Im whooped.... but I got a funny one for ya

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by sal_jr, Jun 27, 2007.

  1. sal_jr

    sal_jr New Member

    Messages:
    1,390
    State:
    Ithaca, MI
    Well first of all, Hello again.

    It has been a while since Ive been a regular bump around here... since February, actually. I did do a few intrim posts and this is no exception- it is another one of those.

    Im pooped, friends. Outright pooped.

    I promised to come back to the BOC when I got back to School. Well... Im there (or here?). Im also finding less and less time between working full time and taking a 670 level and a 680 level class at one time. Im taking what is essentially 1/6th of a masters degree in 8 weeks, to kick myself back in gear after 6 years of NOT picking up an academic book. I think I took too big a bite. Day 4 and my brain is WRECKED! I think part of the problem is that I dont speak a foreign language or have a crippling accent. From what Ive been able to ascertain, this is necessary of all professors in any masters-or-higher program... that english is your second language, AND you must punish all "domestic students" with your verbal bass-tudizations and social non sequitors.

    I gotta find a better way. Im studying till midnight, waking at 5:30 to go either jogging or bike riding, and working pretty close to fulltime BEFORE heading off to attend 4-hour block classes every day of the week... with weekends reserved for whatever happens to arise, usually family functions.


    Is there anyone out there who can balance equal time of feet-in-the-swamps and nose-in-the-books?

    Cripes! I havent even caught a cat since june 12th! I havent even fished since the 16th!


    Help me oh whiskerfaced Gods of the eddys and frogwater!


    LOL



    Woefully otherwise unavailable still,


    Sal Jr.


    OH AND ONE QUICK SCHOOL STORY..... HILARIOUS....:wink:


    Ok, so Im taking an e-commerce course and a managing diversity course. Among the 8 students in the e-commerce class are 2 japanese nationals, a chinese national, a (and Im not joking) a nigerian student, a fellow from Ghana, a chilean, a bitter white fiftysomething weighing 300something, and darling me.

    I am also taking a class in managing diversity. There are probably 40 people there but among them are the guy from ghana and the chinese girl.

    After Diversity class, I approached the chinese girl and said, "Well this is gonna be a bit better than e-commerce, thank God!"

    She turned around and noticed who I was, then said, (In a VERY HEAVY ACCENT) "I tink dis is duh tough crass! I cant figure out diversity or engrish ranguage! By the way is it dee-virsity or die-virsity that you say?"

    I smiled and said, "In the UK it is probably die-virsity, in the north of the USA it will be called dih-virsity, and in the south it will be called dee-virsity"

    She nodded and said "This engrish is so hard. You help me with the engrish stuff and this crass and I will teach you the computer stuff you need for udder crass, okay? Im great at math and computer. Not good any writing"

    "Fair enough", I said. "I suck at math so your help will be needed for the web design stuff. what'syour name by the way?"

    With a big and warm smile she extended her tiny hand and said in her best accent, "My name is Lay Ying zyou. It mean frower... but when the frower open up for you."

    I blushed, bit my lip and replied, "Lay...... I bet I would have guessed that meaning.......... My name is Sal- It means Im.... married." (the whole time Im replaying the "twins" scene from Austin Powers in my head over and over again)


    She smiled and said she'd see me "at crass" the next night and skipped off toward the library. I held myself together till I got in the truck and laughed the WHOLE WAY HOME.
    Im sure this would sound better in person but God was it just a riot to me.
     
  2. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,010
    State:
    TN
    Welcome home, Sal, although it is a short time. You work/study too hard. But hey, if you can do it, and live to tell about it, more power to you, bro.

    Glad to see you passing by.

    Take care.
    Cheryl
     

  3. rebelzgrl76

    rebelzgrl76 New Member

    Messages:
    1,359
    State:
    CO
    Now I got a big kick outta that! I completely understand where you're coming from! I have ran on pure exhaustion fuses before...and survived. I wish you all the luck I can possibly wish for ya..and with Lay:smile2:

    Oh and you been hanging around your young chinese girl too long...but woefully you wont start talking like her as well....woefully anyway:wink::smile2:

    Glad to have you back Sal, ya been missed.

    Wont be long and I'll be feeling the pains of seeking a second language to survive in this country we call America :eek:oooh:
     
  4. Kutter

    Kutter New Member

    Messages:
    5,379
    State:
    Arnold, MO
    Hi............bye.
    Who was that masked man?

    Oh, for your information, you've been replaced by your brother, Chris.
    Well, actually, he is a nice sort and we all had pity on him from the start, what with being related to you. He quickly passed you by, seeing as how he has actually caught a fish an all. He doesn't seem to have as much "yuppieness" in him, so we give him at least a 20-80 chance of learning to catch catfish.

    verbal bass-tudizations
    Ok, I'll bite.......What the heck are you talkin about? I think I've had a slur thrown right up on the pitch-top of my head. If there had been an appropriately located "R" located in there, I'd KNOW I was being slurred. Bad enough you had to go an use that darn green scaly word.
     
  5. BIG GEORGE

    BIG GEORGE New Member

    Messages:
    10,362
    State:
    JOISY
    Speakin of foriegn tounges and second languages. What in to hell are you talkin about? LOL! There ya go again tryin to impress us with the big words. LOL! I got most of the jist of your post. It pretty much says ya are burnin the candle at both ends tryin to do better for you and yours. Why not just say that. LOL!
     
  6. MRR

    MRR New Member

    Messages:
    4,947
    State:
    Louisiana,Mo.
    Darn it George you knowthem there College Boys don't speak our Language:eek:oooh:
    That being said Welcome back Sal even if it is for a short stay.Just take care of your self.Don't wear yourself to thin.Keep us posted on your progress.
     
  7. JAinSC

    JAinSC Active Member

    Messages:
    1,514
    State:
    South Carolina
    Good to see you stopping by, if only for a bit. You have been missed around here.

    Sounds like some real BS classes. E-commerce??? Managing diversity?!?! What happened to physics? chemistry? even English Lit would be more concrete. What ya working on, an advanced degree in Management Speak?

    I think I can count all of the English-as-first-language American TA's I ever had in school on one hand. Real shame. Guess there just aren't enough hard-working, needy, bright American advanced students to go around.

    Shame about the married business, Lay sounds like she could be a real fun study buddy. Then again, maybe you're better off - as you have so little "down" time available as it is...
     
  8. Pennsylvaniacatchaser

    Pennsylvaniacatchaser Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    11,341
    State:
    Sarver, Pa
    Sal - Nice to see you post!:big_smile: Better find a way to slow down or your gonna burnout. Also you need a good fishin' fix to keep you going! Maybe you can teach that Chinese girl to catfish!:eek:oooh::crazy::wink:
     
  9. daddio

    daddio New Member

    Messages:
    260
    State:
    kansas
    Well now that you mention language kansas just passed the law that english is the official language so now i have to bone up on my verbs adverbs nouns and the like in case i get pulled over by the cops no foreign language for me no way lol
     
  10. sal_jr

    sal_jr New Member

    Messages:
    1,390
    State:
    Ithaca, MI
    Well my bro could use the friendship down there in Mo. He's an inspiring fellow... and pretty dern funny too. It is just a shame that the winds of life have blown him all that distance from us all. I suppose I can share him with the south though. If only for a while.

    I take it that to you all down there in God's blessed swamp country that he's just a yankee where I was a damned yankee eh? :wink: ROTFL.... Ill hold onto my big phrases like "Verbal bass-turdization" then- Its not like I can be excommunicated from the south more than once can I? (excommunicated is more of a catholic word than a big word... I suppose that is equally unacceptable to the south too... but for different reasons) Its waaaay too "Kennedy". Waaay too "Giudo Sarducci".


    BOC TRANSLATOR:
    Verbal bass-turdization: "No speaka-de-engrish, but I test you on my gibberish anyhow and grade you on it."


    Ok... Back to the Chinese thing.

    I am never gonna mix up the importance of being a good husband to the blonde that I answer to on a daily basis with even the thought of some 80 pound chinese gazelle with a coincidentally dirty name. Elena would, as she puts it "haul off and sucker-choke me when I least expected it".

    She's from the old communist batch, guys and girls... those folks are ceartainly more advanced in their ways of bringing a fellow to humilty than they let on. While in public they're only yelling and banging their dress shoes on the podiums of world forums, in private they're sending detractors on the long slow train to an icy catfish-less wasteland-ski.

    Kansas just passed a law making English the official language? What was it before? What will that particularly accomplish? Does this mean I cannot watch old Speedy Gonzales cartoons without subtitles when I stay there? Im sure the mexicans are really sweating over that law. Oh wait... no- theyre sweating because they're actually doing labor there and no pasty whitefolk took their job yet. Oh well. Im glad you got that out of the way. At least it will diffuse the confusion... if there ever was any.

    JAINSC ... Yes. Its a MSA degree. Like I told my boss today. The only difference with or without the degree is that when I have the degree, everyone will have to stop what theyre doing when I talk and look at me. Then when I am done talking they can go back to ignoring me. Thats about it.


    Ok... gotta get back to class.



    Thanks for the laughs... I hope you got some too.

    Laughs, that is.
    Sal
     
  11. Kutter

    Kutter New Member

    Messages:
    5,379
    State:
    Arnold, MO
    Are you even capable of such an accomplishment?:crazy:
     
  12. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Messages:
    6,598
    State:
    Iowa
    You express yourself well. Don't think I could even pick up a textbook now. If someone would ask me to take a test now, I would ask them how much urine they wanted. Get the book learnin' but don't ever forget to be humble around the real people that you find on this forum
     
  13. sal_jr

    sal_jr New Member

    Messages:
    1,390
    State:
    Ithaca, MI
    Aww heck, brother.... Sometimes when my exams start I feel like peeing a little. Sorta like a chihuahua does when you yell at it.

    ROTFL

    thanks for the good words, reps, and encouragement.

    -Sal
     
  14. Kutter

    Kutter New Member

    Messages:
    5,379
    State:
    Arnold, MO
    Hmmm, just one more thing to add to the list with your name on it. lol