Good laugh for my fellow Kansas Catmen

Discussion in 'LOCAL KANSAS TALK' started by KC Jayhawk 78, Feb 15, 2006.

  1. KC Jayhawk 78

    KC Jayhawk 78 New Member

    Messages:
    3,236
    State:
    Kansas City, Ks
    Don't Fart in Bed

    If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know

    and I'll pray for you.

    This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

    The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting

    loudly every morning when he awoke.

    The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water

    and make her gasp for air.

    Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because

    it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was

    perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that

    one day he would blow his guts out.

    The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

    Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for

    dinner

    and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had

    put th! e turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts

    and a malicious thought came to her.

    She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep

    and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic

    waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into

    his shorts.

    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting

    which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic

    footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control

    herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After

    years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

    About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his

    bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her

    lip as she asked him what was the matter.

    He said, "Honey, you were right."! "All these years you have warned me

    and I didn't listen to yo u."

    "What do you mean?" asked his wife.

    "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts

    out, and today it finally happened.

    But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got

    most of them back in." :)
     
  2. bigbearfireman

    bigbearfireman New Member

    Messages:
    55
    State:
    Lawrence,ks
    MAN that is good lol. I guess you can say that would bring about a whole new way of being stuff for thanksgiving.
     

  3. Cat-Man

    Cat-Man New Member

    Messages:
    1
    State:
    North Carolina
    Man That Sucks For Him. I Hope When I Get Marriad My Wife Don't Hear About This. Lord My Guts Would Be Falling Out Every Day Thank Goodness For Beno.:)
     
  4. barbel

    barbel New Member

    Messages:
    486
    State:
    Somewhere
    HAHA! Thats a good one Cat-man! I haven't heard one like that in quite a while. VERY nice find :D
     
  5. Desperado

    Desperado Active Member

    Messages:
    1,244
    State:
    Pataskala, Ohio
    Name:
    Clarence
    LOL...Thats a great one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  6. kspor

    kspor New Member

    Messages:
    716
    State:
    Wichita Kansas
    Too Funnyyyyyyyy!:)
     
  7. Crispy Critter

    Crispy Critter New Member

    Messages:
    431
    State:
    Missouri
    That's funny over here in Missouri too. ROFLMAO!
     
  8. kccats

    kccats New Member

    Messages:
    634
    State:
    Olathe, Kansas
    I am not one for jokes in general. Especially ones that could be viewed as being distastefull.
    Lord forgive me... I laughed so hard I farted.
     
  9. KC Jayhawk 78

    KC Jayhawk 78 New Member

    Messages:
    3,236
    State:
    Kansas City, Ks
    Chris , I havent seen you around the BOC for awhile , Im glad to see you back. I hope we here from you more often now. Hope to see you on the flats at Olathe Lake this spring. :)