An Arkansas mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come back in a couple of days with a specimen. When she got home, she asked her husband, "What is a specimen?" He replied, "Danged if I know. Go next door and ask Edith. She's a nurse." She returned home about twenty minutes with her clothes all torn and with multiple bruises on her face and body. "What in the world happened?" asked he husband. "Danged if I know," she replies. "I asked Edith what a specimen was, and she told me to go piss in a bottle. I told her to go fart in a jug, and then all hell broke loose.