Glorious insults

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by ldw45, Jan 29, 2008.

  1. ldw45

    ldw45 Member

    Messages:
    487
    State:
    Illinois
    These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still
    valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to
    4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.
    _____________

    The exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor:
    She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you
    were my wife, I'd drink it."
    ----- -----
    A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows
    or of some unspeakable disease."
    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or
    your mistress."
    ----- -----
    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
    ----- -----
    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." --
    Winston Churchill
    ----- -----
    "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill
    ----- -----
    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading
    it." -- Moses Hadas
    ----- -----
    "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
    know." -- Abraham Lincoln
    ----- -----
    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of
    it." -- Mark Twain
    ----- -----
    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar
    Wilde
    ----- -----
    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
    friend.... if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
    "Cannot possibly attend first night, ill attend second night... ....if there
    is one." -- Winston Churchill, in response.
    ----- -----
    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." --
    Stephen Bishop
    ----- -----
    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
    ----- -----
    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." --
    Irvin S. Cobb
    ----- -----
    "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." --
    Samuel Johnson
    ----- -----
    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
    ----- -----
    "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." -- Robert Redford
    ----- -----
    "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
    knowledge." -- Thomas Brackett Reed
    ----- -----
    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." --
    Charles, Count Talleyrand
    ----- -----
    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest Tucker
    ----- -----
    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar
    Wilde
    ----- -----
    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... ...for support
    rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
    ----- -----
    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
    ----- -----
    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. ... But this wasn't it." - Groucho
    Marx
     
  2. JAinSC

    JAinSC Active Member

    Messages:
    1,514
    State:
    South Carolina
    Excellent. Excellent!

    Thanks for several very good laughs!
    I'm going to have to copy those and keep them handy for future reference!
     

  3. oh no

    oh no New Member

    Messages:
    11,108
    State:
    Indiana
    Good Show Old Boy, A rather amusing collection. Bloody well written.

    :smile2::tounge_out::smile2:
     
  4. Scott Daw

    Scott Daw New Member

    Messages:
    2,002
    State:
    Allentown, Pennsylvania
    I have two good ones but neither are appropriate for a family forum.
     
  5. Mickey

    Mickey New Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    14,592
    State:
    Illinois
    Thanks Dean. That is some neat statements. I liked the shiver waiting on a spine to run up.
     
  6. Plowboy411

    Plowboy411 New Member

    Messages:
    918
    State:
    Georgia
    that is a good read thanks.