Idiots In The Neighborhood:

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Ace, Sep 7, 2006.

  1. Ace

    Ace New Member

    Messages:
    881
    State:
    Gastonia N
    This came to me in a email.



    I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

    The reason:

    "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!

    I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

    From Kingman , KS.
    ______________________________________________________

    IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
    He was a Chef?
    Yep...From Kansas City!
    ______________________________________________

    IDIOT SIGHTING:
    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,!

    "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?

    To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

    He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
    Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
    _______________________________________________________

    IDIOT SIGHTING:

    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street.

    I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.

    She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

    I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

    Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

    She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
    ___________________________________________________

    IDIOT SIGHTING:

    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.

    She was leaving the company due to "downsizing."

    Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."

    Not another word was spoken.

    We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
    ________________________________________

    IDIOT SIGHTING:

    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.
    ____________________________________________________

    IDIOT SIGHTING:

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"

    His reply, "I know - I already got that side."

    This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi !
    _______________________________________________________

    STAY ALERT!

    They walk among us . . . and they REPRODUCE


    It takes all kind of people to make up this old world .

    Ace



    :big_smile_2:

    :cat:
     
  2. r ward

    r ward New Member

    Messages:
    2,954
    State:
    Kathleen G
    What is so scarey those are probley true
     

  3. copycat

    copycat New Member

    Messages:
    1,841
    State:
    New Jersey
    Funny Ace! Ever tell someone they should "change the air" in their car tires every now and then, cause the air gets stale! LOL:lol:

    Try that one, some people will believe it! LMAO:big_smile:
     
  4. gcarlin

    gcarlin New Member

    Messages:
    1,353
    State:
    Richmond ,Indiana
    Well Ace, You Have A Point Brother . They Do Walk Among Us, I Just Wish They Would Warn Us.lol
     
  5. catfishjohn

    catfishjohn New Member

    Messages:
    10,217
    State:
    Greenup Co. KY
    When I worked in the garage,I told a couple people they needed to change the air in their tires from summer to winter air or vice versa.A few actually asked how much? :crazy:
     
  6. peewee williams

    peewee williams New Member

    Messages:
    3,111
    State:
    Pembroke,Georgia
    Come on John,Don;t leave us in suspense.Tell us how much you charged them.peewee-williams
     
  7. bubbajum

    bubbajum New Member

    Messages:
    278
    State:
    Monongahel
    Thanks I needed that.:lol:
     
  8. Love Them Cats

    Love Them Cats New Member

    Messages:
    454
    State:
    Vinita, Oklahoma
    I had a cousin I told that too and went outside a couple hours later and all 4 of his tires were flat and he was trying to figure out how to air them back up. :lol: :lol: :lol:

    The same cousin, his motor was rattling a little and I told him, he needed to put some oil in the motor.
    He filled it up all right!
    He took the cap off and started pouring oil in until he could see it inside the motor.

    Ken
     
  9. Coyote1

    Coyote1 New Member

    Messages:
    640
    State:
    Missouri
    Dear Brothers and Sisters;
    Not only do they walk among us, but as far as I know, in most States it's illegal to kill them too! Think of ........nahhhh! I better not say that, ... if I did I'm sure one of the staff would have to "slap me on the cyberwrist" and wash my "cybermouth" out with "cybersoap"!:lol:
    But, as usual, Brother Ace addresses a subject Very Well! :wink: :smile2:
    Keep more of those kind coming Ace, after I read one of those I actually feel Intelligent, almost to the genius level! And my body certainly enjoys the good laugh I get that releases all those good pheromones, endorphins, and other legal "Feel Good" substances in the body!! LOL :smile2:
    Ace, if you don't mind, I'd like to copy this one and send it to the printer for my wife to take to the hospital and anomalously post it in the employees dressing rooms! }:) <wicked evil grin> On THAT copy I will make sure any reference to you is removed, but on the copy I save I will leave the "credits" as they are. IF that is O.K. with You??
    If you want, PM me with your decision because I won't do anything until I hear from you on this! It's just not my style to "steal" others work!
    Cordially,
    Coyote1
    [[[[End of Post]]]]]
     
  10. PeZ

    PeZ New Member

    Messages:
    757
    State:
    Oklahoma
    lol now thats some funny stuff
     
  11. Pennsylvaniacatchaser

    Pennsylvaniacatchaser Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    11,359
    State:
    Sarver, Pa
    Great stuff Ace! Those are some real classics!:big_smile: