I wish you'd a been there... it hurts but it HAD to be funny to watch

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by sal_jr, May 30, 2006.

  1. sal_jr

    sal_jr New Member

    Messages:
    1,390
    State:
    Ithaca, MI
    So on my noon-to-one lunch hour I went over to the local theatre. It shut down last month and the owner is moving stuff out as we speak- He's been doing this just about every day. Today he asked if I'd give him a hand with one thing. As a friendly guy, I had no problem obliging... as a quiet guy, he didnt tell me what I was in for.

    Let me preface this- I move people for a living. I move homes and belongings for the 4th largest moving company in the world... largest residential moving company... worlds largest moving franchise system. I dont wish to give off the specific name cause it is irrelevant, but let me say also that I work as a manager for the original guy whose family started it all. I have also been doing this job off and on for 12 years, and yes... there is a lot of ego in with the experience.

    If anyone... ANY ONE tells you theyre moving a 1930s movie projector.... and you're offering to help on your lunch just to be a nice person... dont offer to help, dont be friendly. POKE THEM IN THE EYE, TURN, and Run for your life.

    Im tellin ya its the best thing you can do.

    So, We're upstairs and this 1000 pound bohemoth iron base is finally strapped to the rented dolly. I decide that since I can leverage a piano single handedly down a flight of stairs (and I have done it twice grudgingly and without damage) I can surely leverage this moose of iron and steel down there. And mentally I added, it will be especially easy, with a good 50 inch landing (separating only 9 steps at a time) to maneuver and a hefty nonbreakable concrete block wall all around.... right?

    WRONG.

    First step down, the weight of this thing cracked the solid rubber tire on the rental dolly, and since I was the only one holding this thing in place, the rest of the item was swiftly handled by the evil-B**ch-goddess named "Gravity", with lowly me the only projectile in this soon-to-be-catapult, and the only target, a space on the wall above the landing about equal with the top step...

    Fling-splat-thump.

    I hit the wall above the landing about 9 feet off the ground, then proceeded to fall and to impale my right arm on the iron spoke meant to hold the camera in position.

    After a few minutes of rest I went and rolled it down he other landing on an adrenaline rush.

    I feel like Wyle-E Coyote, but with more "super" and less "genius". I gotta check if this camera was made by "Acme"


    So here I am finishing off my work day behind a desk. Since durint the day, I normally work alone most of the week, it was not until 2:30 that I realized I have a rip in my shirt on my right arm and a nice blood stain, gently concealing the 2 inch gash on my bicep. My right knee is about 1.5 times the size of the left one.

    I currently walk like Im going to the bell tower to ring out my love for Esmorelda to the world.

    And that guy still is trying to get it out the front door nearly 3 hours later.


    Im ok---- I wont go to the hospy or doc or nothing, even though this surely warrants the trip... I just wanted y'all to visualize a 300 pound plus guy getting flung like daffy duck into a block wall.

    LOL.....
    Fwwwing! YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW- splat-woosh-thud.


    So share your moron moments! Has anything like this happened to you?
     
  2. tatersalad

    tatersalad New Member

    Messages:
    438
    State:
    Clover, SC
    that's the thing about Gravity, it works all day and it works hard.

    That's why i tell my wife, 'I am not over weight, there's too much gravity here.'

    :doubt:
     

  3. Doyle

    Doyle New Member

    Messages:
    582
    State:
    Illinois
    Sal, I'm glad you're still alive and kicking. It isn't fair that a guy trying to help out someone should pay that kind of price, but we always hear that life is not fair. I hope you heal up good.
     
  4. DirtyHowi

    DirtyHowi New Member

    Messages:
    68
    State:
    va
    dooooooooooooooood, that had to leave a mark...

    If it were anyone else i'd be rollin on the floor right now, and man i KNOW it musta hurt, but it's still flippin funny.

    I've had my share of accidents where my mind has wrote a check the body just can't cash, but never anything like that.

    kinda makes me glad i'm just a puter programmer.
     
  5. dademoss

    dademoss New Member

    Messages:
    524
    State:
    Ohio
    Sal,

    Glad you made it out in mostly one piece!

    Thanks for the warning, I will add "ancient projector" to the list of things not to move, above even the dreaded lead "loveseat recliners"
     
  6. channelcat_tracker

    channelcat_tracker New Member

    Messages:
    582
    State:
    Iowa
    first time i ever heard of being mean to a person but ill take it and one more funny thing: "lifes a b*$tch.......so just get over it":lol: i laugh at you. one more thing (im not being offensive) but that makes you sound dumb. but the first time is always an accident but the second round means your dumb!:lol:
     
  7. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Messages:
    7,680
    State:
    Shawnee OK
    sounds rough, sal - glad you're ok

    say, want to come and help me in the shop tomorrow? i have some pneumatic tools that make the job easier:0a10: :lol:
     
  8. peewee williams

    peewee williams New Member

    Messages:
    3,111
    State:
    Pembroke,Georgia
    Man O man.The grandson of the theater owner in Elloree S.C.was (and still is) my best friend.We had the run of the theater in the 50s.We loved to sit in the projector room as that seemed to make us very important.I remember the projector.What were you thinking of? I could understand if you were 16 and two dozen cuties were looking.You better thank God for gravity.You would never done it without it.Sounds like you may have been dropped on your head as a child.I am sure glad that you came out as good as you did.It would have been very easy to be crushed had things gone really bad.It sounds like some of the things that I have done.peewee-williams
     
  9. dreamcatcher

    dreamcatcher New Member

    Sorry to hear about that brother. I hope you recover quickly. I'm not picturing you flying through the air, but I can't get this image of Wiley E. out of my mind. ROTFLOL.
     
  10. SilverCross

    SilverCross New Member

    Messages:
    1,562
    State:
    Fairbury, Illin
    Sal, I can't help but chuckle thinking of you flying like that, especially the way you described it, glad you ok or will be anyway. Years ago as a young fella, I was putting a 500 pound tape recorder in a truck. I always drug them to the front of the truck, then laid them down and a final push to make sure it was all the way before putting the strap around. Yep, bent over, gave a shove and whoosh out the back of the truck like it was on fire. Truck had a 12 foot bed but I never slowed down till I hit the boss and landed on the ground. Ended up with gashes in my shoulder, spained ankle and four sprained toes, yep, felt really good. Only good thing about it when I exited the truck both feet hit the boss in the chest and down he went like a sinker on the end of your line. Well maybe I shouldn't say good thing, boss was a good friend, even after that.
     
  11. ka_c4_boom

    ka_c4_boom New Member

    Messages:
    2,252
    State:
    Bedford,Ky
    good to here yer ok really enjoyed the good laugh tho at yer expence sorry , ive had to many bumblin idiot moments to mention them all but heres two good ones the 1rst ....i was working at a plastics plant running a press that molded flower pots had a air hose come off of the top of the machine it whipped around like a big snake luckily i got it under control but not before being smacked in the head a couple of times then when i climbed up ten feet off the floor to reatatch the hose the clamp on the hose slid under my wedding band when i went to drop down there i hung OOOUUUUUCCHHHHH thought id loose my finger cut it three quaters of the way around needless to say that was the last time i wore jewelry .....2nd.....me and a freind where at his new farm rite after he bought it so nothing doing he had to show it off even though it was dark out and he was drunk ,that was my 1rst mistake i got on a four wheeler with him we proceeded at idle speed across the property thru the trees around the fence line he run over in a sink hole on the way in i grabbed a tree and tried to pull him off with my feet but no luck he rolled it upside down on top of him down 12 feet in this crater of hell the four wheeler died and so i thought him i dropped down in the hole grabbed the quad with my left hand picked it up reached down with my right and snatched him up on his feet he was ok drunk but ok later we had good laughs still dont no where i got the strength to lift that 500 lb four wheeler
     
  12. flathead willie

    flathead willie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,241
    State:
    Virginia
    I hope you didn't hurt yourself too bad. I have a great respect for movers. I wouldn't want that job.
    I learned my lesson the hard way too. Someone gave me a free piano a few years ago. They came to the house with it on a roll back truck and parked in my gravel driveway that sloops downhill. While the driver tilted the bed of the truck up, I figured I'd just put my shoulder against it and ease it off the truck. It went pretty well for the first six inches or so. That's when gravity took over and the next thing I knew I was on my back with one damn heavy piano on top of my chest. The guy had to use the winch and cable to get it off of me. After several hundred in doctor bills, I realized there is no such thing as a free piano!
    When I sell my house, I'll throw in the piano as a bonus! FREE!
     
  13. FS Driver

    FS Driver New Member

    Messages:
    2,323
    State:
    swansea,illinoi
    glad your mostly ok LOl you will probably feel like HE dbl. hockeystix tommorow though:big_smile:
     
  14. Larry

    Larry New Member

    Messages:
    707
    State:
    Minnesota
    Get better soon, Go see the doc if you need to.
    Good story, we all can relate to those out there "That just dont get it"
    thanks
    Larry
     
  15. MRR

    MRR New Member

    Messages:
    4,947
    State:
    Louisiana,Mo.
    :big_smile: AT LEAST YOU WASN'T HURT TOO BAD. YOU LOOK LIKE A PRETTY GOOD SIZED FELLOW. WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE POOR OL WALL. AND TO THINK ALL THIS ON YOUR LUNCH BREAK WHEN YOUR SUPPOSE TO BE RELAXING. YEAH RIGHT.
     
  16. RIP

    RIP New Member

    Messages:
    1,298
    State:
    Somerville, Tennessee
    Glad to hear your okay considering it could have been worse, you know like dead. Sure your going to feel sore for a few days, a good deed sometimes hurts. LOL I find I heal alot quicker when on the river bank you should give it a try. YOU EARNED IT.
     
  17. sal_jr

    sal_jr New Member

    Messages:
    1,390
    State:
    Ithaca, MI
    Day two...
    Just a bit sore. I got all cleaned up nicely, and the peroxide worked quite well. Thanks for the concern, folks... I am thankful for it, but the post was not meant for pity- It was my own penance: to take on the brunt of my stupidity by sharing it and sharing the laugh. :beat_brick: Yeah... big dumb idea. heh heh

    I found a new bruise- the other shoulder. It surfaced last night. Ahh well... the things we do to be a nice guy.

    Some of the stories here are pretty funny. It takes a lot of the embarassment away to know I aint the only one who still tries to change or challenge the laws of physics. Where is Scotty from Star Trek when you need him? "Ye Canna Change the laws of Physics, Jim!":roll_eyes:

    Phil... I aint moving your pnumatic nothin! Im all set. Fine and dandy. Nothing against you, I just picture you constucting a real pnumatic catapult just for me, and asking me to wear a "Super Dave Osbourne" outfit for the move day. "Just hop on here, libera....eh.... buddy!" ROTFL! :after_boom:

    Peeweewiliams said
    Well Peewee... I cant tell ya what I was thinking besides being a nice and helpful guy. At the same time I can tell you, like the proverbial moth that hits the windshield of the car, the last thing that went through my mind was my butt. :beated:

    MRR said:
    I left a scuff in the paint where my belt buckle hit it. I measured that last night after work at 7 foot 7 inches from the landing... And I was upright when I struck the wall, so my head hit around another 30 or so inches up. Beyond that, the crashing projector base hit the blocks and chipped just a quarter inch or so out... but nothing too serious, as the place is empty now.

    Today I will relax at lunch. A carnival moved in to the mall parking lot, so while Im on break, Im going to just sit here at the shop with a coke and a corn dog and watch the largest collection of frightening people on earth erect a muddled mess of steel and lights into a traveling show. They already broke into the mall yesterday and busted out a window, stole all the newspaper from the public stand, and filled all but 18 parking spaces for 7 businesses and two restaurants, mine included. Oh yeah... and the real employees of the tenants of the building still have to park too. I am guessing that this will be a very boring and desolate week.

    A good time to recover and hang out on the BOC till tomorrow when Im back on the road.

    I still have not read too many other "stupid human tricks"... so I will entice you with one more that was my fault entirely, but I did not get hurt-yet:
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Back when I was 12 or 13 I was really into playing street hockey. Since my grades were not so good one semester, my folks took my pads and sticks and roller blades and put em in the rafters of the garage above where my dad parked his car.
    Well, one friday I brough home proof of my good grades, so I called dad (who was up in Paradise, Michigan on a Whitefish trip with his friends) and using mom as proof of its existence, told my dad that I got my grades up and was planning on getting my stuff down and playing with the kids down the block.

    I got the OK, and mom went off to the store in her van while I called around to find out who had a game on.

    I walked out to the garage and lo and behold my dad didnt take his new car- a brand new Lincoln Mark 7- 3 days off the dealer lot.

    I opened the door to the garage and got into his car, put my foot on the brake (I didnt have keys but I figured I'd push it out), disengaged the parking brake, and put the car in neutral. With his door open I sat in the seat and using my left leg, I pushed the car while my right foot was on the ready, right next to the brakes. Upon 3 or 4 heaves, the car was rolling. So I pulled my foot back in and prepared to hit the brake when I was clear of the garage. One thing I forgot- to shut the car door.

    The car door hooked the garage door itself which bent the track of the garage door, which snapped back and hooked the car door, which pinched the car door between the garage door track and the bricks, which held nicely and firmly as the door to the 3 day old lincoln folded ever so gently outward at about a 90 degree angle.

    I then hit the brake.

    That was a tough phone call to make.

    I remember my dad not yelling or grounding me... instead he told me that one day he will get me back for it. He said that he has the rest of my life to reserve a good moment of payback. Some day, he said, you will not expect it and I will get you for this... mark my words.

    LOL. That was 15 or 16 years ago. He still has not said anything to me over it since then, but occasionally will remind me that he owes me one.

    Maybe later Ill post another one....

    Oh crap... this is forming a pattern. Yikes! :dribble: :dribble: :dribble:
     
  18. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Messages:
    7,680
    State:
    Shawnee OK


    hmmmm super sal osbourne....has kind of a ring to it, no?:lol:
     
  19. sal_jr

    sal_jr New Member

    Messages:
    1,390
    State:
    Ithaca, MI
    After yesterday, buddy... EVERYTHING has a ring to it.
    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  20. DirtyHowi

    DirtyHowi New Member

    Messages:
    68
    State:
    va
    Sal,

    Ya oughta call your dad and tell him that the cosmic karma cops took care of the car for him :):crazy: