I Need Moral Help Or Spiritual

Discussion in 'Prayer Request' started by tofish, Jun 3, 2008.

  1. tofish

    tofish New Member

    Messages:
    3,923
    State:
    arizona
    as some of my old post on here said, my dad had a bad accident last feb i think. almost died. they found then he has cancer in the bladder. also (spl)emphasema almost 100% in lungs. on oxygen all the time. today, he saw the dr. was told it'd spread and in his condition, no treatment for him. too far gone. gave him 2-3 months at the max. 2 months ago, they said a yr they thought.
    my question is, how do you handle this? i've 22yrs in the marines. lots of my close friends have died and i've got through them. thought i could do this. but this is different. i lost my brother to a accident in woods and got through it okay cause it was a accident.
    now i'm a cancer surviver myself, so know about it kinda. least as most do. but this hits close to home. do i steel myself like i did with my friends and get along? i'm lost on this one. thought i had it figured out. but i was wrong. are the dr's wrong?
    we've been planning for this, but not this soon. it's too soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    i'm venting cause i'm lost in my feelings. never felt like this before. always been able to control them.
    i've got to be down where i'm at to take care of grandson after his problem with epilepsy, but want to go to dad. torn between two.
    gary
     
  2. CountryHart

    CountryHart New Member

    Messages:
    10,914
    State:
    missouri
    Very sorry to hear this Gary. I was losing my momma to cancer and she lucked up and had a heart attack. I know that sounds terrible to say but God took her quick rather than suffer from the cancer. Prayers and hopefully he's not in pain.
     

  3. tofish

    tofish New Member

    Messages:
    3,923
    State:
    arizona
    i hear you john. i wish this also. want this to go fast. not the drawn out deal. seen that before.
    gary
     
  4. 223reload

    223reload New Member

    Messages:
    10,798
    State:
    Oklahoma
    Sorry to hear that ,Gary. Prayers for the family .
     
  5. ozzy

    ozzy New Member

    Messages:
    3,936
    State:
    Lost Wages
    Gary I lost my dad when I was 17, made me a man really quick. Wouldnt want to wish that experience on anyone. Prayers sent from Nevada Brother.
     
  6. arkrivercatman

    arkrivercatman New Member

    Messages:
    4,472
    State:
    KS
    Im sorry to hear that. My prayers go out to you and your father. I have been in your shoes before. I know what it is like. I literally watched my Dad die of cancer. Everything happened within 6 months. Two brain surgeries, many many seizures and many nights in the hospital. I tried to keep hope but after the 2nd surgery things got bad. I had never really seen him sick my whole life. I watched him lose over 60 pounds in a month.I had to grow up fast. I was only 21 years old and was as close to my Dad as you could be. He is the reason why I fish. I couldnt believe I had to say goodbye, he was only 49 years young and was in great shape.Thats the ugly part about life. You never know when, where, or why. I am still trying to figure it out. All that I can say is to be grateful for the time that you have shared with him and let him know how you feel. Its a long hard road, but it is a fate that we all will meet someday.Again my thoughts are with you Brother!
     
  7. slabmaster

    slabmaster New Member

    Messages:
    719
    State:
    missouri
    my dad died when i was 22 then i lost my grand pa a year later. in retrospect i wish i had spent more time with my dad . lung cancer is what killed him.i wish i would have told him more that i loved him. we both tried to be macho thru the deal . i will never place my self in that position again. prayers going up for you and your family in missouri.
     
  8. Catgirl

    Catgirl New Member

    Messages:
    13,546
    You handle it one day at a time Gary. You pray for strength and peace of mind. You cry when you need to. You let your dad know that even though you aren't right there in body, you're there in heart and spirit. I'm sure he understands what you are doing for your grandson.

    I feel your pain bro. Recently we were told that my dad had 7-10 days. Things turned around, but the feeling of hopelessness during the bad time was awful. Tell your dad how much you love him and don't hold back. It's obvious that you do very much.

    I will be praying for your father, you, and the rest of the family. Hang in there buddy.
     
  9. FS Driver

    FS Driver New Member

    Messages:
    2,323
    State:
    swansea,illinoi
    i dont know the situation you are referring to if you are saying your dad is away from you as in far away and your close to your grandson .
    if thats the case that is very hard . anyway you could have your dad close to you in his last days ? then you could be with both your son and pop at same time . maybe contacting social services to see about some short term help to make this a possibility churchs in your area might be of some assistance .
    the time frame doctors give are an educated guess and sometimes they are pretty accurate and other times they are way off .
    i have heard of people turning to alternative medicine for cancer and beat the odds i will keep your pop you and your grandson in my prayers .
     
  10. FS Driver

    FS Driver New Member

    Messages:
    2,323
    State:
    swansea,illinoi
    theres nothing wrong with venting . you are in a tough situation with no easy choices .
    we are here for you although we havnt the power needed to change anything
    we can together as god to help you and show you that your not alone .
     
  11. tofish

    tofish New Member

    Messages:
    3,923
    State:
    arizona
    i got some better word tonight. talked to my mom. what i had gotten was from dad. mom said dr never gave time limit. hospice wouldn't be talked about at this time. cancer has spread some, but not sure how much. not as bad as dad is saying. i know that he's got got less than a yr though. probably lots less. can live with that.
    mom says that he hears what he wants and nothing else. dang. wish he'd realize what it does to us kids. but he's dad so we live with it.
    please keep him and mom and sister and i in the prayers. we will need it.
    gary
     
  12. brother hilljack

    brother hilljack New Member

    Messages:
    7,305
    State:
    Shelbyville, TN
    God will provide you the path. Our prayers go out to you and your father. God Bless
     
  13. plainsman

    plainsman New Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    7,187
    State:
    minnesota
    I agree, its tough, I watched my big strong dad go down hill for quite a few years but he always bounced back. He had some tough battles in his life and finally just got worn out. I was there the last 12 hours, and not wanting him to go but not wanting him to prolong what was gonna happen anyway. Its not easy, but at least he's in a better place now. Leave it in Gods hands, and appreciate the time you have left.

    Doctors don't always tell patients the truth about how long they have left. One friend was given a long time by the doc, but his son asked the Dr and got the straight answer. The doctor wasn't fooling the old guy tho. He knew what was goin on and had everything in order.
     
  14. bw69r

    bw69r Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,816
    State:
    West Newton, PA
    Gary your father and your family are in my thoughts and prayers as are you. if you need to vent then you go ahed and vent . if you need anything ask. we all are here for ya.
     
  15. catfishjohn

    catfishjohn New Member

    Messages:
    10,217
    State:
    Greenup Co. KY
    Thoughts and Prayers sent from KY. You ever need to talk, shoot me a PM!
     
  16. Dredge

    Dredge Member

    Messages:
    754
    State:
    Arnold,Missouri
    We lost my mother to cancer of the lymph nodes.It was a fast speading form,too.When they gave her 6months to a year to live,she fought for nearly five.When my mother-in law's Parkinson's got too bad for her to get out of bed or feed herself,they said prepare for the worst.It's been nearly two years.Now, my daughter is her nurse at the home she's in.Sometimes things don't make any sense.All I can say is God has a plan for everything,and He never gives you more than you can handle,with his help.Yoyr family is in our prayers.God be with you in your time of need.
     
  17. catman4926

    catman4926 New Member

    Messages:
    1,602
    State:
    Texas
    Gary,

    there comes a time in everybody's life that something like this happens, this is where prayer comes into play. i do not know where you stand with god , this is what god said to you ,me, and everyone else " he who belive's in me, i will not leave you alone, to me these are very up lifting words and very strong ones. so keep praying and have faith and things will work out, i will be praying for you and your family, may god be with you in your time of need,
     
  18. firechief4201

    firechief4201 New Member

    Messages:
    1,055
    State:
    Catlettsburg, Kentucky
    Brother, I'll prayer for you. Sorry I can't even start to say I know how you feel. All I can say is that may your family and friends be with you and help all they can. I lost my mother back in Jan. of this year after a long battle. It was hard for me but I know shes not in any pain. I'm every sorry that all I can do is pray for you and your family.
     
  19. Flatheadhunter33

    Flatheadhunter33 New Member

    Messages:
    3,764
    State:
    Yuma, Arizona
    My prayers go out to you brother. Im praying for God to keep you and yours in strong and ever increasing faith.
     
  20. willcat

    willcat New Member

    Messages:
    2,463
    State:
    texas
    You just have to take it one day at a time, and if at all possible spend as much time as you posssibly can with him............