Bittersweet Mother's Day thoughts.

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by elphaba7, May 13, 2006.

  1. elphaba7

    elphaba7 New Member

    Messages:
    795
    State:
    Mo'town, WV
    Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and for me it leaves me feeling emotionally drained. While my own children have already started lavishing me with school-made gifts and attempts at cleaning the house:roll_eyes: , I still feel the absence of my own mother, and try to make peace with a longing and curiosity.

    My own mother left when I was six years old. One day, my father and I came home to find my two year old sister playing by herself in the living room. I can remember going into the bathroom to find my mothers hot rollers and pins in a jumble in our sink, and the signs that she had taken pains to get ready to go where ever it was she went. I also remember the matter-of-factness of my feelings that day, Yep, she's gone again. Although I don't remember the other times she had left, she had always come home again...at least until that time.

    We moved in with my grandparents. My grandmother was a perfect grandmother, but with failing health in no way able to step in a be a mother to two little girls. I don't remember missing my mother after she left, mainly because I lived a fairy tale life with my grandparents and my dad. We simply never went to Mother/Daughter events, but my dad made sure we never missed any other family activities. Girl Scouts, softball, dance class and piano lessons, we never missed. Church we went to regularly. In those golden years of my youth, everything was about family.

    Flash forward to the future, and I still feel a loss greater than I can explain at the lack of a mother figure in my life. I quite easily tear up at tender scenes of mother/daughter relationships, and cannot help but envy my own husband for the wonderful memories he has of his mother. My stepmother is a wonderful woman, and I am truly blessed to have her in my life, but the fact remains that she has always been more an older sister than a mother to me. And it goes beyond just not having the mother. Half of my culture and heritage I know nothing about. Deep-seeded inside of me is not only a curiosity about the people of Thailand, but also a deep resentment because after all, that is where she is from, and for all I know, that is where she went when she left.

    My husband tells me that I am a good mother, and my children say the same (I especially like it when they tell me I am the "coolest" mom :big_smile: ). Time will tell, as I watch these amazing little persons I created grow into adults. Thanks for listening, my friends.
     
  2. Mutt

    Mutt Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    19,211
    State:
    Ca
    Name:
    Mutt
    Sorry to hear about that Jen prayers go out to you. I have a different situation my mother passed away in 1968 and it still leaves a empty void for me at times and my father passed away in 2002 so now both them days leave me empty.
     

  3. Dano

    Dano New Member

    Messages:
    13,712
    State:
    Texas
    I read both threads. I sure dont want to take away form each. Jen, I understand.
    In past ten years I with support from wife, had to make the decision to turn off life support on brother and My mom both from doctors advice and their wishes. My Dad who died 6 months from brother, I had help in same choice. Mom and brother was me/ wife alone. Brother was hard but right choice as Doctor and his wishes. Mom. Doctors advice, whole thing after shut down. was to last maybe half hour/ longest a day. Right now I dont know total count but it was 14 to 18 days later. Details or for me. Wasn't good at all. I hope no one has to
    make that choice for someone else.
     
  4. Itch2Scratch

    Itch2Scratch New Member

    Messages:
    1,662
    State:
    Ivy Bend on LOZ, Missouri
    Jen having lost both my parents I can relate to that void on Mothers Day and Fathers Day....for me it's especially troublesome on Fathers Day....a few years ago I wished my dad "Happy Fathers Day" and he died later that day...that memory of him in the hospital and watching his life functions fade is still haunts me to this day...I had good parents..both of them...but I spent a career in the military and missed many good years....I guess we all have things we wish we could change in our lives but the one inevitable fact of life is the loss at some point of those we love.:sad2: