Is there a Santa (Scientific Opinion)

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Phil Washburn, Dec 19, 2005.

  1. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Shawnee OK
    Engineers and Scientist weigh in on the likelihood of Santa's existence; Please don't share this white-paper with young children who "know better". :)


    1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

    2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

    3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

    This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

    4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

    5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. In conclusion -

    If there ever WAS a Santa Claus, he's dead by now.
  2. Katmaster Jr.

    Katmaster Jr. New Member

    Wilmington, NC
    Attention: Brain Overload, Brain Overload...... :eek: .....LOL

    Seriously thank's for sharing, that's intresting. :)

  3. jtrew

    jtrew New Member

    Little Rock, AR
    As a young child, I believed in Santa, of course; when I got older, I 'learned' that there was 'no Santa'. Then, three years ago, we were spending Thanksgiving with my folks in Chattanooga and went out for supper one evening with Jim & Judy Marshall. While in the restaurant, the grandkids suddenly said, "There's Santa!" Sure enough, this plump, white whiskered, friendly looking older man was entering. As he sat down, we noticed that it had begun to snow. When we left the restaurant, we stood around for a while, saying our goodbyes, when 'Santa' came out. Naturally, the grandkids asked him if he was really Santa, and he replied, "Yes, I am". Well, we took a picture or two of the grandkids with him, then he started to get in his car, which was parked right next to ours. We had already noticed it, because it was a Firebird, complete with painted hood and 455HO engine. We asked 'Santa' about driving it instead of the sleigh, and he said that the reindeer can only fly one night a year, so he needed something else that would fly the rest of the year. He got in and drove off. As we watched his taillights quickly dwindle into the distance, it quit snowing. Yup, I believe in Santa again, because I've met him in person.
  4. Fatkat

    Fatkat New Member

    Blanchester, Ohio
    lmao, Phil you need to spend less time thinking before you hurt yourself. :eek: lol
  5. Dano

    Dano New Member

    Phil, your telling me there aint no Santa. Your wrong. He use's my credit card every. :mad:

    Its easy to see how Santa gets around. Anybody with kids, heck just adult family, they be Santa. Everybody thinks I'm Santa every year.
    Wolfman, I hear ya. We went shopping again today. Heck I thought we finished this last year. LOL. It was packed and people just dont care. I drove back roads, through the woods all the way to town so I could relax before getting there. My BP starting going up when we got close to mall. Cell phone drivers, parking lots, people willing and able to fight over parking, pulling out in front of us with cell P in ear. Bumper to bumper people and cars. :eek:

    What I want for Christmas.
    One of those big supperballs. I want it equipped with a industrial type thick rubber band attached to it that has a stretching distance of mim, 10 feet. I will use this for some of the bad, rude disrespectful people. I can chunk it to the back of their head, rubber band and help from super ball will spring it back to me. Being quick about it, turn around and be minding my own business. :0a10: LMAO.

    And since I play Santa every year. I want my flying reindeer so I can avoid traffic and cell phones. HoHoHo.

    Where is my Ice Chest. :cool:
  6. Dreadnaught

    Dreadnaught New Member

    Phil, I am sorry to bust your bubble, but these guys are way off base here!!!

    Everyone knows that Santa uses the space-time continueum to do his travels around the globe. What were you thinking when you posted that scientific stuff that, you know as well as I do, is wrong, LMAO!!!

    You got to give them credit for trying though!!!
  7. Big Country01

    Big Country01 New Member

    phil you gotta be careful slingin' all those numbers around ypu could put ones eye
  8. TDawgNOk

    TDawgNOk Gathering Monitor (Instigator)

    Tulsa, Oklahoma
    I got this from a friend in my email the other day. After reading it, I can say I still believe in Santa. He just changes as you age into something more meaningful. :grin-big:

    I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. Even dummies know that!"
    My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her "world-famous" cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true.
    Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus?" she snorted...."Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad!! Now, put on your coat, and let's go." "Go where Grandma?" I hadn't even finished with my second cinnamon bun yet.
    "Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars.
    That was a bundle in those days. "Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.
    I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself.
    The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors,the kids at school, the people who went to my church.
    I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class. Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have a cough; he didn't have a good coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat!
    I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that.
    "Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down.
    "Yes, ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby really needed a good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

    That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of
    the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and
    ribbons and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it. Grandma drove to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one of Santa's helpers.
    Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going."
    I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present
    down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the
    bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.
    Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering,
    beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team. I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.
    May you always have LOVE to share, HEALTH to spare and FRIENDS
    that care...And may you always believe in the magic of Santa Claus!

    Merry Christmas to all my BOC friends and family!!!