Great Truths of Life

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Boomer, Oct 10, 2009.

  1. Boomer

    Boomer New Member

    Messages:
    1,037
    State:
    Oklahoma
    Someone sent this to me today, thought I might pass it along.... Hits home...

    Great Truths Little Children have Learned

    1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
    2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair
    3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
    4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
    5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
    6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
    7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
    8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
    9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    10. The best place to be when you're sad is in Grandpa's lap.

    Great Truths that Adults have Learned

    1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
    2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
    3. Families are like fudge...ostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it ground...
    6. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

    Great Truths About Growing Old

    1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
    4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
    5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobdy bothers to ask you the questions.
    6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
    7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

    The Four Stages of Life:

    1. You believe in Santa Claus.
    2. You don't believe in Santa Clause.
    3. You are Santa Clause.
    4. You look like Santa Clause

    Success:

    1. At age 4 success is...not piddling in your pants...
    2. At age 12 success is...having friends...
    3. At age 17 sucess is...having a driver's license.
    4. At age 35 success is...having money
    5. At age 50 success is...having money...
    6. At age 70 success is...having a drivers license.
    7. At age 75 sucess is...having friends...
    8. At age 80 sucess is...not piddling in your pants....








     
  2. JEFFRODAMIS

    JEFFRODAMIS New Member

    Messages:
    2,537
    State:
    TEXAS
    good stuff bud :big_smile:
     

  3. pk_powell

    pk_powell New Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    State:
    Missouri
    Thanks for sharing,and reps to ya!!:big_smile:
     
  4. flathead willie

    flathead willie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,241
    State:
    Virginia
    Here's one truth I try to live by:

    "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose!"