Darwin Award 2007 winners

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by Phil Washburn, Jan 6, 2008.

  1. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Shawnee OK
    Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners for 2007:

    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
    victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber
    James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down
    the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

    And now, the honorable mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
    meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a
    claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent
    out one of its' men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and
    he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
    car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
    woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
    driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
    transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
    his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
    everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to
    the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
    excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
    discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from
    serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
    received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to
    see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
    counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
    the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
    the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
    fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
    got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you
    money, is a crime committed?)

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
    that he'd just throw a cinder-block through a liquor store window, grab
    some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder-block and heaved it over
    his head at the window. The cinder-block bounced back and hit the
    would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store
    window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
    grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called "911" immediately, and the
    woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
    Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
    car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
    and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
    officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    (And they wonder why tigers eat their young!)

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
    a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
    demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
    open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
    rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
    frustrated, walked away.


    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
    parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.
    Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
    motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
    admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
    the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
    declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever
  2. postbeetle

    postbeetle New Member

    Thanks Phil. Needed a picker upper this a.m. John.

  3. 223reload

    223reload New Member

    sounds like they need to be taken way away from the gene pool.:big_smile:
  4. Wabash River Bear

    Wabash River Bear New Member

    Yea, I got to agree with Richard. Sometimes ya got to thin the herd.:wink:
  5. smokey

    smokey New Member

    My goal in life is NOT to be on the Darwin list!! so far so good.smokey
  6. 223reload

    223reload New Member

    I just heard this today about a couple fellas I know: These guys caught a rather large bobcat and since they hunt lions with thier dogs ,They decided to keep it in a pen and train thier dogs with it [it gets better]While feeding said cat it escaped,climbing and clawing from head to toe one of these idjets,go figure,he told someone 'I cant figure why it attacked ME'.
  7. CoonX

    CoonX Member

    Oklahoma City O
    Hold up, the 2007 Darwin Awards are still being tallied.

    Here's a 2007 hopeful;

    "What goes up must come down."

    (20 June 2007, South Carolina) A 21 year-old couple was found naked in the road an hour before sunrise by a passing cabbie. The unconscious, injured pair was taken to the nearest hospital, where they died without regaining consciousness. Authorities were at a loss to explain what had happened. There were no witnesses, no trace of clothing, and no wrecked cars or motorcycles.
    Investigators eventually found a clue high on the roof of a nearby building: two sets of neatly folded clothes, and nothing else. There was no indication of foul play, only of foreplay. "It appears as if [they] accidentally fell off the roof," Sgt. Florence McCants said.
    Safe sex takes on a whole new meaning when you are perched on the edge of a pyramid-shaped metal roof.
    This is a true Darwin Award trifecta: TWO people die, WHILE in the act of procreation, due to an ASTONISHINGLY poor decision. Bottom line: If you put yourself in a precarious "position" at the edge of a pointy roof, you may well find yourself coming and going at the same time.
    I have a feeling that this will be the 2007 Darwin winner

  8. peewee williams

    peewee williams New Member

    Me too!!!!

    The Darwin list does lend credibility to the belief in evolution that some come from Apes,Opossums and got their brains from Worms.If we don't do such as on the list did,we must have come from a line that was created!

    I like you,do not want to be on that list,for the whole world to know.

    I think we all are on someones "Darwin list".Some I am very thankful for.When I think about all of the stupid things that I have done in life,I am at the very head of my list!

    I like to think that being that I am stupid and that I know it,that makes me smarter than those that are stupid and don't know it.Other times I don't even think that I am smart enough to be stupid.

    I find amusement in those that keep referring to how smart they are.If they really believed it or thought anyone else believed it,they would have no need to keep reminding or telling everyone including their selves.If they don't believe it,why do they expect me to?Possible "Darwin list" mentality?

    I love you Brothers and Sisters.peewee
  9. peewee williams

    peewee williams New Member


    Sounds like the kind of folk who are always telling everyone how smart they are.

    Now I do believe that society let these two down.There is no way that folks who knew them did not realize that some one this far gone did not have a bucket full of loose screws and a flock of scattered Ducks loose in their brains.Some things are just impossible to hide for 21 years!This kind of judgment is one of them.They use to lock them up for their own protection.

    Now they could have been students and taught to do such.That would explain the idea,but not the stupidity of doing it .(See below).

    Of course!I bet some Shrink declared them ill until their insurance ran out and then Eureka!They are cured!I know that this happens as it happened to a family member that I love.This is also why I know what is wrong with some of our youth.This family member has not changed a bit that I or others can see,but is now a teacher in the public school system.I believe her to be teaching and passing on her idea's as all teachers do to the younger teenagers.This troubles me greatly as I do not understand how such could be mentally ill,a danger,then normal and fit to teach shortly thereafter and ever since.

    Can you imagine the mentality of the offspring had these two lived to reproduce?

    Worst of all,look at what this had to do to the ones who really loved them.There lies the worst tragedy of all.All of their pain was senselessly cast on them by this pair.:sad2::sad2::sad2::sad2:

    I love you Brothers and Sisters.peewee
  10. Wil

    Wil New Member

    Minden Nebraska
    thanks for that brother
  11. Flintman

    Flintman New Member

    OKC, OKLA.
    Good stuff Phil. Thanks for a good belly laugh.