mean I absolutely HAVE to slap his head off of his shoulders if he doesn't quit barking at the breakfast table? :smile2:
     
  4. kyredneck

    kyredneck New Member

    Messages:
    1,021
    State:
    Kentucky
    "Your job is to turn that young pup or pupess into some quality human being."

    Outstanding articulation! Parenting 101 in a nutshell!
     
  5. SSgt Fishslayer

    SSgt Fishslayer New Member

    Messages:
    1,241
    State:
    south carolina
    i dont really know what you said, but it sure sounded good. :big_smile: made me feel like i was some kind of intellectual or something.
     
  6. BIG GEORGE

    BIG GEORGE New Member

    Messages:
    10,362
    State:
    JOISY

    If ya said ya was gonna do it,ya wrote the check. LOL!
     
  7. baitchunker

    baitchunker New Member

    Messages:
    1,689
    State:
    alabama
    thank you thank you from the bottom of my beating heart.

    i have been convinced since my own conception that men are really only here for 3 things. we eat, we fight, and we reproduce. i got the fried okra covered, ive been to the sandbox, and now i have procreated.

    of course i am begining to see this is just the beigning. thats ok ive been looking forward to it for way too long. even though it sounds creepy, i have been studying father/fatherly persons for a long time. this will probably be the most important thing i ever do and i dont wanna screw it up.

    john, i am flattered. i would even name you john. actually john is my dads name. i am his first born so i am jonathon daniel, second born is john robert. its an alabama thing, i also have 2 sisters named morgan.

    i wouldnt force you to eat fried okra, as long as you like fried green tomatoes instead. its the south, you have to eat fried something.

    move you north? we will discuss a school sponsored field trip when the time comes young man. untill then your whistlin' dixie just like my ol man and his b4 him, and on and on. you will have plenty of oppurtunities to travel once you are accepted into a university.
     
  8. bootshowl

    bootshowl New Member

    Messages:
    2,288
    State:
    Indiana, J
    Must of been the rear end adjustment JD. "Forced Recon", LOL.
    Don't doubt. Don't worry. Nature has it's ways and whatever God is; it too.
    All the best to you and Amy.
    You could cover my six any day.
    No better way to get over seeing & doing the things you have than getting back to the way it's meant to be. Life.
    :big_smile:
     
  9. kyredneck

    kyredneck New Member

    Messages:
    1,021
    State:
    Kentucky
    ".......we eat, we fight, and we reproduce....."

    Sounds like a poor old coon hound I had when I was a kid; all he was was a walking nose, penis, and a stomach, constantly getting into trouble.
     
  10. baitchunker

    baitchunker New Member

    Messages:
    1,689
    State:
    alabama
    yeah that basically summs it up. lmao. was he a walker, or a blue tick, maybe a red-bone?

    believe it or not, i am taking this extremely seriously. i actually did that thing chicks do when there eyes get all wet.
     
  11. kyredneck

    kyredneck New Member

    Messages:
    1,021
    State:
    Kentucky
    He was an English dog, actually an offshoot from a blue tick, raised him from a pup, tried to have him for a pet too and let him roam free, but it just don't work with them. They get into everything.
     
  12. SSgt Fishslayer

    SSgt Fishslayer New Member

    Messages:
    1,241
    State:
    south carolina
    its ok. i shed a tear once or twice. i think the last time was last night when my boy blocked 27 shots at his hockey game. he has been playing goalie all season and they are undefeated. and this is his first year playing goalie. plus he is the smallest kid on the team and just dominates when it comes to the goalie box. they only snuck one past him. i was so proud. they won 2-1. see JD these are the precious moment you get to look forward too........ they are so sweet. :cry:
     
  13. Ol Man

    Ol Man New Member

    Messages:
    3,170
    State:
    Illinois
    That's a little different than my version...
    __________
    I am on a thirty day diet. So far, I have lost 15 days.
     

    Attached Files:

  14. baitchunker

    baitchunker New Member

    Messages:
    1,689
    State:
    alabama
    just got the call from the doc. turns out she is definitely prego in the oveno.

    doc put date of conception the exact day after her last bc pill.

    man, my mojo is strong.
     
  15. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Messages:
    6,598
    State:
    Iowa
    That teary eyed crap just means there's sand in a Marines eyes. You guys are great. The nice part of knowing all of you is seeing what it is really like to have people interact with such simple things in life. Ya know Jonathan (got your name spelled right that time) before you got shore leave or disembarked didn't they have you dip your hand in a candy bowl and fill your pockets with certain condiments and I don't mean ketchup and mustard here. They must not have those things in Alabama.

    I am happy for ya and I don't care what you call your baby. Enjoy your wife and what you are going to go through. It will finally put hair on your chest.
     
  16. baitchunker

    baitchunker New Member

    Messages:
    1,689
    State:
    alabama
    well ya almost spelled it right anyway. thats why i go by j.d. nobody messes that up. lol.

    thanks john, it means a lot. thank you to everybody.
     
  17. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Messages:
    6,598
    State:
    Iowa
    Sorry, I think I am just gonna call ya "numbnuts" from now on out. I hope I spelled that right.
     
  18. jtrew

    jtrew New Member

    Messages:
    4,404
    State:
    Little Rock, AR
    Move north!? Brother, haven't you heard that the only reason people live in the north is 'cause they got JOBS up there? How many people yoou heard of retiring to the north?
     
  19. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Messages:
    6,598
    State:
    Iowa
    Jerry, with global warming I am beginning to feel like I live in the South. Canada is next for me, if I could understand those people. I wonder if the Indians will let me fish or the French Canadians will make me stop shaving my legs.
     
  20. SSgt Fishslayer

    SSgt Fishslayer New Member

    Messages:
    1,241
    State:
    south carolina
    hey beetle, its good to see you actually contributing to a conversation instead of just getting everyone riled up. and dont go living with them canadians. they aint worth it. unless there are canadians on here, and then i retract my last statement. anyway JD back to your situation, kids are great, until its time to go to bed and then wake up again, they they arent so much fun. or when they get in trouble, or fall down, or do anything that you dont like. but they are fun sometimes.