Cub Scout Dilemma/Rant

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by elphaba7, Jan 22, 2006.

  1. elphaba7

    elphaba7 New Member

    Messages:
    795
    State:
    Mo'town, WV
    Okay, everyone. Most of you know that I have 8 year old twin boys, in scouts for the first time this year. We have participated in each of the activities so far, and even stepped in as leader for two of the meetings when our leader could not be there for a family emergency. In fact, the leader has been absent for more meetings and events than present due to the family illness that she is dealing with. No complaints from me, I understand that family comes first, and these things happen.

    What my complaint is, is that her husband is incredibly rude and unfriendly towards me. The final straw for me in this situation was yesterday afternoon at the Pinewood Derby where he looked straight at me and my husband, and did not acknowledge us. Now, I have actually spoken to this man before, once at the Junior Ranger hike, and once when I bumped into him at the mall during the holidays. He does not smile, answers in monotone when you speak to him, and will not really look at you during the "conversation". In the past, I simply attributed it to him being "backwards". However, yesterday, we passed each other in the bathroom hallway at the mall, and I smiled and said hello to him, and he only stared at me with a rude look, then looked away!:mad:

    Now, I am wondering if he is a weirdo, a butthead, or does not like me for some reason. The scout meeting is at the leaders house this Thursday, and I really do not want to go because of her husband. Do I just ignore the man and go, or ask should I mention something to the leader, or should I approach the man directly? I am not comfortable at the thought of going to this man's house, but I feel badly about making the twins miss scouts.

    Any help? Suggestions?:confused: :sad: :crying:

    Thanks for listening.
     
  2. Dreadnaught

    Dreadnaught New Member

    Messages:
    5,444
    State:
    Henderson,Ky
    Sounds like he needs an attitude adjustment to me!!! I have applied these to a few people like him in the past and they seem to work wonders. And this moron seems like a good candidate for a double session, LOL!!!

    Jen, Don't let him ruin something like this for you, I know I wouldn't. Ignore his happy A__ for a while and see how he likes it.
     

  3. Cyclops01

    Cyclops01 New Member

    Messages:
    578
    State:
    Eden, NC.
    Jen,

    Kinda sounds to me like the guy's mental motor aint banging on all two cylinders. My thought, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!!! Ya can't please everyone.

    Mike
     
  4. RamRod

    RamRod New Member

    Messages:
    2,047
    State:
    Ohio
    I tend to agree to have a civil conversation with just you 2 in private or off to the side so nobody can hear. My son is in scouts and I understand what you're going through. Let him know you're there for him, not against him. Might be surprised at what you find out is really bothering him might not be you at all. JMO!
     
  5. elphaba7

    elphaba7 New Member

    Messages:
    795
    State:
    Mo'town, WV
    Thanks, guys, for all the support. I think my main rant is that I feel he should at least extend a little common courtesty! My husband says I shouldn't worry about it, that the guy is just an @$$. I suppose I'll go to the meeting, and if it continues, then attempt to speak to him about the problem.

    I suppose I am not your average "scout mom":p :rolleyes: :cool:
     
  6. Phil Washburn

    Phil Washburn New Member

    Messages:
    7,680
    State:
    Shawnee OK
    interesting advice from a guy whose nickname is ramrod:)
     
  7. Rockjumper

    Rockjumper New Member

    Messages:
    358
    State:
    Parker,Pennsylvania
    Be a better person than him. Apparently he has a problem. Not necessarily with you. Ben Franklin said you can judge a person on how they treat the little people. He is a little person. Be kind to him and show him that he isn't going to ruin your day. Some people like to "act" like a butt head. Maybe he is a butthead. I would just ignore him and focus on your cub scout group. If he wants to be a butt head, so be it. Doesn't mean you have to. You will know the time when you need to say something. Everybody has a bad day. Some people have bad months. Keep smiling, your kids will like that.

    Be a better person, kill'em with kindness!

    If that doesn't work, kick'em in the shin!LOL.
     
  8. Leakyboat

    Leakyboat New Member

    Does he act the same way,with his wife present or around the kids?I think i would talk to him.
    Ernie
     
  9. r ward

    r ward New Member

    Messages:
    2,954
    State:
    Kathleen G
    Scouts are for the boys don't let him worry you or ruin it for them he might think he is not ready for the moms to be involved with scouting too bad in todays world it takes all of us for the kids to grow up right
     
  10. Nobody Special

    Nobody Special New Member

    Messages:
    614
    State:
    TN
    Speak to him once, and if he doesn't respond in a kindly fashion, then say "&$%# you too, buddy" and spend the rest of your life pretending that he doesn't exist.
     
  11. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,010
    State:
    TN
    Good advice from all above. Grumpy I especially liked yours. ;)

    Jen, I sent you a PM.

    Love and Hugs to you and yours from TN to WVA.
     
  12. Mutt

    Mutt Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    19,206
    State:
    Ca
    Name:
    Mutt
    there could be lots of reasons he is this way towards you personally i wouldnt let it bug me. if you want to aproach him do so in a nice way for sure dont step to his level your to good a person from what ive seen here on the boc for that. another reason he may be this ways towards you is maybe he has a crush on you. i know one of my wifes friends her hubby was that way towards my wife we found out later on he had the hots for her. just that he didnt know how to hide it so he acted like a jerk instead.
     
  13. redneckdrum

    redneckdrum New Member

    Messages:
    623
    State:
    kansas
    lets all invite him to a BOC gathering,sometimes we just have to overcome bad with good.
     
  14. Desperado

    Desperado Active Member

    Messages:
    1,252
    State:
    Pataskala, Ohio
    Name:
    Clarence
    I'm an Eagle Scout and my son will be getting his this summer. The way it should be handled is to talk to him about it and if that doesn't work go to the Council office and talk to one of the executives about him. They can and will give the names of other cub scout packs in your area and boy scout troops. That way you can keep him in scouts. They will get with the local unit commissioner and he will deal with him. I was a Unit Commissioner and stepped down to be an Asst. Scoutmaster for my son. I served as a Cubmaster, Den Leader, and now where I'm at. If you need more help with this I will help you and make some calls. Let me know. No one should be treated that way.
     
  15. TDawgNOk

    TDawgNOk Gathering Monitor (Instigator)

    Messages:
    3,365
    State:
    Tulsa, Oklahoma
    Jen, don't worry about it.

    My daughter is in girl scouts. One of the "mothers" that attends the meetings along with my wife and daughter is a snooty-flooty-witch (subtract the w and add a b). She always looks at my wife and daughter as if they are 2nd or 3rd class citizens. She also talks down to my wife, and her daughter talks down to my daughter. I keep pointing out to my wife, that some people are just that way. Nothing you can do about it, however, everytime that you are nice to them, and they act like snooty witches, it just makes them look stupid.
     
  16. Kutter

    Kutter New Member

    Messages:
    5,379
    State:
    Arnold, MO
    You said his wife has been tied up with family problems? Could it be simply that those family problems are bothering him also and he has a lot of things going on right now that keeps his mind too occupied.
     
  17. FS Driver

    FS Driver New Member

    Messages:
    2,323
    State:
    swansea,illinoi
    its kinda hard to not say anything to him but if youve allready tried
    then IGNORE or kill em with kindness.
    either way will allow you to get your point across in an unhostile
    way saveing makeing a scene and haveing to resort to haveing
    the kids pulled out and switched around.
    he may be the family problem?????
    or not who knows ?
    i'd just continue on without loseing sleep and let him do
    his thing if he comes around fine if not no love lost.
     
  18. Dano

    Dano New Member

    Messages:
    13,712
    State:
    Texas
    I sure remember the scouting days. Had a lot of fun with my boys. Got our freeze out badges by camping in the snow. I went on every camping trip and any other type event involving the scouts. Derby races. Was a lot of fun. We really enjoyed it all.

    There is always a butt head in the bunch. I just over looked them for the most part. There was a time or two I had to speak my mind. Its for the kids and if someone has a bad attitude, maybe they shouldn't be a leader. My wife an I had our own cub scout den plus my oldest had moved up to boy scouts so I also became assistance leader in that just so our scout masters had back up for such things as family problems and a extra hand for trips. Most all us parents worked together but like I said there is a butt head in every
    crowd. Most times they dont last long. We had several dens in our town to choose from Have you thought about getting your own are becoming an assistant to another. Dont let anyone else ruin it for your kids are any others. If you got to stay in the one your at, just become a part of it, do the best you can and speak up for whats right. I would tell the man to lighten up a little. if it becomes a bigger problem go to the main guy who is in charge of
    your scouting area.
     
  19. three_rivers

    three_rivers New Member

    Messages:
    688
    State:
    Tupelo Ar
    I agree Kutter. He could have alot on his plate. Maybe he's shy or just a quiet person. Those family problems, or anything could be troubling his mind. Unless he verifies your suspicions i wouldn't act so hastily.
     
  20. Dano

    Dano New Member

    Messages:
    13,712
    State:
    Texas
    three_rivers, your right about that. I also look at the type of member Jen is and I trust she could spot a trouble, shy etc person. Such as me. LOL.