I have no idea what to do.. I need guidance

Discussion in 'Prayer Request' started by Wil, Jul 7, 2006.

  1. Wil

    Wil New Member

    Messages:
    1,746
    State:
    Minden Nebraska
    my girl just found out yesterday that when she was 9... she was raped by a man who has not yet been caught. im worried about her, she has stopped eating completely, and wont get out of bed, she just lies there all day and stares at the cieling and sleeps. we're 300 miles apart right now and i cant help her through this, she has stopped callin me like she usually does and wont answer when i call, she answered this mornin but only talked for 30 seconds, but some of the things she told me scared me, really scared me. i just got back from church after prayin for an hour with pastor, my mom wont take me down there to help her through this tough time, and even more added to her stress, her parents dont beleive her, she found out that she has diabetes yesterday, and her brother wont talk either and they dont know whats wrong with him, her parents dont beleive her and they called her a liar for this, and her step dad is abusive, shes never even met her real dad, im surprised shes lasted this long. its like shes lost the will to live, she said a lot of suicidal things this morning, and there is NOTHING i can do to help her. does anyone here know how that feels? watchin your loved one slip down the drain of death and all you can do is watch. i love this girl more than life itself i would do anything for her but theres nothin i can do to help her, i honestly dont think i can go on without her, shes helped me through a lot of very hard times and ive done that for her too but i cant fix this when we're 300 miles apart. she comes back in 2 weeks and i dont know if she will last that long. this is the wierd thing though. we have had 2 kids die in my class each 8 months apart, the last one in december, well august is month 8 and i dont know if i will last long if she dies, she is suicidal and scared of whats gonna happen to her. i need guidance, i dont know what to do i need help...
     
  2. teaysvalleyguy

    teaysvalleyguy New Member

    Messages:
    9,751
    State:
    GC, OHIO
    Just keep praying brother, it sounds like that is all you can do right now. I will do the same for her and you both. Even no one believes her on her end you know that God will help her through this. He always listens and he knows the truth. If you need to talk brother just shoot me a PM with your number and am always willing to leand an ear when needed.
     

  3. TxRiverman

    TxRiverman New Member

    Messages:
    324
    State:
    Lockhart Tx
    Try to be there for her,how you do that is up to you. I really dont know how to respond to your thread because i havent had to deal with anything that heavy. Im so sorry that your are having to deal with it. Stay strong!
     
  4. Ol Man

    Ol Man New Member

    Messages:
    3,170
    State:
    Illinois
    Man, you're 15 years old and everything that is happening has overwhelmed you. Back up, take a breath and try to attack this with a level head. You can only do what you can do. You can't do much from 300 miles. Get some counciling... a pastor, a teacher, a doctor or any other responsible adult. You can't fix her... she has to fix her... the only one you can fix is you.. and if I were you I'd start right now.. Good luck and we'll be praying for you...
     
  5. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Messages:
    7,680
    State:
    Shawnee OK
    keep praying, Wil, keep praying.
    the Great Physician can heal all.
     
  6. Arkansascatman777

    Arkansascatman777 New Member

    Messages:
    7,782
    State:
    AR
    Wil, You need to do the above and she neds to follow the same advice. Are prayers will be with you.
     
  7. Believer

    Believer New Member

    Messages:
    1,362
    State:
    Greenwood, AR.
    I'm a little confused by the beginning of your post, did you mean that you just found this out or she just found out?

    Either way, you have gotten some good advice. Keep a level head and pray!
    Everyone here will as well.

    Eric
     
  8. Wil

    Wil New Member

    Messages:
    1,746
    State:
    Minden Nebraska
    she told me yesterday after she found out

    and thankyou all for the advice
     
  9. renegadecatfishing

    renegadecatfishing New Member

    Messages:
    7
    State:
    missouri
    listen to your folks and to her. Pray for her, and give her some space to work this news out. Talk with skilled counslers that specilize in emotionial trama. I think everyone is thinking of you and her. Good luck to both of you.
     
  10. FishMan

    FishMan New Member

    Messages:
    2,293
    State:
    Tennessee
    You can't fix whats wrong, call her every day just to let her know you care and let her know that you will call every day. If you tell he you will call then make it very important that you do so as now she needs something she can count on. This is a tough one because she must do the healing. You might encourage her with thoughts of her return, The things you two can do together, give her something to look forward to. Like the other have said, slow down as time is your friend in this manner.

    Your smart for asking for imput. Remember it's OK not to know, it's stupid only when you don't know and refuse to seek. You may be hurting but you are on the right track. One of the most important things in life you can do is to care, Your headed forward. Good Luck
     
  11. Wil

    Wil New Member

    Messages:
    1,746
    State:
    Minden Nebraska
    once again thank you all, im beginning to feel better about this but im still worried
     
  12. da-cajun-angla

    da-cajun-angla New Member

    Messages:
    221
    State:
    louisiana
    Lemme Tell Ya...as U Get Older, Ur Gonna Have To Deal With A Lot Of Things U Don't Think Ur Gonna "make It Through"...its The Tests And Tribulations Of Life, And Its Also Just Part Of Life. Im Sure In The Future U Will Have To Go Through Things Worse Or Just As Bad As This. The Point Of All This Is That It All Comes Back To The Old Phrase: "what Don't Kill U, Makes U Stronger"...and A Lot Of Truth Is Said In It. Also, All Of The Hard Situations U Deal With Now, Are What In The Future U Will Look At When Another Situation Comes Up, And Even Though It May Be Bad, It's Not Comparable To The Situation You've Dealt With Before, And Therefore Is Not As Big Of A Deal As It Would Have Been Had U Not Had To Deal With The "bad,bad" Situation Long Ago. I Know Its Kinda Complicated Sounding, But Its The Best Way I Know Of Explaining It. I'll Give U A Example: When I Was 13, My Mom Had A String Of Nervous Breakdowns, One I Can Remember Is When She Said She Had Sinned And Needed To Cleanse Herselfe And Immersed Herself In Scalding Hot Water And Had 2nd Degree Burns From The Chest Down<---that One They Called A Religious Breakdown Or Something. Another Time She Had Put Her Head Through A Window And Arms, Then Picked Up A Piece Of Glass And Attempted To Cut Her Heart Out B/c She Said It Was Broken...pretty Freaky S#*t, I Know...believe Me, I Saw It All, And I Was Young Like U...ok Ok Point Being Is This: Im 27 Now, All These Things I've Lived Through(and Believe Me, A Lot Of Times Didnt Think I Would)have Moulded Me To A Point To Where All The Things Bad That Happened To Me Now After All That Were Nothing...compared To...see What Im Saying? Potna, Life Isnt All Roses...all U Can Do Is Be Strong, Dont Give In, And Hold Ur Head High...its All We Can Do...you'll Make It, But U Have To Know And Believe Things Will Work Out And Be Ok...and If They Dont, Then Cross That Bridge When U Get To It. And Another Thing...there's Always Someone Else Who Has Problems Way Worse Than Me Or U Ever Will...believe That!
    Hope This Helps,
    Shaun
     
  13. tatersalad

    tatersalad New Member

    Messages:
    438
    State:
    Clover, SC
    I dealt with depression when my first wife was suffering with it. The important thing is to do all you can to let her know you are there for her, and try to get her professional help.

    I know that this is hard, and that you are scared (I know i was). Just remember to take care of yourself as well. There are plenty of folks on the BOC to turn to if you need to talk.

    I know you don't know me from Adam, but I am here too. 803-675-4033 anytime, or PM your # if you want me to call.
     
  14. Dragger

    Dragger New Member

    Messages:
    538
    State:
    North Carolina
    Wil, Just put her in Gods Hands , he will handle it for her and yourself, just pray........
     
  15. Wil

    Wil New Member

    Messages:
    1,746
    State:
    Minden Nebraska
    i understand but u could help ur mom u saw her everyday, i dont see her everyday, even though shes 300 away right now shes usually 20 miles, and as high as gas is i havent been seein her nearly as much as i used to, and if ur mom had a breakdown no one would accuse her of lying like her parents do. ur mom's parents probably helped her through that hard time but khrystyan cant get proffesional help cuz her parents think she is lying.
     
  16. Wil

    Wil New Member

    Messages:
    1,746
    State:
    Minden Nebraska
    i dont want that to sound like im mad cuz im not, i was just sayin
     
  17. da-cajun-angla

    da-cajun-angla New Member

    Messages:
    221
    State:
    louisiana
    ACTUALLY POTNA, AT THE TIME OF ALL THE BREAKDOWNS, WE LOST OUR HOUSE AND EVERYTHING. I HAD TO GO LIVE WITH MY DAD FAR AWAY FROM MY MOM, AND GOT TO TALK TO HER ABOUT 3 TIMES A WEEK. AND NO, MY GRANDPARENTS DIDNT GIVE A S#*T...AND ITS NOT ABOUT COMPARISON...I WASNT COMPARING MY PROBLEM TO YOURS...GO BACK AND READ IT AGAIN, SERIOUSLY, READ IT 3 TIMES IF U HAVE TO... I WAS GIVING U A EXAMPLE...AND EXPLAINING TO U THAT WE ALL GO THROUGH TOUGH SITUATIONS...BUT U HAVE TO BELIEVE ALL WILL BE OK...A LOT OF THE TIME, ITS ALL U OR WE CAN DO.
     
  18. Wil

    Wil New Member

    Messages:
    1,746
    State:
    Minden Nebraska
    i knew i was gonna regret sayin that, jsut forget i said anything
     
  19. keith

    keith New Member

    Messages:
    44
    State:
    ohio
    Contact the police where she lives at, tell them that you want them to do a well been check on her, and explain to them what she had told you, they will talk with her, if they thinks she needs help, they will contact a mental health worker to talk with her, thats about all you can do for now.
     
  20. Wil

    Wil New Member

    Messages:
    1,746
    State:
    Minden Nebraska
    that wouldnt do much, shes gonnab e gone from there for 2 weeks still,