Clean hunting jokes

Discussion in 'Deer Hunting' started by hookeye, Dec 10, 2005.

  1. hookeye

    hookeye New Member

    Messages:
    162
    State:
    Kentucky
    Hey gang how about sharing some good clean jokes or real life funny hunting experiences.


    Subject: Deer Season


    Two deer hunters were standing on a ridge near a highway in rural Oklahoma on the opening day of dear season. They both spotted a large trophy class buck meandering towards them. As the one hunter raised his gun to shoot, a funeral procession came slowly by. The hunter lowered his gun, took off his hat, and stood with his head bowed until the procession was past. Of course by then, the deer was long gone.

    The other hunter exclaimed "Wow! That was the most sportsmanlike act I've ever seen! You allowed this trophy buck to escape while showing such compassion and kindness toward someone's dearly departed. You are a great humanitarian and a shining example to sportsmen throughout the world!"

    The first hunter nodded and said; "Well, we were married for 42 years". :grin-big:
     
  2. Bobpaul

    Bobpaul New Member

    Messages:
    3,039
    State:
    Supply NC
    Subject deer hunting also;

    DH and JW were out deer hunting. Dh busted a realy big buck with a monster rack.

    He and JW finally find the trophy and start dragging it back to the truck by grabbing onto each of it's hind legs. The going is slow because the deer's head keeps rolling back and forth and his antlers keep hanging up on everything.

    Finally, JW says "Hey DH, why don't we grab it by the antlers and drag it". "Good idea" says ol' DH.

    So, they're dragging the deer by the antlers now and JW says," This sure is easier, ain't it".

    DH says, "Yeah it sure is, but we're getting further and further away from the truck".
     

  3. flannelman

    flannelman New Member

    Messages:
    111
    Two men from West Virginia went hunting. They were named Billy and Jimmy. Billy said to Jimmy, "Shoot at any deer that moves." They both went to different tree stands. Well, Billy forgot his smokes and went to ask Jimmy for a cigarette. When Billy started going over to Jimmy, Jimmy shot him. Jimmy took him to the hospital and the doctor comes out. Jimmy asks, "Will he be O.K. Doc?" The doctor said, "Sure, if you hadn't field dressed him in the woods."
     
  4. derbycitycatman

    derbycitycatman Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,296
    State:
    Kentucky
    Not a Hunting Joke

    A lawyer is on his way home after a long day. He comes to a four way stop but just slows down and creeps thru the intersection. Just as he is picking up speed he is pulled over. The cop asks the laywer why he didnt come to a complete stop. Well being a lawyer he decided to argue about there being no need to stop and that slowing down to a crawl was the same to make sure it was safe to continue. AFter arguing for awhile the lawyer smugly says if you can tell me the difference between coming to a complete stop and just slowing down Ill pay the fine and donate the same to the policemans ball.

    The cop calmly asks the lawyer to step out of his car. As soon as he does the cop beats him senseless with his flashlight for a good 5 minutes. He slowly leans down on one knee and asks the lawyer would you rather me come to a complete stop or just slow down.
     
  5. Chanellocked

    Chanellocked New Member

    Messages:
    108
    State:
    Lake St. Louis, MO
    Bubba and Billy Bob were deer hunting, Bubba says to Billy Bob, I gotta go to the bathroom, but I ain't got any toilet paper. Billy Bob says, well Bubba just use a dollar. 10 minutes goes by and Bubba comes out of the woods with crap all over his hands. Billy Bob says, Bubba did you do like I told ya? And Bubba says, you try wipin' with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickle...Cleaned it up best I could... :D
     
  6. Katmaster Jr.

    Katmaster Jr. New Member

    Messages:
    4,644
    State:
    Wilmington, NC
    Two Polish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.

    They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose.

    The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same type plane as yours."

    Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down a few moments after take-off.

    Climbing out of the wreck one Polishman asked the other, "Any idea where we are?"

    "Yeah, I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year" :eek: :D
     
  7. blackwaterkatz

    blackwaterkatz Active Member

    Messages:
    3,659
    State:
    Andrews, SC
    Those were all good, guys. A good laugh is a great way to start off a day. Thanks