Gothic Poetry

Discussion in 'Art Appreciation' started by RisenDevil, Oct 10, 2006.

  1. RisenDevil

    RisenDevil New Member

    Messages:
    56
    State:
    Indiana
    :hell_boy: Ok folx ,

    Forgive me if this too depressing for the B.O.C. brothers and sisters . As I have mentioned in other places in art apreciation I like to think of myself as a Gothic Poet at times . I thought I would try to share a little with you and if you like it you can ask for more and I will try to supply . I do ask that you respect my work and if it is copied or used anywhere else without my expressed permission I will be rather upset to say the least .

    The first selection is called "Back Home" and the subject is about mistakes from the past being realized and a determination to correct them .

    I hope you enjoy and by all means please give me some feed back as to whether or not you want to see more ., And whether or not you think it's any good and why you think it .
     
  2. RisenDevil

    RisenDevil New Member

    Messages:
    56
    State:
    Indiana
    Back Home

    I want to go back home again
    I want to step rite back through time
    I want to reclaim the life that I once knew
    And make it once again mine
    I miss the way that things used to be
    How happy my life was then
    Before the death's of my loved ones
    Or the betrayals of my so called friends
    When I think back on all of my past mistakes
    I say "If I only knew then ..."
    All of the things that I now know
    Before it started it would come to an end
    No stepping through the wrong doorways
    Or choosing of the wrong paths
    No instead of saying a few kind words
    Looking down on hurt friends with a laugh
    Yes it's true I've made bad choices
    In my life I've made more than a few
    Do you ever wonder about your life ?
    How many have been made by you ?
    Did you ever choose the wrong words to say ?
    Or turn you back on a friend in need ?
    Or have sad regrets about the things you've done
    Turn on your insides and make them bleed ?
    Well I myself am tired of all of that
    Some how I'm gonna make it all rite
    It doesn't matter who or what I have to face
    It's gonna be in for a fight
    Because I'm going to go back home again
    I'm going to step back through time
    I'm going to reclaim the life that I once knew
    And make it once again mine .
    Well ... that's it . Let me know what you think . Even if you hate it .​
     

  3. Ardiva

    Ardiva New Member

    Messages:
    247
    State:
    Kenai, AK
    Bravo, Jeff! Wonderfully done! :big_smile:
     
  4. RisenDevil

    RisenDevil New Member

    Messages:
    56
    State:
    Indiana
    I'm glad you liked it .
     
  5. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,010
    State:
    TN
    Great poem!

    But I don't want to go back in time. Never ever.

    Take care.
    Cheryl
     
  6. RisenDevil

    RisenDevil New Member

    Messages:
    56
    State:
    Indiana
    Glad you considered it either way . :cool2:
     
  7. RisenDevil

    RisenDevil New Member

    Messages:
    56
    State:
    Indiana
    I decided since I didn't get any negative feed back I would post another one of my not so gothic works . It's on the subject of a family I know with war vets from each of the wars we've been involved in the states since w.w.2 . Not very long . As usual please gimme some feed back .

    American Son

    From boy to man
    From toys to guns
    From a kid at play
    To an American son
    From shooting b.b.s at cans
    To shooting fellow man
    Wondering why and how
    That it all began
    Running through the jungle
    Or beneath a desert sun
    Only one thing is certain
    No more childlike fun
    From boy to man
    From toys to guns
    From a kid at play
    To an American son
    Hope you like it :cool2:
     
  8. Catgirl

    Catgirl New Member

    Messages:
    13,546
    Mornin' Jeff. This is the first thread I chose to read today after I logged on, and I'm glad I did. "Back Home" - I think you expressed your thoughts here very well, the need to reclaim innocence and wipe the slate clean. To me it's an inspiring poem, not a downer. Reading it makes you wanna take a look at your life, and hopefully go forward striving not to make the same mistakes. "American Son" - that one's really about lost innocence too, but due to the wages of war. The situation our country is in makes this one a bit more depressing to me at the moment, but that's the great thing about poetry. In just two poems, you have managed to make my emotions run the gamut. Life is too short not to FEEL things, or hide from 'em when you do. Good work, buddy. Keep postin' and we'll keep readin'. :smile2:
     
  9. RisenDevil

    RisenDevil New Member

    Messages:
    56
    State:
    Indiana
    Now I'm blushing . Thank you :embarassed:
     
  10. mudkat

    mudkat New Member

    Messages:
    96
    State:
    Nebraska
    awsome poetry man
     
  11. buckshot

    buckshot New Member

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    13
    State:
    kansas
    its pretty good i giess u should send some more of your poems
     
  12. RisenDevil

    RisenDevil New Member

    Messages:
    56
    State:
    Indiana
    Thanx for the kind words ,

    Keep watching . I am getting braver with each post :crazy: . I will be putting more I'm sure .
     
  13. pk_powell

    pk_powell New Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    State:
    Missouri
    I appreciate you for sharing these poems.They are excuisite! You must keep doing this as I see you are a talented writer!Thank you for sharing!:big_smile:
     
  14. Ghoulscout 13

    Ghoulscout 13 New Member

    Messages:
    293
    State:
    North carolina
    here is one for you

    Cylinder

    Love me,
    hate me,
    Kiss me,
    kill me,
    now its all the same,
    I wish i could take away all the shame,
    a little copper cylinder,
    holds my chance to die,
    tears apart my soul,
    eats my heart and mind,
    pull the trigger slowly,
    till im gone away,
    Down falls the cylinder,
    and with it all the shame,
    like slow motion poetry,
    it falls threw the air,
    the day i finally seice to care.


    it was written at a very bad point in my life, as was all my poetry, guess thats why i havent been writting much.:tounge_out: ​
     
  15. eggman

    eggman New Member

    Messages:
    194
    State:
    Jefferson City, Missouri
    Hey Ghoulscout, Kurt Cobain would of loved that one......:cool2:


    egg
     
  16. RisenDevil

    RisenDevil New Member

    Messages:
    56
    State:
    Indiana
    Devin ,

    Thanx for shareing man. That is a very good example of goth poetry . Very depressing :sad2: I've been trying to avoid the really depressing stuff I've written for this site because I didn't quiet know how it would go over in here . You were braver than I . :tounge_out: But now that you have broken those grounds and treaded the dark water I will probably be adding more . And just so you know I really (although it was indeed very depressing) enjoyed your work .

    Jeff