High cost of RESPECT

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by redneckdrum, May 23, 2006.

  1. redneckdrum

    redneckdrum New Member

    Messages:
    623
    State:
    kansas
    Dont mean to bore anyone with another one of my stories,but I refused to put my pride on the shelf Sunday afternoon.A good friend from church graciously gives me his blessing to fish his pond anytime I want.I've always believed that when you have permission to enter private property,like I just menthoned,you don't want to burn bridges and bring company along with you(or at least I never do) Anyway I made an exception that afternoon,a buddy of mine from across the street was'nt doing anything so I asked my friend if I can bring someone else along with me fishing on his property.He granted me his OK,the only rule he had was that we pick up our trash should we leave any (respect for another ones property,of course,thats the way it' done).......Anyhow,my across-the-street buddy was loading his gear in my pickup,including a cooler.I didnt think anything about it until we were about to drive off when he asked me to let him out so he can get into his cooler.10 seconds later,he hopped back into the cab with a can of Bud Light in his hand.I looked at him and asked him if that was the only can of beer he had,he told me"no,i have a 12 pack in the cooler.Without even thinking about my words,I put my foot down and told him "my friend who owns this pond is a devout christian so there ain't gonna be any beer drinkin'".All of the sudden ,he jumps out of the truck,grabs his gear(and cooler) and says "so long".He hasnt talked to me since,and probably never will again.

    No,this is not a sermon on alcohol or any thing like that,the point I was making is to show respect to someone that gives you special favor to share his property with you.If I was in my across-the- street buddy's shoe's,I would have left the beer at home for the 3 hours of fishing.Why it made him mad,me telling him about respect,I dont know.He may have an issue with chemical dependency,that's not for me to judge.In no way am I putting myself on a pedestal for my word's,but why can't people show respect anymore? I'm not putting anyone down here on the BOC,in fact all you brothers (and sisters)are some of the most respectale people I've come across in a long time.But I'm asking "is showing respect getting to be a lost art nowadays?" It doesent have to be like my situation,it could be other everday things in life,example,if you borrow a friends car show respect and put some gas in it.If you borrow your neighbors tools,don't bring them back all greasy,or,if you borrow money,for Pete's sake, pay it back!

    Did'nt mean to preach here or bore anyone.I was hoping I'd be the only one in the world with the situation I just described but something tells me I'm not.As for as my 'buddy's' concern,he can get happy in the same britches he got hurt in.If theres one lesson I learned this weekend,it would be 'Never Bite The Hand That Feeds You'
     
  2. flathunter

    flathunter New Member

    Messages:
    5,723
    State:
    Ohio
    I agree with you 100 percent!
     

  3. steve-o

    steve-o New Member

    Messages:
    214
    State:
    ohio
    one word: RESPECT!
     
  4. cook

    cook New Member

    Messages:
    1,494
    State:
    Plattsburg,Mo.(near K.C.)
    Well,you still have a good friend(pond owner) and lost a across-the-street buddy,I think you still came out on top.
     
  5. captain5214

    captain5214 New Member

    Messages:
    159
    State:
    louisiana
    your buddy should have asked you upfront about the beer.....and it does boil down to respect.
     
  6. jerseycat9

    jerseycat9 New Member

    Messages:
    2,544
    State:
    Oakwood Georgia
    I like to drink as much as the next guy.But I never mix fishin and drinkin cause if I wont go fishin without drinkin than I may as well got to the bar up the street and talk about fishin cause I dont need alcohol to have fun
     
  7. kccats

    kccats New Member

    Messages:
    634
    State:
    Olathe, Kansas
    You did the right thing.

    I had something simular happen to me but more personal than that.
    I unfortunately smoke.
    My wife does not. Out of Love and Respect for her, I never ever smoke in the house. Shortly after we were married, my Dad came over and fired one up in the kitchen. I asked him to step outside on the porch.
    Once he found out that he could not smoke in my house, he told me that he would never come over again.

    He lived less than a mile from me.
    He did not come to my house for a visit untill just a few weeks ago.
    It was 11 years.
     
  8. tatersalad

    tatersalad New Member

    Messages:
    438
    State:
    Clover, SC
    i don't know if it is lack of respect, or the 'instant gratification' society we live in. People just seem to want (and expect) everything RIGHT NOW!!!!

    redneckdrum, i know how you feel. but i think the situation worked out just fine. You still have the respect and friend ship of a fine upstanding man. And you found out exactly how much your friendship was worth accross the street.

    I think you did exactly the right thing!
     
  9. elphaba7

    elphaba7 New Member

    Messages:
    795
    State:
    Mo'town, WV
    I think the wording of your post says it all...your friend is the fellow who offered you the use of his pond. Your buddy was the one with no respect for your friend. Looks like no loss to me, you respected your friend. Good riddance to the other fellow.
     
  10. Dreadnaught

    Dreadnaught New Member

    Messages:
    5,444
    State:
    Henderson,Ky
    You did the right thing, anyone that would act that way is not a friend in the first place, no great loss!!!
     
  11. Doyle

    Doyle New Member

    Messages:
    582
    State:
    Illinois
    Communications are very important when dealing with friends. A friend who you might have a beer with in the back yard might not know you don’t drink and drive boat or car. If you are careful to be up front with your expectations of conduct with your kids, friends and relatives…. You might save making an enemy. All said, do I do it .. Probably not.
     
  12. catfishkatmando

    catfishkatmando New Member

    Messages:
    494
    State:
    Salem, WV.
    I am an x drunk but never drank when hunting or fishing. I hold no antomasity against social drinkers,your neighbor probaly wasn't thinking. Drinking is not a sin it's what you do when you are drinking that can get you in troble
     
  13. dwreel

    dwreel New Member

    Messages:
    554
    State:
    Southern Pines, NC
    Some people are just plain overly sensetive to being told they can't do something. In a sence, we are Telling them they have to change their life style. In a case like this, simply inform them what can and what shouldn't be done and choose your words very carefully. And make doublelly sure you explain to them why. Most people will understand. The secret is to "guide" them into the behaviour you desire.
     
  14. sal_jr

    sal_jr New Member

    Messages:
    1,390
    State:
    Ithaca, MI
    They hit it perfectly above, and I think you did the exact thing I would have done were I in that position.

    Of course, when I drink I'll have one beer here or two- and never in a vehicle.

    One drink makes a man a lion.
    Two drinks makes him a lamb
    After 3 he just makes an ass of himelf. ​

    -Old Italian Proverb​

    LOL... that goes through my head every time I lift a beer, just about! My grandpa used to say it all the time.:big_smile:

    Nobody needs friends who act like savages. Or aquaintences or buddies or whatever for that matter. My dad says all the time that if you hang around with geniuses, it tends to rub off. The opposite is the implication there in this case. You probably are bettering yourself by sticking to your guns at the expense of a better thing.


    Regards!
    Sal
     
  15. Arkie55

    Arkie55 New Member

    Messages:
    669
    State:
    Mississippi
    You sir, I commend. You made the correct call there. You were showing respect to you firend and his property.

    There are three kinds of respect.

    1. Respect of age.
    That is when we respect someone older and wiser than we are just because of their age and experience.

    2. Respect of position.
    That is respecting the office or position. Example, respecting the office of Senator but not necessarly the person holding the office at the time.

    3. Earned Respect.
    This is the type of respect we should all strive to have. You sir, just earned my respect for the respect you showed to your friend and his property. You stood firm. You didn't show any disrespect to you neighbor across the road by your request. If he is worth his salt, he will consider his reaction to your request and then apologize to you for his actions.
     
  16. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Messages:
    7,680
    State:
    Shawnee OK
    my hats off to you, John. you did the right thing. your neighbor should have asked before he brought the alcohol.
     
  17. peewee williams

    peewee williams New Member

    Messages:
    3,111
    State:
    Pembroke,Georgia
    He was not a buddy.He was a user.Your buddy was the pond owner.As for the 11 year Dad.He expected you to follow his rules in his home.You were right to ask the same of him.He did honor your rules in his way.I think it was the wrong way,but his right.I once said and meant that I would not visit in a home that I was expected to take my shoes off before entering.It was my right,BUT I was WRONG.I should have gladly honored the homeowners rule,unless I had a very good reason not to.I expect others to honor my rules in my home.peewee-williams
     
  18. olefin

    olefin New Member

    Messages:
    3,908
    State:
    Texas
    John you were correct. He was wrong. Had he been a man he would have asked before bringing beer to another persons property. To get mad over that, showed his true self.
     
  19. redneckdrum

    redneckdrum New Member

    Messages:
    623
    State:
    kansas
    Thanks for all the positive feedback from everybody.I feel a lot better about the situation..........WHEW!.........for a while there,I thought I was gonna git my butt whooped by somebody on this post(it could've happend very eaisly across the street Sunday afternoon.)
     
  20. peewee williams

    peewee williams New Member

    Messages:
    3,111
    State:
    Pembroke,Georgia
    Some things are well worth getting"whooped"over,and again,and again,and again for the rest of your life.Bruises will heal a lot quicker than a loss of respect.You respected the pond owner and were honest with your "buddy."Your "buddy" was well within his RIGHTS in his actions.A persons RIGHTS can often be WRONG.I do hope he will think it over and change his mind.I would think better of him.All rules should be POSTED up front as you did.You kept the pond owner from asking him to leave.I think that you "did him and the pond owner right."I feel that you had no other choice but WRONG.peewee-williams