Arkansas Mountain Woman

Discussion in 'LOCAL ARKANSAS TALK' started by squirtspop, Apr 17, 2006.

  1. squirtspop

    squirtspop New Member

    Messages:
    968
    State:
    Glencoe, Arkansas
    An Arkansas mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home
    and come back in a couple of days with a specimen. When she got home,
    she asked her husband, "What is a specimen?" He replied, "Danged if I
    know. Go next door and ask Edith. She's a nurse."

    She returned home about twenty minutes with her
    clothes all torn and with multiple bruises on her face and body. "What
    in the world happened?" asked he husband. "Danged if I know," she
    replies. "I asked Edith what a specimen was, and she told me to go piss
    in a bottle. I told her to go fart in a jug, and then all hell broke
    loose.
     
  2. Quackcephus

    Quackcephus New Member

    Messages:
    94
    State:
    TX
    That's a good un!!! :blink:
     

  3. Dragger

    Dragger New Member

    Messages:
    538
    State:
    North Carolina
    A big 10-4 on that one brother:) :thumbsup: :big_smile_2: .....
     
  4. pescador

    pescador New Member

    Messages:
    56
    State:
    Ohio
    ha ha ha ha thats funny
     
  5. TOPS

    TOPS New Member

    Messages:
    4,099
    State:
    Cabot,Arkansas
    That sound as if my wife was involved in that little story!!!:) :) :)
     
  6. armynavy

    armynavy New Member

    Messages:
    422
    State:
    Iowa
    Thats funny I don't care who you are. Thats funny.
     
  7. jtrew

    jtrew New Member

    Messages:
    4,404
    State:
    Little Rock, AR
    Little Joe-Bob was in school one day, and his class was given a special homework assignment. Each student would be given a word, and the student would write a story illustrating the meaning of that work. Joe-Bob's word was 'frugal'. Now, Joe-Bob didn't have a clue what that word meant, so he asked his sister, who said, "It means thrifty." Well, that didn't help Joe-Bob out a bit, cause he didn't know what that word meant either; so he asked his mother. She said, "It means 'to save', that's all". Joe-Bob quickly ran to his room and wrote a story. The next day, when the teacher asked if anyone would like to read their story in front of the class, Joe-Bob's hand was the first one up. The teacher called him up in front of the class, and he began:

    Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who went riding alone in the woods. A snake scared her horse and it threw her off into a deep pit, where she wasn't able to climb out. Frightened, she began to yell, "Frugal me! Frugal me!" A handsome prince was riding nearby and heard her. He found the pit, frugalled the princess, and they lived happily ever after.
     
  8. TDawgNOk

    TDawgNOk Gathering Monitor (Instigator)

    Messages:
    3,365
    State:
    Tulsa, Oklahoma
    lol now those are funny
     
  9. SilverCross

    SilverCross New Member

    Messages:
    1,562
    State:
    Fairbury, Illin
    I almost choked to death on my pretzels on the Mountain woman, that was a good one.
     
  10. caatstalker

    caatstalker New Member

    Messages:
    265
    State:
    oklahoma
    good one if u ever have the privliege of fishing ark with true locals u realey could apreciate that joke . some of my most memoriable expearieances.are late nite fishing on tributaries of ark lakes with locals . u learn the true meaning of the word CUNNING , lol l ove ark. have a day
     
  11. TOPS

    TOPS New Member

    Messages:
    4,099
    State:
    Cabot,Arkansas
    The woman went to bed a little earlier than the old man, the woman was very tired and was almost asleep when the old man got to bed, As the old man crawled into bed, he booted very loud, the woman being half asleep, raised up in bed and said "what honey"!! the old man calmly said go back to sleep I did not mean to call your Name.!!
     
  12. squirtspop

    squirtspop New Member

    Messages:
    968
    State:
    Glencoe, Arkansas
    By golly Verlon, we do have something in common..your story sounds just like me and my wife just like mine did to you. LOL
     
  13. Arkansascatman777

    Arkansascatman777 New Member

    Messages:
    7,782
    State:
    AR
    Steve and three of his buddies had gone fishing for nearly forty years. One Saturday, the guys are fishing along a highway when a funeral processional drives by. As it passes by, Steve lays down his pole, stands up in the boat, takes off his lucky hat and places it over his heart. This processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass. Once it passes, Steve sits down, puts his hat on and casts out without saying a word. Needless to say his buddies are floored by his actions. One of them finally speaks up and says, WOW Steve, that sure was a respectful thing you did there when they went by. Steve replied, It seems the least I could do seeing as how I was married to the women for over forty years!
    777
     
  14. squirtspop

    squirtspop New Member

    Messages:
    968
    State:
    Glencoe, Arkansas
    Now that is true love if I ever heard of it. Gotta respect the fellow for that.