Help a brother out. Prayer optional.

Discussion in 'Prayer Request' started by Fry Guy, Mar 4, 2006.

  1. Fry Guy

    Fry Guy New Member

    Messages:
    330
    State:
    Warrensburg Missouri
    Well here it goes. I never have been one to talk about my problems but sometimes you just gotta get it out, plus some of you have probably gone through this and may be able to help. I met my wife in highschool. I was best friends with her brother and still am. We started dating right after I graduated and were together for two "happy" years. I was a fire fighter at the time and always wanted to get into law enforcement so I decided to join the military to further my career options. We were married and moved here to missouri. After two years of marriage I found out that my wife had been less than faithful to me(with two people I disliked and two of my "best" friends that I had trusted for years) but I loved her and wanted to make it work still.(I was raised by amazing parents that have now been married for some 40 years and counting). I decided to try marriage counceling which she went to but the guy was a tool and didn't help at all. The last year went by as well as can be expected and I believed (or at least wanted to believe) than everything would work out. I didn't put her on lock down and demand to know her every move like allot of people do because I can't live that way and shouldn't have to even though I had a gut feeling that everything was not right. Well on our 3 year anniversary (Dec. 29) I found out quit on accident that she was shall we say being unfaithfull and she said she wanted to end it(which was really the only option in my mind). Well the more I find out the worse I feel I guess is the only way to put it. I guess she had been spending all my money on Meth. for like the last year and had been with this #@!$% for the last 7 months. Even after all this I have been nothing but nice to her, helping her move all her stuff(instead of burning it), paying her taxes she owed, paying her cell phone bill etc. etc. and now she is going around talking bad about me.(not that anybody listens to her) I just don't understand how someone can be so cruel and I don't know how I could be so blind but now my eyes are open unfortunantly. I just don't know what to do anymore.(kinda lost) I know this post is long but I just had to get that out. Your prayers and even thoughts are greatly appreciated.
     
  2. Lngbo

    Lngbo New Member

    Messages:
    622
    State:
    Marion Ark
    The best thing you can do is get the divorice and move on. The drugs have her. She has wasted enough of your time and money. You are being treated like a door mat and you do not deserve this. Esp if thee are not kids, get out of this relationship.
     

  3. pursuing_cats

    pursuing_cats New Member

    Messages:
    247
    State:
    Clarksville,Tennessee
    Fry Guy,
    I too have been in that situation myself(minus the drugs). I was married to this woman for ten years and was raised the same as you. Great parents and a great family. I tried to make it work, but I finally realized it was not gonna work so I cut my losses and moved on. She did the same and bad mouthed me all the time. They do that when they are trying to make themselves feel better. All I can suggest is to let her go her way and move on with your life. It will hurt for awhile but it will get better everyday.
    Just a quick quote for you refering to your friends who messed around with your wife( Keep your enemies close but Keep your friends closer) If you are in the military you will know what I mean.
     
  4. FishMan

    FishMan New Member

    Messages:
    2,293
    State:
    Tennessee
    don't walk out on her. Run, Run for your life, if you want a life. You can not fix someone. believe me I have tried. If you did right don't feel bad.

    Danny
     
  5. Terry Day

    Terry Day New Member

    Messages:
    298
    State:
    Parkville, Missouri
    Fry Guy

    I have been in a similiar situation also. Trust me - prayers are not optional in this case - they are a must. In my opinion they are the only thing that will help you make the transition needed in your life. I will place you on my prayer list. Don't worry about the bad-mouthing. Peolple will see through that! You need to concentrate on making you better. Don't spend anymore time or $$$ on a wasted cause. Sent me a pm anytime if you need to talk.

    Terry
     
  6. ryang

    ryang Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,338
    State:
    Blacklick, Ohio
    Name:
    Gary
    Like Terry said prayers are never optional, wether it be good or bad you can always pray for it and what does that hurt nothing in my mind. Fry Guy Ive never been in your situation but from how you describe it you have done everything in your power that you can. You can still help her but I would say to do it you may have to let go of her, keep her in your thoughts and let God take care of it.
     
  7. Netmanjack

    Netmanjack New Member

    Messages:
    3,734
    State:
    Ohio
    Ben, you may all ready be doing this, but when you get up every morning ask for Gods guidance through the day. Trust in Him and He will lead you out of this mess. He may not do it as fast as you would like so it's up to you whether it makes you or breaks you. Hang tough, and keep God in your heart.
     
  8. BigCatSteve

    BigCatSteve New Member

    Messages:
    638
    State:
    Huber Heights,Ohio
    man i would get your things and get as far away from her as you possibly can.the more you help the more she will keep taking your generosity and abusing it and you.If you two have no kids there is nothing more for you to do for her
     
  9. teaysvalleyguy

    teaysvalleyguy New Member

    Messages:
    9,751
    State:
    GC, OHIO
    Prayers sent bro, hope all works out for the best. Keep us posted.
     
  10. beeheck

    beeheck New Member

    Messages:
    631
    State:
    Iowa / Missouri
    Never been in that situation so I have no advice except that possibly some professional counseling for you, alone might help you see that your not to blame in this. Prayers on the way, stay strong.
     
  11. Gator

    Gator New Member

    Messages:
    1,116
    State:
    Ludowici GA
    Bro you know you have our prayers with out any questions. Just keep in mind it takes two to make a marriage work. A marriage has 3 parts spiritual, mental and physical, if any one of these are not “doing well” then the other two are not doing well either. I don’t know the whole story and it is not my place to pass judgment. But I will say this much and pray I don’t upset you with this but, if she is not happy then you will never be happy. It is in god’s hands let him tell you what you need to do but, if it were me and based on what you have told us here, I would have to let her walk.
     
  12. Mutt

    Mutt Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    18,942
    State:
    Ca
    Name:
    Mutt
    Like has been said get out now. dont look back also dont do anothe thing for her if your paying her cell bill stop your paying any other things stop get that divorce and get out before she cleans you out. once a doper always a thief my x is still trying to leach off of me and my wife and we have been divorced for 20 some odd years. sure wish the judge would throw her in jail for wasting court tiime.
     
  13. bubbajum

    bubbajum New Member

    Messages:
    278
    State:
    Monongahel
    Fry Guy

    In Jesus name I pray that the Lord will bless you with a clear understanding of what you need to do. Do not be afraid to cry out to him and don't forget you have brothers here. If you have the faith, God will give you his grace.
     
  14. redneckdrum

    redneckdrum New Member

    Messages:
    623
    State:
    kansas
    Prayer & faith in God Almighty is the only way to go.Just remember,He has your life planned-out for you.He knew you even before you were formed in the womb(Jeremiah 1:5).He knew what you would be going through in life,and He also has a plan to see you through all this.Don't mean to sound like a preacher,but thats the way it is.Prayers comin' from Kansas to you.

    Trust in the Lord with all thine heart & lean not unto thine own understanding (Proverbs 3:5)
     
  15. Catbird

    Catbird New Member

    Messages:
    294
    State:
    Fayetteville, Ohio
    Drop her like a hot potato and never look back. If you have kids, take them with you because they don't deserve a mother like that.
     
  16. SilverCross

    SilverCross New Member

    Messages:
    1,562
    State:
    Fairbury, Illin
    My prayers are with you. Now get on with your life and forget about her. If she was my wife she would have had road rash the first time, from being tossed out the door into the drive and all her stuff following her. Blame it on drugs or what ever, but to me a whore is a whore, there are to many good ones to waste time and money on the bad ones. God Bless you and hope you get on with a happy life.
     
  17. FS Driver

    FS Driver New Member

    Messages:
    2,323
    State:
    swansea,illinoi
    prayer comeing from illinois.
    id say get out while the gettins good.
    i dont know your financial situation but if your still married to her you are probably responsible for her debts. get it over with and move on .
    yes you probably still love her but the way it sounds your getting hurt
    and will continue to be hurt and lifes too short for it.
    there are other women out there and prayer is definently good
    dont just pray for things to get better pray thanks to god for giveing you
    the head on your shoulders to see the problem and thank him for makeing you a good man.
    you can only help those that want to be helped.
    as far as her bad mouthing you she does this to make herself feel somehow justified in what she has done to you.

    cut and run brother get your finances in order and get out
    i wouldnt stay in the same state , unless you got a killer job.
    start fresh somewhere else. DOPE SUX:mad:
     
  18. catfishbill33

    catfishbill33 New Member

    Messages:
    356
    State:
    Clarksville, TN
    Hello Fry,
    I have been a pastor for a number of years and have been married for soon will be 53 years and have seen terrible things happen.But there are some things that we would like to fix and cant.Because situtations prevail and some people will not let it happen.God is always present and will help if we will just be patience and move on with our life.Dont let someone else ruin you life when they wont listen.You sure have my prayers.
     
  19. redhawknc1

    redhawknc1 New Member

    Messages:
    17
    State:
    North Carolina
    Hello Fry,
    Don't really try to assume what is best for you, but life is short! You are the victim in this relationship. Hopefuly you can go on and have a good life. She is the only one that can fix her life. My prayers will be with you!
    Wayne
     
  20. Fry Guy

    Fry Guy New Member

    Messages:
    330
    State:
    Warrensburg Missouri
    Thank you so much for all your support guys. It means allot. One of the few things I can be thankfull for is that we do not have kids to put through this ordeal. I have decided to cut my losses and get a divorce. Not that I really had an option because she is already living with her boyfriend. (who lives with his parents, a real winner). Once again thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Best wishes to all of you.